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My cousin didn't have assigned seating at his wedding. I didn't really know anyone there, either. There were distant relatives, but my parents had left, my grandma and aunt/uncle had taken their own table, and having had fallings out with the cousin and his fiancee/wife, I didn't know any of their friends or whathaveyou. (I was honestly surprised to be invited...but I think we un-burnt the bridge. At least my cousin and I did. Maybe.)
I'd say it worked well, I just felt a bit out of place for not really knowing much of anyone, and when I stole my brother's seat while he was with the party taking pictures (bf and I couldn't find any place else to sit), I ended up sitting with his wife's relations, which was a bit awkward, but my brother tells me the person I was sitting next to was incredibly shy/introverted, and not to take offense.
So, after my novel: Unassigned seating can be good, but make sure you open about whether or not you're ok with chairs being moved. Or at least have some extras in a corner, just in case.
I say assigned tables, unassigned seating. It's nice to have a little choice about who you sit beside, but wouldn't you hate for couples to be split up when there are only single seats left etc?
I say give yourself one less thing to worry about! For the most part, your guests are adults and can find a seat okay :) I like Miss Beagle's idea of doing table assignments, if you're really worried.
Is it common for people to do assigned seats as opposed to tables? I don't think I have ever heard of anyone assigning a specific seat for their guests.
We had table assignments and it worked really well; sure, there were a few people who RSVPed who we had difficulty seating with other people because they didn't know anyone else. Thinking back there was 1 table that was probably really awkward, but it was either that or adding more tables.
Our bridal party sat at a head table of 12 and the remainder of our 135 guests sat at 17 round tables of 8 (only 1 seat was vacant at my parents table). The rest we were able to squeeze in. When we did a cost breakdown we found that an addition of just 1 table would have been $204!!! The table/chairs/place settings/chair covers were $98 and the centerpiece was the remainder of the $204. After doing that there was no question...
I have only been to 1 wedding where there was not a table assignment and I knew ahead of time that there wasn't going to be one as I was very close with the bride. It was awful! Because I knew there was no seating chart, my friends, DH, and I all got there right at the beginning of the cocktail hour because we were so stressed about getting split it. I ended up with friends but my best friend and her boyfriend got split up because they knew a few other people (parents friends) that they sat with because we didn't all fit. It was terrible!!
Our wedding is more of a cocktail reception although we will be serving food- it seems like more trouble than it is worth right now. Call me lazy!
I am a HUGE fan of seating assignments (or at the very least, table assignments). I think this relieves a lot of the pressure for guests regarding where they are going to sit, if they can sit next to this person or that person, is this seat taken, etc. There is no guess work, none of the "no I'm saving this seat for so and so" silliness, etc. You tell them (via a table card) that they are sitting at table 9 and either there are name cards pre-set at table 9, they find theirs and sit down (or put down their drink and mingle) or they know that they are sitting at table 9 and can figure out where at that table they would like to sit. I know it probably complicates things a little for you and FI in the planning stages, but believe me, it makes the day of way less chaotic and stressful for you and your guests. Also, once the seating is done, it's done. None of this stuff from parents or other guests regarding their seating choices for guests. If you want parental input, ask from the beginning and then make your decisions. You don't want it to all be settled and then your mom comes back a few days before and says "oh, Aunt Suzie simply cannot sit next to cousin Frank because they had a spat" or whatever. Too bad - they can be adults and deal with it (although I don't suggest seating people together who have ongoing issues or problems with eachother, like divorced parents, etc).
-Bella
I think we are going to do the assigned seating. They can always trade seats if they feel so inclined, but I don't want people to feel left out or have problem finding seats to sit.
I think that if you have over 30 people, it is pretty important to have assigned tables. After that, it's up to you whether you want to do assigned seats at said tables. There are several reasons I think this is imortant: 1 - so your guests don't feel lost, most will expect assigned seating, 2- so there is no awkwardness as people decide who to sit with, 3 - so that seating is done in an orderly and timely manner, 4- it gives you control over who is closest to you, wouldn't it stink if you really wanted your close friends at a nearby table but some overeager group of your parents friends or distant relatives pounce on all the close tables???
Assign tables if you are serving dinner. I think a small wedding could handle no assignments but if you have a lot of people (like more than 50), you will have empty chairs and need additional seating. I think people will move about as they choose after the meal but let them know they have a secure home base.
I think a lot of this decision depends on how many guests you are having and how many spare tables you would have space, time, money to set-up.
