Weddingbee boards

I was married yesterday!!  Hurray!  I wish I could share pro pics of my ceremony but my photographer did not show up until it was over. 

Our ceremony and reception were held at a historic home.  Our photography contract was for 7 hours of coverage (3-10pm).  The ceremony started at 5pm.  My girls and I arrived at the mansion at 3:00 to get ready.  The groom's entire family also showed up at 3:00, specifically to take formal portraits of the groom's side before the ceremony.  Our photographer didn't show up. 

From 3-5pm, EVERYONE frantically tried to contact the photographer and come up with Plan B.  I didn't even bring her phone number... for the price I paid, I assumed I was working with a professional.  My officiant had an iPhone and found her number on her website.  He called and the number was disconneted.  Our DJ called his contacts and again came up with the same disconnected phone number.  He also tried to find another photographer who could fill in last minute -- no luck.  Our caterer ran to the store to buy 10 disposable cameras so guests could at least capture some moments.  Someone emailed the photographer and she finally called back... she said she got food poisoning from the wedding the night before but she was feeling better and could come now. 

I understand that bad things happen, however, there was absolutely no communication on her part.  She never called -- instead, we had to hunt her down.  Her absence threw off the entire flow of the event.  Instead of relaxing and enjoying the day, we were forced to run around in a frenzy looking for a backup plan and wondering what went wrong.   Not knowing why she wasn't there was the worst torture.  I don't even know the full extent of what everyone else was doing to help -- they didn't want to worry me more than I already was.     

I will never have pro pics of my dress on the hanger, my shoes, or more importantly, happy bridesmaid helping me get ready.  I will never have a professional picture of my father walking me down the aisle on Father's Day.  I won't have pictures of my wedding party processional or the look on my husband's face when he saw me for the first time in my dress. 

Our photographer miraculously appeared 5 minutes before our ceremony ended.  She started snapping away but it was too late -- the marriage ceremony was the most important part to me.   What was lost I can never get back.   

 The rest of the night we were trying to cram everything in that we missed in the 2.5 hours that she was MIA.  We had to do all of the family photos during cocktail hour -- it was so hard to coordinate because this wasn't the original plan.   

The total cost for 7 hours of photography was $3,600.  Her rate includes the service and digital negatives, no albums.  I paid half in advance and was supposed to pay the balance on the wedding day.  I told her I could not pay the balance and would settle this later -- it was just too heart-breaking to deal with on my wedding day.   

 I am deeply saddened by the situation.  I had a happy wedding surrounded by my family and friends -- that part was wonderful!  I'm just sick over not having photographs to remember it by.  I couldn't sleep because after it was all over, I couldn't stop thinking about how devastating this was. 

 I don't know what to do now.  It's a 1 in a million chance and I still can't believe it happened to me.  I want my money back -- in my opinion, I didn't get what I paid for.  I still "owe" money -- she has some photos of the reception.  What's fair in this situation? 

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I make an appointment to meet with her. You flat out under no circumstances should pay her the balance. What she did was breech of contract. If she starts making a fuss about it I would start throwing around the terms better business bureau, local news station human interest story and law suit. I would then ask for the pictures she did take and at least a portion of the deposit if not the entire deposit returned to you. If she refuses, I would follow through with the threats. And honestly, as much as she doesn't want a law suit, she doesn't want negative publicity even more, so the first call I would make would be to your local news affiliate. And then I would post her name on your local here and at the Knot, regardless of whether or not she refunds your money. And then *I* would slash her tires, but that's just me... Good luck and congratulations on your wedding!

Thanks for all the encouragement!!

I checked the contract and it states:

"In the unlikely event that the photographer is injured or becomes too ill to photograph the event, [name of photographer] will make every effort to secure a replacement photographer.  If the situation should occur and a suitable replacement is not found, responsibility and liability is limited to the return of all payments received for the event package."

 I'm leaving for my honeymoon in a few hours!  I will finish dealing with this when I return -- I'll give an update in a week!

wanted to add one more thing!

from this point forward, i would communicate through mail only. This way you have a paper trail, and she knows you are serious about taking her to small claims court if need be.

I would make the first communication a letter addressing every specific clause in the contract that she broke, what the contract outlined as the repercussions of that, and what you want from her (refund, digital files taken) to settle it.

I would rationally outline in a few sentences the impact that this had on your wedding and explain emotional damages that you and your guests suffered.

THEN i would send this letter through certified mail -- again, she will know that you are very serious and you will have no doubts that she received it.

I have had very few instances of unpaid bills as a freelancer that weren't solved through a stern certified letter! 

It's been a few weeks and the dust has settled...

After the honeymoon, I contacted the photographer and asked what she thought we should do in this situation.  She wrote a very long, heart-felt apology and took responsibility for 100% of her actions.  I believe in her sincerity.  She also agreed to not collect any more money from us... effectively a 50% discount in her services.  I was satisfied with the compromise.  The photos were proofed quickly and available about 2 weeks after the wedding.  Many of them are gorgeous!

I've tried to put the initial disappointment of this behind me.  I've accepted this situation as one of those things that was out of my control.  It still makes me sad to think about it.  Now that the photos are back, I realize that we missed some pretty important shots (other than getting ready and the ceremony!)  In all of the confusion and chaos of the day, we never took a picture of the entire bridal party.  We had a small wedding party -- only 2 BMs and 2 GMs... not too many people to coordinate IMO.  We have pics of the girls and the guys separately, but none with the full bridal party.  My 5-yr old neice was the flower-girl.  There are a few cute pics of her alone but I wish she was included with the girls.  We didn't get any posed pictures with the bride and the flowergirl together.  Even in an ideal situation I realize there would always be photos that I wished I had, but these seem so basic.  I feel so let down by the whole experience. 

 On the brighter side, our officiant was given a disposable camera and took some really unique photos of the processional -- those can't be beat!  Other guests have shared their photos too... there are a few hidden gems among the multitude!

One more thing...

I'm not angry with the photographer.  I really liked her before the wedding and in a strange way, I still like her.  My husband and I decided not to disclose the photographer's name in any public forums because we understand how delicate this type of publicity could be for her career.  I honestly believe this was an isolated case, not a reflection of how she conducts business typically.    

It's difficult to describe how it felt to be in this situation on my wedding day.  I was too excited to finally be getting married that I was incapable of being angry with one person that was missing.  (I've faced much bigger problems in life, even in the last year!)  I was deeply saddened and disappointed but it didn't ruin my day.  Lots of stuff went wrong all around me but I was still happy. 

I was still incredibly hurt by someone I trusted.  The fact that I was willing to pay that much of my hard-earned money meant I trusted her A LOT.  It's always more painful when you get hurt by someone you trust.  I hope the sadness goes away in time.

At times, I still feel like something is missing.  We never had engagement pictures taken because money was tight at the time.  We were hoping to have great wedding photography.  When I look at the photos now, I still feel some of the sadness and awkwardness that was present on that day.  My husband and I talked about having some post-wedding-engagement photos taken to make up for what we lost.  At least it would give us a chance to have some nice pictures taken when we're not wearing fancy clothes that make us feel a bit silly!