How do I tell my guest I dont want them posting pictures of my wedding on Facebook/ twitter/ Instagram without my permission? I dont want to be rude but i also dont want a bad photo of me on my wedding day floating around the social media world. I would like to be the one to post pictures of my wedding when I choose to share it with those who wasnt able to make it.
@RaysBride89: Not really sure there's a socially acceptable way of doing this. Seems little over controlling I think.
It almost reminds me of the recent Beyonce issue where she wanted a picture removed from the internet. There are some things about your wedding you won't have control over.
I don't think you can. But I would hope that people wouldn't post a bad picture of you. People usually post pictures of themselves all dressed up.
Our officiant made an announcement before the ceremony processional started to not take pictures - that we wanted our guests to be there, in the moment with us, not worried about getting the perfect picture - that we had hired professionals to take care of that. I liked that people were in the moment with us rather than taking pictures, and it did prevent ceremony pictures from going on social media, though that wasn't the goal. All the reception pictures people posted were beautiful, and I hate pictures of myself.
Actually a bride from here just did that... I need to find the post, it was super tasteful. It was on a chalkboard and said something like "Please respect this intimate moment by not posting to social media sites."
I have seen signs on Pinterest about having an 'Unplugged Wedding' asking guests to please not use cell phones and cameras during the ceremony, which I think is a more than reasonable request...but I wouldn't extend it to the reception. I think people may want to take pictures of themself with friends or whatnot... I know I would never post a bunch of pictures from someone else's wedding...maybe just of friends or one thing I found especially pretty or fun looking.
@suburbian: How is it "over controlling" if its something I dont want done at MY event. I dont think its controlling at all. Its a wish of mine and i hope if i find a nice way to put it people would respect it.
Its like saying no kids are allowed.. or its a formal affair... but just don't post pictures of me on facebook without my permission or before I do
Nothing Bridezilla about it ... ive seen pics end up on Facebook before the groom even had time to see his bride.
I like the chalkboard idea and its easy enough to remind your bridal party
Im not asking for people to not take photos at all! I just dont want them of me without my permission or without me posting them first.. thats all i dont think thats much to ask for. Ive been to weddings and of course i took photos of my fiance and i because we were dressed up and who doesnt like a photo when theyre dressed up.. i also took pictures of the bride but never posted them on a social media site without her permission... not saying people cant take photos.. i just dont want them on facebook or instagram
@cantonbride: Okay..
As an adult, would you come to a formal wedding in a casual outfit? I dont think so..
But does that make me controlling because Im requesting you to wear something formal?
@RaysBride89: who tells people what to wear? ive never been told what to wear to a wedding
HEre you go, found it on Pinterest. You 100% percent have every right to ask. It's not fair that we're expected to be exposed all over the Internet just because its available to us 24/7. I personally find it super rude and could see why you would want to do this!
Yes yes yes yes! The chalkboard was perfect. Its in the link the op posted on this thread.
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/post-a-link-to-the-most-beautiful-wedding-youve-ever-sawstalked
Sorry not sure how to hyperlink it from my tablet.
@RaysBride89: as an adult I would know not to come for a formal wedding in a casual outfit without being told. But ultimately if I did, that would be my problem.
there's a fine line between how many requests you can make and what kind before people perceive you as controlling. I think this is crossing the line. Asking people not to bring kids is regulating your guest list which you have a right to do. But telling people how to act and how to enjoy themselves is not the same thing.
I'm not sure how much you'll be able to control others from posting on their social media sites, but I would makes sure your settings on FB are such that if someone tries to tag you in a photo (whereby it will show up on your FB page), you have to approve the photo first.
Wow this got heated quick. OP, I don't think there is anything wrong with your request. You are well within your rights to request an unplugged ceremony and ask that guests don't post pictures of YOU. You can't stop them from taking pictures and posting themselves, but I'd just word somehow that you "want to be the first to share your wedding pictures on social media to please refrain from sharing until we do."
@deetroitwhat: just because it's on a chalk board and in cute font doesn't make it ok. sorry.
I think you have to be very careful about this. You can totally get away with doing an unplggeed ceremony but I wouldn't try to extend it to the reception. I mean candid pictures are part of life. I think you're probably a very nice woman and I'm afraid it would look vain to make a big deal about only wanting "pretty" pictures.
I plan to have a pic sharing site for guests and on the program somewhere gonna mention the photographer and her site, I want her photos to get first credit. I feel like as soon as the public sees all the cell phone pics uploaded right there from the wedding, then it makes the pro photos become a little devalued from the public perspective.
