(Closed) No ring? Then why do you mention a proposal every 5 mins.?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well, it sounds like he’s committed to you and wants to get married, so that’s a good thing.  This may sound obvious, but have you talked to him about it?  Have you ever discussed a timeline together?

Post # 4
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree that it definitely sounds like you’re on the right track, that your SO really does seem to want a committment and wants to do something great for it! My advice is to stop snooping: maybe he doesn’t have a ring yet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a plan or a date. If you really want to get a timeline and get reassurance without having to ruin any surprises, I would advise sitting down and talking to him about it! Let him know how long of an engagement you would like, aka how long you think it’ll take you to plan the wedding you want. 

But just because he hasn’t proposed yet doesn’t mean you still won’t get married before your friends in May of 2014: I just got engaged this month and we’re getting married May 2013, much earlier than others we know with very long engagements. A 9-10 month engagement is totally doable, as are shorter ones! 

But again, it really does sound like he does want to propose soon, so be patient, talk to him about it, and good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I can totally relate! My SO talks about the logistics involved with us moving in together all the time but I am almost positive that he’s not looking at rings or actually doing anything to make our future happen. He always says that things will work themselves out if we are patient. I was hoping we would get married next summer but since he hasn’t asked yet that’s not a possibility anymore. I guess we both just have to have some faith and try to just be happy that we have great guys that love us even if they aren’t on the same timeline as we are! Hang in there! 

Post # 8
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  I hate the fact that it’s all in his control too: I mean, that’s just how it works in our society, and my partner would have hated it if I would have proposed to him, but everything else in our relationship is a decision we make together, that we discuss and decide the timing on together: why should when we get engaged be different? But sigh, it’s just how it is, and I know it’ll all be worth it for you soon! 

Post # 9
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Maybe he doesn’t know how long you want to spend planning a wedding and thinks it can happen faster than is reasonable?  Maybe he’s saving money for the ring, skywriter and other proposal related things, plus the wedding before he pops the question?  Maybe he has enough money for a ring, but hasn’t found the perfect one yet?  If he tells you the two of you will get married before your friends and they have their date sat (so he has a definate timeline) then I think the only things you can do are 1) make sure he knows how long it will take you to plan your wedding and 2)wait as patiently as you can.  Gratz on the upcoming engagement! πŸ™‚

ETA: The way I see it as long as he asks you by May 2013 you’ll have more than enough time to get married by the time your friends do in May 2014, I don’t see why you think there’s not enough time?  Also, maybe he’s not hiring a skywriter for the proposal and it was just an idea that he decided against.  You haven’t necessarily ruined the surprise. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I agree with you both the lack of control thing makes me crazy! I have two wonderful kiddos and I sometimes feel like our life is on hold because we are waiting for him. For example, I want a house and if he doesn’t want to get married soon I need to buy one for my kids and I. I just want to be able to move forward and not be in limbo anymore! 

Post # 13
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@impatientlywaiting20:  Have you made it clear to your SO that if he doesn’t propose or make plans to buy a house with you soon you’ll have to buy a house without him?  I know it seems like an obvious question, but sometimes it’s easy to miss the obvious and boys can be surprisingly dense sometimes lol

Post # 15
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  Yeah, try to stay positive.  πŸ™‚  I was a nervous wreck for what felt like forever while I was waiting on my now FI to pop the question.  I had a hard time thinking about ANYTHING else, it was nuts!  That wasn’t too long ago either, so it’s still pretty fresh in my mind.  It’ll happen soon, my spidey senses are tingling on this one. πŸ˜‰  Also, if you told him 12 month min. to plan a wedding, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s like most guys and thinks that means it’s ok to ask you exactly 12 months ahead of time lol You might want to clarify that for him just in case.  Like I said, my spidey senses are tingling on this one though, so IMO that’s really just to be safe πŸ™‚

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