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i worked on this A LOT and just couldn't solve the puzzle of who to seat with whom so i'm thinking of NOT having any table numbers and seating assignments and just letting people seat themselves. Good Idea? Bad Idea? i don't have divorced parents or family feuds so i really don't think it'll be an issue. Plus, i'll save a few bucks on place cards, holders, and all that good stuff? Has anyone been to a reception like this?
I always envision a scramble for tables so people sit with who they want the most and then people get left out. It's just a mad dash! I went with assigned tables but not seats. I went to ONE wedding like this and the family tables were reserved but people were definitely placed in strange places. Plus there were extra tables to compensate for the "i don' twant to sit at that table" dilemas. Whereas people are consolidated better with assigned tables.
My place cards were my favors--you can print out on perforated paper from Staples, etc!
We didn't do assigned seating and it was fine. I ran out of time anyway to make the charts and table #'s and things anyway. I think it worked out well because people could sit by who they wanted, and for example, some of our quieter low key guests sat a ways back and our noisier more social guests sat more upfront. Also guests that had not seen each other for a while were able to sit closer to one another to catch up, and so on. I think it worked out great.
I'm leaning toward no assigned seats as well. I think that's a good idea. If you're struggling with it though, would the people themselves struggle as well?
i've been to a wedding that didn't have assigned seats and i didn't care. I think it'd be an issue if some of my guests had beef with each other, but they don't. we shall see...
We assigned tables for the tables our parents hosted. Everyone else had open seating, and it turned out really well. :) My only advice is to have a little extra seating, maybe one or two extra tables depending on your guest list. It solves the problem of people having to split up just to fill empty seats.
I wouldn't do it, but ultimately it's up to you and your guests, some people would do better with this than others. I wouldn't want my guests to feel like a kid in the cafeteria looking for a table. As a guest, I like knowing where I'm sitting.
It really depends on how many guests are coming to your wedding.
If you have a medium-sized (or larger!) wedding, I'm a firm believer that you need a seating chart. I've been a few weddings without a seating chart, and it's been a mess every time. It has nothing to do with family drama, etc. It's more about the fact that the numbers don't necessarily work out. For example, say you've invited a group of college friends, and five of them show up. If you had a seating chart, you would probably put the five together at one table (so they can be totally comfortable,enjoy the evening, catch up, etc.). If there are no seating charts, once that group of friends makes it into the reception, there might not be five spaces open at a table. People then have to split up and sit at different tables. It's not the end of the world, but having a seating chart helps alleviate some of the hassle/pressure for the guests. I guess what I'm saying is that, as a guest, I've ALWAYS appreciated a seating chart.
Additional comment!!! When I say seating chart, I really just mean having assigned tables. I don't think it's necessary to actually tell each person where they will sit at the table - just assign folks to a table and let them figure out the seating once they get there. Like I said before, this is just my experience, but I've been to a few large-ish weddings that didn't have table assignments, and every single one of them was a mess in that initial "mad rush" to find a table...
We went to a wedding a month ago where there weren't any seating charts or table numbers and it was chaos. People were scrambling to find seats together, families got seperated because three people would sit at a table for six, we had to save two tables for my FI's family and we had to stand guard over the table to ensure we had tables. Mind you this wasn't a huge wedding (probably between 125-150) but it was still chaotic. (It didn't help that there were too many people and not enough seats) It was at this time that my future brother in law and his wife kindly suggested we have a seating chart to avoid the mess. I think a seating chart prevents people from being pressured to finding a seat (and having to stick by it to make sure they keep it) it may be a little extra work but I think it'll save you a headache on your wedding day!
We didn't have any assigned seating, but we had a fairly small wedding (75 people). There wasn't a scramble for seating or anything, in fact one of my tables no one even sat at (we had extras).
We didn't have assigned seating but we reserved a few tables for immediate family. It worked out really well for us.
I agree with Miss Cola. If you have a larger wedding and limited extra chairs, you may find your guests without a place to sit because they either a) don't want to sit next to people they don't know and/or b) their parties got seperated.
With 200-250 people, we are doing table assignments, not seating assignments though.
i would do table assignments but not seats. that's what i'm planning to do, so you still save money on placecards!
Do table assignments only? I personally feel pretty awkward at weddings when I'm not told which table to sit at -- and it often happens that someone we want to sit with can't ft at our table and get split up sitting with peopl ethey don't know. Or I've even seen guests move chairs around to fit themselves around a table beyond capacity, moving the place setting and everything with them.
Table assignments save you t he headache of making a whole seating chart, while keeping it nice and easy for guests, I think!