I think at a minimum, you need to have a reserved table or two for parents and grandparents. I only say this because at a wedding I attended last year, the MOB and FOB waere with the bridal party, and by the time they found their way into the reception hall, they had to sit at the back of the room! If you clearly mark the front two or three tables for family, and then inform the family members of where you would like them to sit, at least you could avoid one possible problem.
We are not doing assigned seating, but I am reserving the tables around the head table for grandparents and aunts and uncles. I have made signs for each table that say "Reserved for ____ ______ Family." We have such a mix of people coming, there is no way I am going to try and organize the seating.
I haven't completely decided, but my thought right now is that we won't assign tables or seats. We will however need to reserve seats and areas fo certain guests, so it may change. Even if we do end up assigning tables, we won't assign seats. Our food will be passed aps and buffet style meal.
I also think it is a huge stress on guests when there are no assigned tables. It is stressful to plan, but doing so now saves your guests from a potentially sticky situation! We were just at a wedding with no assigned tables or seating, and it was a nightmare. Everyone was panicking, and the schedule was delayed because it took people a long time to figure it out... I don't think there were extra tables and to make everyone fit was kind of crazy.
I've only been to one wedding with assigned seats and I felt bad for the couple in the corner table because no one else assigned to their table showed up so they were by themselves the entire night when they could have sat at another table.
I'm going to reserve table for our families and the bridal party and that's it. Everyone else can grab a seat where they wish.
I am personally a big fan of assigned tables. I have been to ONE wedding that didn't have them, and it was chaos. Tables got filled with 5-6 people. Then there were maybe spare seats for 1-2. THis happened all over the board. So families got separated. Who wants to be the lone person at a table with 6-7 other people who are all great chums with each other??????
However, I've learned for this board that there are some regional differences. So my best advice is that:
1. If your crowd is used to assigned seating, you need to have assigned seating, or they will be stressed. (An I'm sorry for the sake of your guests, you owe it to them to not cause them the stress of scrambling for seats. Even if you find the task stressful. If you want them to come, you need to make them comfortable.)
2. If your crowd does not typcially have assigned seats, then I don't think you should worry about assigning them.
3. If your crowd is split, (yours don't assign, FI's do) I think you need to go ahead and assign. Of course I'm biased towards assigning. But I think the inconvenience of not assigning tables, for those who want it, is much greater than assigning tables to those who don't care for it.
<span style="font-family: tahoma, verdana; font-size: 13px;">
<p style="margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px;">I’m a huge fan of assigning tables.
<p style="margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px;">I don’t like being the wedding guest that doesn’t know that many people and gets stuck at a table with older guests or kids or a family or whatever. And if I know lots of people (especially if I haven’t seen some of them in a while) I want to sit with my friends and I hate scrambling to find a table that will seat all of us. Its just awkward all the way around.
We didn't have assigned seating and everything went fine. Of course some people sat near people that they knew but others sat wherever they wanted. I liked it because it allowed me to take over people's seats after dinner because my dress was killing my back!
As a guest, I think I would rather have someone tell me where to sit---and I can imagine it getting pretty messy and chaotic without table #s
Since we're having plated dinners, it was required by the restaurant to have assigned tables so the wait staff can start mapping out how many of each entree go to which table.
table assignments (especially for larger events) i think are hands down the way to go. it may be a little more headache to sit down and have to think about who will sit where, but in the end it makes the guests feel so much more at ease when they show up to the reception- especially if they do not know many people there. the last thing i want is for any of our guests to feel uncomfortable. of course, the alcohol we have on hand will hopefully help with that as well! :)
If you're really struggling ask the moms to help out... my MIL started telling me who couldn't sit with who, so I told her you have x-number of tables, here is the list for your family - you place them! *lol*
We're only doing assigned tables, and yup, it's a headache - but I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be the day of for guests (esp. those who don't know a lot of other guests) to find a comfortable place to eat dinner!
Table assignments at least, please! Especially helpful if you're one of the guests who doesn't know many other guests, such as coworkers, but sometimes that's not even the only issue. I went to a table assignment-less wedding where a bunch of coworkers had been invited, but there were too many of us to sit at one table. Most of the group didn't realize that until there was one seat left and three people left standing. I realize it's a lot of effort and stress, but it would be a thoughtful thing for you to do as the host and stress about this for your guests, instead of leaving them to fend for their own.
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