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Hi! i have to wait about six months to see my FI again anyhow as he is in another country, well i get there a week before and i told him that there is nothing util the wedding night..... i was just wondering are any of you ladys waiting to make that night more special or does it even matter?
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We're definitely waiting. I said we'd stop a minimum of one month before, and I preferred 3 months. He was markedly not thrilled and thinks it won't make a bit of difference in how special it is. Luckily, he got a job 1100 miles away so we won't see each other again between now and the week of the wedding. It sucks, but no fighting about sex if we're too far away for it to be an issue.
It was really important to me to have that wait. I can't explain WHY, I just know it would take a lot of the special-ness out of it for me. I don't want this to be just another night, except in a fancy hotel room, you know? Guys don't seem to view it that way though. I wonder why such a difference?
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Everybody is different. It's not important to me and I'm not a guy :) We aren't doing any kind of hiatus -- I figured, eh, we never wanted to wait for sex until we were married in general, and going without will probably make me MORE stressed the week/month/whatever before our wedding, haha. I could see how to a lot of people taking a break would be very exciting and help them mark the occasion, but for us, it's a non-issue.
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We stopped the day after he proposed and are waiting until the wedding night.. so 6 months. I know it doesnt erase "not waiting" until marriage.. or other sins but I feel a little better about it.. plus I think it will make the night amazing.. kind of like rediscovering each other!
He wasnt thrilled, but has been completely supportive
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Ha, interesting topic! For me, sex is the way I feel connected in our relationship. Without it, I feel more like a live in friend. I'm afraid that if we took a hiatus, I'd feel really disconnected from him and stressed the week before our wedding!
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We stopped a year before the wedding. I'm not sure if it'll make it more "special" but with my health problems and crazy periods, I didn't want to even risk getting pregnant. I know he's REALLY looking forward to it. I think it'll be like it was when we first started dating--"like rabbits" at first, probably during our honeymoon, and then we'll taper off. It's not that there aren't other things you can do to keep your relationship going, but that's just one small facet of it. A lot of my friends took a break before their wedding and they all told me it was worth it.
We stopped 3 weeks before. I don't know if it made it more special, but it certainly made it easier to overcome our wedding night exhaustion!
he he he It is so true guys dont really like to have to wait ... my FI wanted to change my mind but .... im strong ladys 
by the time we get married it would be about 6 months of waiting and i know that the wed. night would be even more special to me... like mentioned ... we would be like rabbits... LOL!
I'm glad i'm not the only one too shy to mention that 
. YOu all know it's true...nobody wants to admit it though! LoL
My fiance and I are both virgins, so yes, we're waiting! And honestly, I want to wait until a little after that. With everything else going on then, I don't want it to be one more thing to cross off the list.
I wanted to stop three or four weeks before, but the most I could get him to agree to was 2!
We waited for about a month, and honestly, I wish we wouldn't have. I don't feel like it did anything for me besides make me more frustrated. But I'm not that patient, and I have a pretty high libido. I'm pretty sure that I would have wanted to do it just as much on the honeymoon if we hadn't waited. I was hoping it would make the wedding night more "special," but honestly, it wasn't any different than all the other times that we'd done it. And the wedding day was so good and so much fun that sex couldn't even compare to it.
Anyway, that's just my perspective. As someone who instituted this break before our wedding, I can see why other people might also like this idea and choose to go this route. And, for some people, I'm sure it does make the wedding night more "special."
We're planning not to have sex for 6 months before the wedding. This starts in a couple of weeks. I feel that it would make our wedding night more special and I think its a good thing that we get to express our love in different ways rather than having sex .
I got him to agree to not having sex for a month before the wedding. But he's definitely having his bachelor party before the month starts!
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Waiting.
We have both been in other relationships and intimacy is important. However, we think that waiting is the right thing to do. We've been waiting a year and will wait until our wedding night.