This site is meant to be so you can run ideas past other adults who are doing the same thing you are (planning a wedding). This is so you can ask advice.
I did not say my statement to be offensive. I just said that you trying to tell people what they can and can't post to a social site will be difficult without appearing as overcontrolling. I am sorry if you do not like the fact but regardless of how 'tasteful' you word it I would be offended.
I can't take pictures of me and my SO all dressed up at a beautiful event and show people how much fun I was having? I am not evena social media queen and barely post to my own page - but 'telling' me I can't would seem weird...or off to me.
Did you know there's a setting on Facebook so you have to approve tags? Your friends could post to their page but they couldn't link it to your page.
Secondly, I'd ask people not to take any pictures during the ceremony.
@Ashley_P: & Thats how I feel as well.. I paid too much for my photographer for his work to not be noticed.. Lol
@Meowkers: I don't care if it's on the invitation, written on napkins, or put on a program in crayon.
It is ABSOLUTELY okay for you to ask that your image not be put on a social media website without your permission. Sorry.
@suburbian: & i think thats where you misunderstood me. maybe i wasnt clear.. i would never tell people they cant take photos.. i live with my iphone in my hand and im always snapping a pic. I just dont want photos of me on my wedding day floating around.. thats all.
I really feel the same way but I don't think I'm going to ask. Just seems super controlling. Of course I'd bet $100 the only one that's going to do it is my super obnoxious mother. :/
You could make it so that people can't tag you in photos when you get married.
ok i tried to step away from this post. really. but i just want to chime in again. If the reason you don't want people sharing your picture on facebook is because you think it devalues your professional pictures to the rest of the world then I think you are operating under the mistaken assumption that the rest of the world cares about your professional wedding pictures.
This isn't Beyonce's wedding we're taking about. No one is sitting by their computer and anxiously waiting to see your professional pictures. The only people who value those pictures are you, your husband and your parents. Everyone else on social media will respond exactly the same to your pictures regardless of whether they are professional photos or from a cell phone. They's say "oh look Jane got married. what a pretty bride." and then they'll scroll down their news feed and never thinking about it again.
I think the only way you can do this without seeming like a bridezilla is to not invite guests to your wedding.
I have to fully disagree that having other photos posted before your pro ones "devalues" the pro photos. I always love it when people post their pro photos and fully stalk people's pics even if I havent spoken to them in years, ha! These pictures are clearly far superior to guest photos.
@Meowkers: If the reason you don't want people sharing your picture on facebook is because you think it devalues your professional pictures to the rest of the world then I think you are operating under the mistaken assumption that the rest of the world cares about your professional wedding pictures.
This isn't Beyonce's wedding we're taking about. No one is sitting by their computer and anxiously waiting to see your professional pictures.
+5000
@RaysBride89: I am on the same wave length as you. I don't see it as controlling at all & I second the chalkboard message or the officiate making an announcement beforehand so people don't go nuts tweeting and facebooking pics of you. I'm probably going to be the same way because I can see my FMIL doing this. Seriously anytime there's an event going on she's constantly live updating fb with pictures and videos! Let them know they can take and upload pictures of themselves all they want, but that you'd like to be the one to post your own pictures of yourself. I see nothing wrong with that.
@Meowkers: IDK about the OP's motivation, but I'm a freak and really just don't like pics of myself period. I have a lot of pics on FB and I'm not saying they're great or anything but every single time people post one of me, I hate it. But I've definitely blocked people from tagging me without permission. Of course it still shows up on their wall, but I guess that's okay.
A wedding is just so personal. I feel myself being very private about it. I rarely talk about it with people that aren't my best friends or close family. I'd just hate to share it on FB in a big big way.
@RaysBride89: I have seen this on Pinterest that you could up a sign at your ceremony. It is a nice way to let guests know that you don't cameras or phones, just a thought.
Not quite sure why this has to even be an issue. If someone requests that you DO NOT uplaod pictures of them to facebook, that should be an easy enough request to follow.
That doesn't make them a bridezilla. That doesn't make them "controlling". They just don't want their pictures uploaded onto the internet for the whole freaking world to see.
A wedding is a special thing. Guests should feel honored and special to be there. Once it hits the entire social media circuit, a bit of that magic and intimacy is lost. Forever.
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Here's a tangent question: Let's say your best friend (or sister) just gave birth to a baby. You quickly scoot over there and take pictures. She asks you NOT to upload pictures of her child to facebook. Do you comply or just think "Screw her. She's being UNREASONABLE" and upload the pics anyway?
Just food for thought.
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