No Save-the-Dates and online RSVPs?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: In my opinion...
    Both are fine! Do whatever you want, it's your wedding! : (16 votes)
    67 %
    No Save the Dates are okay, but please do the traditional physical RSVP, even if it costs a lot. : (7 votes)
    29 %
    It's rude to do either! People need Save the Dates and physical RSVPs. : (0 votes)
    Other, explain in comments. : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    The last couple of weddings I’ve been invited to have not sent a save the date and I’ve declined.  They were getting married on big holiday weekends that require travel and by the time I got the invitation, it was very expensive to make arrangements to get there.  If you have guests traveling from out of town, I urge you to send them some sort of save the date with travel information.

    I don’t mind online rsvps, but I’m not willing to sign up for an account or download an app to rsvp to your wedding.

    Post # 3
    8847 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I’d do a Paperless Post save-the-date and online RSVP.  I don’t know what AppyCouple is, but like PP, as long as I don’t have to register for or download something, online is great.

    Post # 5
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’ve received an electronic Save the Date and online RSVPed to weddings before and didn’t think anything of it. As previous posters have mentioned, as long as I don’t need to download anything, you’re fine.

    Post # 6
    861 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    musician32992:  I think rsvp online is a good idea and the way of the future. People screw up physical rsvps all the time. We have a million threads about it. Screw save the dates, for centuries people have managed to get to weddings without them. Personally, I think there existance is an implication people are stupid lmao

    Post # 7
    6447 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    What is Appy Couple? Would I need to register or download something to RSVP? If so, find a different online RSVP site.

    Is your wedding on a holiday weekend? Are a ton of guests traveling? If no, you are definitely okay with not sending out STDs. If yes, just start spreading the word now to people who are close to you to make sure they know when your wedding is.

    Post # 9
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think it would be fine for younger people, but older people might not understand how to use AppyCouple.

    Post # 10
    49 posts
    • Wedding: July 2015

    We aren’t sending Save the Dates – I don’t think they’re required unless you’re getting married on a holiday weekend or doing a destination wedding. 

    We will also be directing people to our wedding site to RSVP and get the maps, registry info and any other info they need. 

    Our budget’s pretty tight and every bit we can save on stamps, cards, can go into something more fun like our bar and decorations! 

    Post # 11
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We are having the online RSVP for most guests to save as postage, however for more elderly relatives/those who don’t like the internet we are providing stamped addressed envelopes. For everyone else there will still be an RSVP card, but not stamped.

    I know some people won’t approve, but we’ve passed it by our circle and they are happy with it as they spend much more time online and are actually more likely to reply that way!

    Post # 12
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    musician32992:  I don’t think STDs are always neccesary but since we have a lot of out of town guests, we wanted to give them a head’s up.  I did my STDs through It’s $29.99 to send it to an unlimited amount of emails (first 10 are free), and it tracks everything for you with no need for you or your guests to download anything. Same deal with their invitations.  I really liked the service and a lot of people commented how they appreciated the convenience of receiving it online.

    We’re doing regular paper invitations though.  Mostly because I prefered it, but also for our older guests who don’t use or have a computer.

    Post # 13
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: Old Victorian B&B/Restaurant & Gardens

    musician32992:  We are having an out of town wedding that many people will have to travel for so what we did was a mass Save-the-Date email that included our wedding website link so they could take a look at the travel info, accomodation info etc… We then sent actual invites that also had a picture from our engagment session. On the invites we included the link to our wedding website and asked people to RSVP on there.  There are only one or 2 family members who dont have a computer and I am just calling them closer to the date to get their responses. It has been working out so far and have gotten a lot of comments on how they liked our invitations and update emails I have been sending out whenever we update something important on our wedding website.


    • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  twinter91.
    Post # 14
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Kellym84:  +1, I’m doing the same! Saves us a lot of money, but doesn’t give my grandma and great-aunts the trouble of hunting down a computer to RSVP on…haha. We did put stamps on our RSVPs, however, since we didn’t have too many paper ones to send and it fit into our stationery budget.

    But I’d say you can easily skip the Save the Dates altogether! Honestly, unless I’m really close to the couple, I don’t like to feel the need to hang their STD on my fridge for months and months. Unless I’m mistaken, it’s a fairly new “tradition” too, so I’m sure most people wouldn’t even notice its absence!

    Post # 15
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    musician32992:  Feel free to skip the paper Save The Date, but I would encourage you to do a paper RSVP. Why? Because not everyone is tech savvy or even uses tech (hard to believe, but there are people that are like that – and I personally know some that would not have a clue what to do with an email).

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