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Unfortunately, (I know you don't want to hear this) it does happen! and it happened at my wedding!
Actually a lot of RSVP problems happened with me! I had people who NEVER responded -- even after my attempts to tell them -- and finally I wrote the girl an email and told her that I didn't have enough space and that she didn't tell me in time and I'm really sorry... apparently, she took that for "OK, I'll see you there!!"
Our guest list had to be at an almost exact number, and it was so funny when we went to say hi to every table, and there were people there who either didn't rsvp or weren't even invited!! We had invited a family and their daughter, (already a big family) she had just recently gotten engaged, but was with her family so not alone, and we didn't really get along with her fiance -- guess who saw there!! Another friend of mine, who knows a ton of people at my wedding, was invited alone but asked me a week before the wedding if she could bring her WHOLE FAMILY (who we didn't know) to come. I said no, but her brother still came with her!!
People sometimes don't get the RSVP thing... leave room for errors!! :)
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Oh NO!!! Now I am freaking out...people have RSVP-ed for +2 and +3 and we have called and explained our budget and space constaints. Does this mean they will show up with 4 people anyway? Da$* it!!!!!!!!
FutureMrsMorgan- You just need to kindly explain to these guests that are adding more guests that you cannot fit everyone at your venue. If they bring all these other people you'll either have to give them a place, or tell them to leave.
We're having a plated me, so I'm all for telling them to leave if it happens to me :)
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I'm at the point where im so frustrated with people!!! I have 6 people that have not RSVPed. My MOH has attempted to contact them several times to find out if they are coming... no response. These people all asked for invites and stated they were sooo excited about the wedding, but wont RSVP! I have NOT included them in my count.. they will not have seats at the reception either. I've worked so hard for months to plan everything right to make all of our guests feel special, but if they cant take a second to RSVP or respond to my MOH, they can stand in the corner! lol
ohhh 8 days before wedding we got 3 yeses--
then 7 days before we got a ohh I am going to bring my child...
Then the final list went in and now today 5 days away we get 1 I am not bringing my boyfriend and ohh I got a babysitter afterall!!
Seriously do these people not realize I HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM TO EAT????
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No kidding! We have a smaller venue and a tight budget, and after we submit our rsvps, there will really be no room for wedding crashers. I would definitely follow up on any no rsvps to reassure yourself, and contact anyone who alters their guest number or puts a request.
I can just imagine what my father would do if someone showed up who did not belong! Oh me! Oh my!
@Chela429 - That would drive me nuts! What do you say to these people? I think my impatience might start to show at that point and just tell them sorry...too late, I wish I had gotten your rsvp ON TIME. Okay, maybe that's in my fantasy...but seriously!
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oh my goodness - I hope it doesn't come to it, but we've talked about this lately - so I think I'm willing to call people if they RSVP for too many. If they show up though, the evil eye might sear a hole through them. Kidding, kind of.
I honestly wish we didn't have budget/space constraints. It is what it is, and I guess the day will be great regardless. Although I'd hate to multiply all the extra people by the per person cost. Yikes! Good luck!
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This is what is freaking me out too. I'm also worried about those that don't get the "and guest" on their invitations bringing one anyway. Where the heck to people get off thinking that is OK?
I think the best we can do is to keep contacting your guests to try and get as precise as a number as possible. But when it comes down to it chances are your "final" number to your venue vs those that show up will probably fluctuate. Prepare for it. I would hope that any venue that is experienced at throwing weddings realizes this.
Almost everyone wedding I've been to has fluctuated 1-2 tables. Yes, tables. Some get 1 or 2 tables not show up some get 1 or 2 more tables that show up. The best you can do is shuffle people around and get the venue to have backup tables & tableware.
I, for one would never think of turning a guest away that shows up last minute.
So what do these people do when they get to an assigned seating wedding. They go to the table and see that their name is not there... then just sit anywhere. That would piss me off. Crossing fingers that this doesnt' happen to me.
My oh my I feel you guys on this one. I've spent my friday evening tracking down those 40 slackers who haven't bothered to RSVP. at least now we are down to 35 slackers. Anyway, so this is a real conversation I had with my aunt (who lives abroad) about 10 minutes ago. We invited her, my uncle, and their 3 daughers.
Me: so are you coming to the wedding? Our RSVP deadline is today and we have to give the caterer numbers next week.
Aunt: Only your one cousin can make it to the wedding, but who knows, the rest of us may all show up at the last minute!
Me: I'm really sorry about this, and I'm not sure how things work (in your country) but here in the US you can't just show up at the last minute. We need to know exactly how many tables and chairs to rent, and we have to tell the caterer how many people will be coming so that we have enough food for everyone. On top of that, we will be charged a penalty if people show up who haven't RSVP'd [this isn't exactly true, but if more than a certain percentage show up then we do get charged]
Aunt: So are you having a bachelorette party?
Me: (frustrated, repeats question)
Aunt: Well hopefully we can ALL go to your wedding!
Me: sigh... even more frustrated... Ok just let me know THIS WEEKEND.
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I was just reading an old post by Mrs. Shortcake about people who had already RSVPed no changing their mind but not telling the bride. I'm starting to have a mini-freak out! Does this really happen?! How common is it?
We've had lots of people RSVP no, which we expected since we invited a lot of single people (including our cousins) with a guest and they are not bringing one, and we had A LOT of out-of-town guests invited. But now I'm terrified that maybe they will change their mind...the only people I can imagine doing this are my fiancee's friends who have said no, but they live far away so they can't quite change their mind last minute. But maybe I'm just trying to convince myself of that to feel better.
Did this happen at your wedding? What did you do about it?