We not doing seating assignments either. We're having a strolling reception with a lounge type of atmosphere and it just wouldn't work.
My parents would kill me if we didn't do assigned seating, ever since they went to a wedding where one of the bridesmaids couldn't even sit in the main room because she was one of the last through the buffett, they thought it was the rudest thing ever.
We'v got about 160 guests coming and we're doing assigned tables, not seats. I went to a wedding last year with no seating assigned and my fiance and I sat at an empty table with our two kids. Before we knew it, other people had chosen tables around us and put their kids at our table.
It was fine, because we're cool with it, but we felt disconnected the whole time. There were no others adults near us to talk with...
I'd say it's not a huge deal. I've been to weddings with seating assignments and without, and I've had mixed opinions. At one, it wasn't a problem, as people were dancing way more than sitting. At another, it was a total nightmare, and my boyfriend at the time and I actually had a rough time finding somewhere to sit while we ate... I found a seat and he stood behind me. That was uncomfortable. But again, I think it's different, depending on the wedding, the mood, the amount of guests, etc. We're doing table assignments only.
I'm going to change/add to my previous answer. At our reception we had 8 ft banquet tables and we made them into a giant "E" literally. The long vertical line of the "E" I think had about 3 or 4 tables (it's all a blur now), and then each of the three horizontal lines of the "E" had about 3 or 4 tables too. So everyone was together, facing each other, near each other.... families couldn't get split apart, it was impossible.
So I was thinking though that if you have round tables or couldn't put all your tables together like we did then some groups of people could get split apart and you might want to go with assigned seating or assigned tables.
Most articles I read say that having table assignments (not necessarily seating assignment) saves your guests a lot of headaches and avoids stress. They would like to know where they're sitting and not fend for their seats. They also do not like wandering around the banquet room checking to see what other guests will accept their addition to the occupied tables. Your table assignments don't need to be perfect. Just try your best and it's not like guests sitting at different tables are forbidden to interact or something. They may even switch seats among themselves.
I have been to about 20 weddings in my life and NONE of them (I repeat, NONE) have ever had seating assignments or table assignments for guests. Most of them had a few tables with a reserved sign saying "for family" (near the dance floor usually - but family didnt usually end up there anyways) or a long table for the bridal party. Maybe this is why I don't think its odd to not have assigned seats. I've never heard anyone complain about it and I've never felt uncomfortable either. In fact, I would feel odd going to a wedding with assignments. We're creatures of habit, so anything different from what people are used to will feel odd -- but it will work just fine. Besides I here more horror stories about people feeling left out because they were assigned to a "bad" table or the "singles" table, or had to sit with family when wanted to sit with friends, etc. Either way there will be complaints...so I say do what is easiest for you. Rather have people upset with themselves because they didnt get to the right table on time, rather than get upset at you for making a bad placement.
and by the way, these have been both larger 200+ guests to small 50 guest wedding receptions and in both small towns and bigger cities.
I must have assigned tables ... but I'm leaving it up to the guests to decide where at the table to sit!
Most of the weddings I have attended have had seating assignments. I have been to several weddings where it was neccessary-especially if guests selected an entree on the RSVP card.
BUT, for me, just the thought of doing seating assignments makes my head throb. We are having a buffet dinner, so I'm letting everyone seat themselves. However, I will have reserved tables for immediate family and the wedding party. I'm interested to see how it all plays out.
I've been to lots of events that didn't have assigned seating of any kind and it was total chaos each time. I can't imagine not doing assigned seating for that reason, even though I have never seen it done. You can assign everyone to a table and let them pick which chair to sit in, which is easier.
I'd say at least assign tables. That's what we did. I've been to other weddings that had no assigned seats and there's a level of tension among guests when they suddenly have to decide if they'll be able to get a table that will fit everyone or where will they sit if there isn't enough room, etc. etc.
I wasn't a big fan of having each separate name on a tag with the assignment since we didn't really have a place for anything like that, so I did a 24x36 sheet that had names alphabetically by last name (Johnson, Mary & Joe) type thing and have the table number after. Everyone found their spot and we actually just borrowed table numbers from our venue that the waiters cleared away after everyone was seated. It worked flawlessly really!
Id assign tables but I dont think it is necessary to assign actual seats. Ive worked weddings and events where there are no table assignments and it can be chaos. People wont walk up to a table where there is 1 seat left because they dont want to be separated from other people - they try and add an extra chair and screw up the place settings. It can take people forever to find a seat as well. Go with assigning tables!
