(Closed) No Shows at the Wedding and Reception

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I can understand your frustration for sure, but what exactly do you expect to gain by approaching these people?  An apology?  That won’t make you feel any better… and you’re not going to get money from them or anything.

 

I’d just let it go unfortunately.

Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just let it go. Chalk it up to poor social skills on their part, there is no need to find out the reason, it will just make you feel worse.

Post # 6
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Dang, that would really irk me too. I feel like that’s one of those situations where I would write each person a really rude letter…and then shred those letters and try to not think about it anymore.

Post # 7
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldn’t make a point of finding out why they didn’t show up, but if they tried to talk to you or be friends then I would definetly ask what happened.

Post # 8
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

We had six no shows. I didn’t ask these people why. Two were my cousins who didn’t come because we didn’t allow them to bring their kids even though they RSVP’d yes. No apologies from them. The next couple didn’t show because their kid was sick. They use this excuse ALL the time. Whatever, at least they reached out over FB to let me know AFTER the wedding. They were the only ones. The last couple just didn’t show and I haven’t heard from them since. it’s been 3 years. I think they were mad they couldn’t bring their children as well. They RSVP’d yes though. I’m most hurt but this one because we traveled and gave a big cash gift for their wedding. IDK… I didn’t go out of my way to contact any of these people. I was pissed to lose a huge chunk of change and also hurt that they would do that to us.

Post # 9
Hostess
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Yes it is rude but sometimes things happen. I wouldn’t approach anyone about a no show to be honest.

We had a few and only one of them had a genuine last minute emergency, the others just didn’t bother to come. One of my DH’s co-workers actually took a half day from work to go to the wedding and never showed up. Every time my DH mentions the wedding around this guy he gets really defensive but has yet to offer any explanation or apology. We are still frustrated because he had other co-workers that wanted to go that would have been more than happy to take his seat, even at the last moment.

 

Post # 10
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not sure contacting them would do any good or make you feel better (as previous PPs have said), but I would take note and treat them as they have treated you.  

Post # 11
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Treejewel19:  how weird!  And such a bummer that the others couldn’t attend because of him  =o(

Post # 13
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Imhisbride:  First off I am sooooo sorry this happened to you.  It totally sucks !!

To answer your Question…

If I let it go and not talk to them, where does that leave my relationship with these people anymore???

NO WHERE…

Unless someone has the courtesy to give you an explanation… BEFORE the event… UNLESS they were in a life-threatening situation (for them or an immediate family member)

Then consider the relationship over… from a “socializing” point of view.  Considering you got left holding the bag (and plates of ordered not eaten food, drinks, decorations, etc) You do not ever owe these folks an invite to anything else in the future.

Sad, but true, some people have no manners, class etc.

Post # 16
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I understand your frustration, but deleting them off of FB/your phone seems like more effort than it’s worth.

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