Post # 1
I have been working for my company for 12 years. I’m getting married on Sunday, and I’m the only person in my company who hasn’t had a shower. It’s Wednesday, and I’m off until after my wedding. People get multiple showers for having 1st, 2nd and 3rd children. We throw “man showers.” We send flowers to those who have lost grandparents. My sister died last year…nothing. Is this a sign or something?
Post # 3
I’m sorry! I know that no one is entitled to a shower, but it is odd that they throw so many showers and haven’t thrown you one. You say they do a lot of baby showers… do they also do bridal?
Is the person who normally organizes the showers really busy this season? If its one person who really loves to throw showers, they might just be off their game. They also might not feel like its appropriate if they aren’t invited to the wedding? Honestly, there could be 1000 reasons that don’t involve how much your coworkers like you. But, it would make me pretty self concious.
If it really bothers you, you could ask your closest girlfriend in the office “hey, I know we normally throw showers, and since i didn’t have one I want to make sure that I haven’t offended anyone.” I would never ask my boss that question… or anyone I wasn’t SUPER close to.
Post # 4
If you feel that you are the only one who doesn’t get the appreciation/condolences that others get, then there is probably a reason…sorry to say.
Have they ever done something in your honor? Birthday, anything?
I wouldn’t say anything, it will just make it more awkward. Don’t let this ruin your wonderful wedding weekend though!
Post # 5
They barely acknowledged my wedding at work even though they were all invited (not a single person showed up).
My manager, who had been there for two months when she got married, got twice as many gifts as I did.
It stung, but I’m moving on.
Post # 6
Are you the one who normally does the organizing?
Post # 7
I’d ask someone you trust, someone close to you at work. Like the other bee mentioned, ask if you’ve offended someone. I would have said, maybe it was a mixup, planner was busy, maybe they do baby showers and not bridal showers or something. But if you lost your sister and it’s their tradition to do something for people who lost someone AND now they’ve not acknowledged your wedding…I can see why you’re concerned. Don’t get me wrong – you can’t expect someone to celebrate you. But if you’re the only one being left out of office traditions, that’s a little odd. Sorry. 🙁 Hope you figure it out. Congrats on the wedding! 🙂
Post # 8
Well, if everyone is invited to the wedding, they will all be celebrating with you/giving gifts at that time. With a baby, people aren’t present at the birth, presumably, so offices throw showers to give you gifts. You mentioned they throw showers for people having children, has anyone else ever had a shower for their wedding. You may not actually be left out.
Post # 9
Have they thrown other bridal showers? Or just baby showers? Are you inviting the co-workers to your wedding?
Post # 10
We actually just had a “man shower” not 30 minutes ago. When I began working here, there were 13 of us. We’re up to 65. I have the 2nd longest tenure. They do baby showers, wedding showers and send flowers for deceased relatives. I have organized one for someone who was in my department. That’s typically how it’s done. The department organizes it, gets contributions from the other departments in secret and the entire company attends. It’s typically held at 3PM in a conference room. My manager, his manager and several additional colleagues know about my wedding. Some folks are invited to the wedding, but it’s not like I’m inviting all 65 people. I had a baby shower 7 years ago. Did I answer all of the questions?
Post # 11
I’ve never seen a bridal shower at work.
Post # 12
My coworkers threw my shower two days before I left for my wedding. I was absolutely thinking the same thing, but they threw me a lovely party and gave me a very generous gift.
Post # 13
I could have written this myself. Everyone else has had wedding/baby showers and I am the only one who hasn’t. I’ve worked at my company for 4 years, people who had been here less than me got them. Flowers for deaths…sure, for everyone else. For me? Nope.
I cried on my way home the last day of work before the wedding, feeling unappreciated.
Some of my coworkers (my dept, a close friend, and my boss) were invited to the wedding, and we’re all close at work so everyone knew about it.
I’ve just forgotten about it, but trust me, I’m not the first to jump on planning someone else’s event now.
Post # 14
I’d just ignore it. I didn’t have a single wedding shower/bachelorette party/anything. Not from work, family, friends, etc. It didn’t bother me.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Who is it that usually plans these types of things? Is it one person, or do different people take it on each time.
More than likely, it’s just an oversight and you shouldn’t read into it.
Post # 16
@juliette.eliza: It’s someone or a couple of people from your department. I swear to you, it’s no oversight. Perhaps I should really just take this as a final clue that I need to depart after my 12 year service with the company.