I've been to weddings where no allocated seating was fine, and one or two where it was really stressful for some guests because they had to scramble for seats, ended up sitting nowhere near anyone they knew, and it took forever for people to actually settle down to the meal. Even though it was only a couple of times, I don't want to risk that for my wedding -- but then, I'm really looking forward to sorting out the seating plan so that it's as good as it can be, and all the tables are put together thoughtfully so that people should have a good time, even if they don't know everyone!
We didn't do assigned tables, but we also had really long tables so a lot of the issues mentioend above din't come up (6 rows of 4 long tables put together then a break then 4 more tables). I was nervous at first (hubby refused to allow me to assign seats since our "guests are adults and can choose for themselves who they want to sit by). To be honest, I was glad he did because that woudl have been a lot of work and since our RSVPs were a little screwy it could have been inaccurate.
I did go to a wedding that had the round tables of 8 and that was a bit chaotic when it came time to find our seats. It still all worked out though!
I think doing numbered tables means you might have to have 1 or 2 more tablse than you technically need (ex: 12 tables of 8 for 80 guests) since some tables will have less people because of the way you group them. It's going to happen. I just think having an assignment gives people a "home abse" you get to decide where people go (who wants their coworkers right near the headtable and parents in the back corner????) and who gets to MEET new people (play cupid much?) It's hard but it's thoughtful and I think the best way to go.
I think it's a bad idea, I'm sorry!! I've been to dinners without seating assignments and it's always been the most awkward thing ever!! People always panick and rush the tables, then its stressful because you have to play musical chairs if you want to sit with people you know or even your date! Plus, your family should get the prestige of a better location. Sorry if it's not what you wanted to hear!
I've been to weddings with no seating assignments, and they turned out fine. So, I don't think it's something you really need to wory about, there will most likely be no mad rush, and people know enough to leave the closest tables for immeadiate family. I'm personally still on the fence about them for my wedding though, since we have picnic tables, I'm not sure if we would need them or not. But, if you've got no family feuds to worry about, (I wish I could say the same!) then you should be fine without one.
I was MOH at my sister's wedding and she did not have assigned tables/seating. Big mistake! The ballroom wasn't big enough, and a few folks had to eat in the spill-over room, apart from all the fun & games. I chose to sit out in "Siberia" with those unfortunate enough to get stuck out there - I thought it was pretty lousy for some guests to be so far removed from everything.
Even though our venue is big enough to fit everyone, at our wedding we will have assigned tables. I've learned from my sister's mistake.
When my husband and I were dating, we went to the wedding of one of his cousins. We were at the end of the line through the buffet, so by the time we were ready to be seated, there were no seats together, and our party of five had to split up. That was the number one deciding factor in having assigned seating at our wedding; I did not want the guests at OUR wedding to go through the same awkwardness.
My mom and I also took a Wedding Ideas class, and that was one of the things they mentioned. Having assigned seating can really help with making sure groups are seated together, and that people are seated with those of similiar interests. Even if you don't have assigned seats, I think assigned TABLES are a must at the very least.
I'm so torn on what to do about this! We're having a small wedding (~50 guests) and aren't sure if we should do assigned tables or not.
I keep going back and forth in my head about it!
thanks you guys. note to moderndaisy: i LOVE hearing everyone's output. it helps me decide things. i guess i'll go back to the drawing board and see what i come up with. the good thing is that i only have 100 guests and 10 tables.. :D
I went to a small wedding without assigned seating and it was bad. By the time we got there, all the college aged guests had sat together, and DH and I were stuck sitting in a corner alone at a table with friends of the groom's parents. It was really awkward, and definitely not who I would have chosen to sit with. At our wedding, we did assigned tables, not seats, and it worked great! There was only one table with small issues (4 people weren't able to come day of, and they were all at the same table!) so we just rearranged the last 2 at the last minute. I'd really recommend doing it that way.
Since half of my reception tables are inside and the other half are right outside in a porch area, I am not doing assigned seating. I was so nervous about someone being offended that I had "put" them outside or someone else being bummed because they wanted to be outside, that I just decided that they could decide.
I'll have a few tables that are for family, but since our wedding is so small (90 people), I'm not going to sweat this one.
I've been to two weddings where there wasn't assigned seating and it worked out fine. That said, I much prefer finding my assigned table.
I think non-assigned seating is easier if you know a lot of people, but if you don't, you end up scrambling for a seat. Also, I think it will be easier for my older guests/family to find an assigned seat vs. a random one.
We're having about 100 people, and we're doing assigned tables, not seats. I figure within a table, people can sit where they want
We're not doing it. I'm just trying to save what shreds of sanity I have left. :p
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