I am 31 and he is 35, so this is a big deal, but he wanted me to feel like he loves me for me and not because of sex. It is actually hard for me as I find sex to a natural action but I understand where he coming from. We didn't wait for anyone else, but we aren't just anyone else to each other.
We have a whole lifetime ahead of us, but you don't get to go back and work on emotional stuff. If you wait for the physical part you really cement the emotional part, and it's that kind of connection that will endure any hardship a relationship throws your way.
In theory, this sounds good but I don't know if I can do it. I'd like to at least give it up about two weeks before the wedding but I'm not so sure my FI will agree!
My FI informed ME that we would be taking a month long hiatus! I was surprised, but either way's fine with me. We'll see if we actually hold out. I'm thinking that there might be some stress that needs relieved in the weeks leading up to the wedding, but we'll see!
I want to do a 3 month break. We'll see how that goes. We're moving in together (well, moving to a different house, he practically lives with me now) in the beginning of June, which is right around the 3 month mark. So basically, we're going to try, but I'm not going to freak out if we slip up. Like caitlanc said, it is a stress reliever!
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As a virgin, I plan on waiting until my wedding night (for any type of sex). FI slept with one other person beofre we dated, but that was when he was a junior in high school. The third day I knew him, I told him that I was waiting until my wedding night.
We've now been together for 3.5 years, live together, and have 2 years until the wedding. It'll be the best night of my life and I cannot wait! The idea of being that close to someone is fantastic. I can't wait for the chance to connect on a new level.
Wow, I have admiration for all the ladies willing to wait! FI and I have no plans on waiting, we can sometimes go 2 weeks between sessions just cuz we both have busy schedules. I think that waiting for us, at least, will only lead to frustration. We have been on vacations together, and sex definitely increases while we're on vacation basicly because we're spending so much time together
I don't think we'll stop before the wedding.
Sex is an important part of our relationship, and I feel like I'll really need to feel that close to him right before the wedding. I know the days leading up to it will be a bit on the crazy side, and taking off for some intimacy will give us a break away from our families - some time just for the two of us.
And I don't think it will change anything afterwards - I'm still SO excited to sleep with my HUSBAND for the first time. :)
Great timing on the topic! We met with the priest a week or so ago, and it made use decided to stop 4 months before the wedding. Tonight is the last night!
I don't think either of us could stand a break from sex. I'd be way too stressed out. I just can't decide if we should spend the night before the wedding together? Or should I kick him out of our apt to stay with his friends? What do you guys think?
My friend did this for a whole YEAR before her wedding! They had been together 7 years by the time they got married, so they (more her than him I think) really wanted to do something to make the wedding night special. She said they had one "slip" during the year but that overall, she was really glad they did that because a) they got better at foreplay during that year and b) it really was exciting all over again to sleep with him for the "first" time on their wedding night!! If you can do it, I say go for it! Personally, we don't feel the need as much and honestly I don't even know if I will be able to stay awake to do the deed on our wedding night as it is, let alone if we quit cold turkey right now!!
My FI and I have been on a sex break since November 2008. We got engaed in February 2009, and we're continuing our sex hiatus till our wedding next February. I mostly did it for personal reasons (religious guilt - heh - and because I really want our wedding night to be special).
My FI and I are both virgins, and planning on waiting til the wedding. It's definitely been hard sometimes, but I'm looking forward to the first time being as husband and wife!
@ColorCoated - THATS will power! I can't imagine going to bed next to my FI every night!
wow! I thought I was alone in this! We both somehow agreed to stop 6 months before the wedding. It was mostly joking around at first, but I took it seriously eventually. Our 6 months have started and so far, no close calls yet! At times I worry about our down periods...but I'm sure that the 6-month break changes that!
