Post # 1
So the BF was talking to his brother about how he was going to propose in front of me. The BF goes on to say that he is not mushy and he just plans on saying I love you and give me the ring. HOW LAME!!!
I said to him you dont have to be all mushy but it would be nice if you could at least ask me to marry you not just throw a ring at me.
Am i wrong for wanting to hear the question and have the man I love ask me the most important question of my life?
This is going to be a story that I will be re-telling for the rest of my life, is it ok to express to him that I will be re-telling this story and it would be nice if he could make a little effort???
Post # 3
My fiance showed me the ring as soon as he picked it up from the jeweler. He gave me the ring a week later. We were in a restaurant and he put it on the table and asked me to marry him. It wasn’t very surprising or romantic, but it was him. I was ok with it, though you are right, it doesn’t make a very good story.
Post # 4
I thought my FI wasn’t going to come up with much- romance isn’t really his thing, and the first time he proposed (not to me, he was engaged before me very briefly) it wasn’t very romantic- but he ended up coming up with the perfect proposal. I did say to him that it was really important to me that he make it special. I think it’s ok to explain why it’s important to you. In the end, maybe it won’t be a picture perfect movie type proposal, but it’ll definitely be special and the fact that you get to say you’re ENGAGED makes even the simplest story fantastic. 🙂
Post # 5
are you sure he’s not saying this just to throw you off? maybe he has something special planned and wants you to think it’s not going to be anything exciting.
Post # 6
You’re not wrong – I think you need to take both people’s opinions into account, though. That means that if you want a romantic proposal, he should realize that it’s something really, really nice he could do for you. Though if he’s really someone who’s shy about this sort of thing and it’s overwhelming and high-pressure, you should consider that as well. I do think he should take what you want into account and use it as an opportunity to remind you how amazing he is and how much you want to be with him. But if he is really shy or a total nonromantic by nature, then it may be better for both of you to accept who he is rather than pressure him to do something that makes him uncomfortable.
FWIW, we didn’t have any proposal at all. We just decided that if we wanted to get married in summer 2011, we should tell people we’re engaged when we go home for the holidays in 2009. People ask us for the story and there is none. Which is fine by me. If you want something big, make sure it’s for you and not for the story, especially if he’s uncomfortable with it… having it be something you want to tell over and over again is even more pressure.
Post # 7
@entangled i completley agree with you. I dont want to pressure him into doing anything that he is uncomfortable with that’s why I told him he doesnt have to be mushy but I think he could at least ask me instead of throwing a ring at me! LOL
Post # 8
It might make it easier for him to be more romantic if you tell him you’d prefer it done privately, somewhere romantic enough, but where he wouldn’t be embarassed to lay it all out.
Try hinting how much it would mean to you if it wasnt done too simplistic.
Post # 9
my favorite saying is “actions speak louder than words.” my husband got so nervous when he proposed that no mushy stuff came out… he started talking about how long we’ve been dating and said it was about time he gave me the ring, and whipped it out. like i said, not mushy, but the symbolism of him giving me a ring, which says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, was amazing.
Post # 10
Maybe he was trying to throw you off? I doubt any man would say to his SO’s face that he was just going to give it to her and be serious. He might just be trying to get a rise out of you. 🙂
Post # 11
If it makes you feel any better, I didnt get a proposal at all 🙂 We just sat down and agreed to get married and bought rings a month or two later! lol
Post # 12
FI literally went to pick up the ring then immediately came over to my apartment, got on one knee, and gave it to me. he said he had some more elaborate plans but couldn’t wait–he was too excited. I completely didn’t care–its about getting married to the person you love not some grand gesture. asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you is special enough as it is.