We stopped about 6 months before our wedding both to make it more special during the honeymoon and to safeguard us from any "oopses" right before the wedding. I can tell you that our honeymoon was great! :) hehe
Okay, this is more of a curiousity thing than anything else, but all of you who are claiming to not have "sex" before the wedding, because you are either virgins, or are simply waiting for a said length of time, do you mean you are doing absolutely NOTHING sexual, or strictly no intercourse, but other things are allowed?
I have a friend of mine who is a "virgin" yet she has done everything except actually have intercourse.
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@fabulouslyengaged Great question! I was just wondering that myself, especially because I know people like your friend too.
Interesting topic!!
My FH and I have tentitively agreed on one month!
I think it is a very good idea :) Otherwise we will be so tired and we can't spend our first night married sleeping...atleast not right away!
For me, we just opted out of sex only. We'd been sleeping together for a few years (when we actually saw each other) but for a variety of reasons we decided to abstain from *only* intercourse for the 13 months leading up to the wedding. Easy to do when half of that time is during a deployment and the other half he lives 12 hours away =].
Honestly...it made us talk about how excited we'd be to do it again, and when push come to shove, looking back, who cares. lol. It didn't make it THAT much more thrilling I don't think. It was more uncomfortable than I remember, seeing as how you "fall out of shape" basically. So that was kind of like "oh crap" but hey, whaddaya expect. We have the rest of our lives to play twister.
Sorry if that's disappointing to some of you taking a "break" before your wedding. We just hyped up how great it'd be and patted ourselves on the back and all....and I'm not sure it was any *more* special at all. I certainly got pawed at a LOT more on our honeymoon than i otherwise do.
And yes, we got much better at foreplay which is super key.
Hopefully you all don't have parents who call you at 1230 am on your honeymoon night like mine did....
"EJs, where are the keys? why aren't you answering the phone?" GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I don't think we will wait, because when I travel for work or we're busy and don't get to it for a week or two (ok brutally honest here) it lasts um- not very long!!! He's always sorry and just says how excited he is, which is a great feeling, but I want the wedding night to last at least a little :) HAHA.
we're waiting 1 month... I don't really think it will make that big a difference honestly... But my FI was really into the idea and said he planned on stopping 1month before all along.
I hope none of you who claim to be virgins are getting married just for the sex!
I feel that sex is special with my fiance, no matter what day, time, location we are doing it in. I would never think about waiting, I think that would be frustrating, and literally, sex is a way to connect to that one person that you love on such a profound level. Sex is a great stress reliever, and for anyone getting married, that is a ton of help.
So my advice for all of you, (including the virgins) go grab your man and love him alllll night long! You will be grateful, and wont have to worry about having to muster the energy to have sex after the eventful wedding day!
We're waiting. Well...attempting to wait, haha. It's been well over a month since the last time and we're ah...not coping well. We don't see each other more than once or twice a week, and rarely have alone time, so whenever we get together it gets very teenage, very fast. We're not engaged yet; our waiting period could be anywhere from nine months to almost two years. Probably nine months. Hopefully nine months!
Sex is great and all, until you have a pregnancy scare and realize that A. you're not in a truly secure relationship before marriage, and B. running that risk at this time in your life is a bad, bad, bad idea.
Personally, I don't regret waiting a bit. It will make the wedding night that much more special, we will have experienced something that builds our intimacy (sexual and non) as a couple in different ways, and most importantly of all, I won't put myself in a position I don't want to be in. No pun intended. ;)
Fasting is purifying. I welcome the challenge.
We didn't take a break, and had more sex the two weeks before the wedding than an average two-weeks. It was great. For me it was really great to relieve the stress, to feel connected, and to feel like we were absolutely making the right choice. (I knew that anyway, but the dynamite sex really helped keep away those last-minute nerves!) In any event, I don't regret not taking a break at all, and I would highly recommend increasing the pre-wedding sex for anyone who's on the fence!
We were thinking about it, but I know I'll have enough stress (well, both of us will!) that I don't want to add sexual frustration to the list. :p
We are going to wait during the last 10 days...maybe!!!! 
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