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I have a question for the Hive. It is okay to not put a stamp on the RSVP in an invitation? My mom has heard this is now acceptable because of the rising price of stamps. But she heard from someone else this is only acceptable if there is an email reply option. What do you think? Is this okay?
Hmmm... I've never heard this but it sure would have saved us some money. Especially since people keep calling with their reply instead of mail the dang card...
I would stamp the envelope for older guests (over 50 and sticklers for old school tradition) and include an email/website RSVP option for the younger guests.
I was invited to a wedding and there was no stamp on the reply envelope. I found it to be in poor taste. There are a lot of etiquette rules that you can bend, though, and this might one that is changing. I would only suggest doing it if you have a web RSVP option; however, if that is the case, why include reply cards at all?
You will risk leaving a bad taste in some guests' mouths, though, if you don't inlclude the stamp, so maybe you could put stamps on those who will not be comfortable doing a web RSVP?
Finally, it's been pointed out on the boards that even the reply card is not traditional etiquette because good manners dictates that you must reply in writing to a formal written invitation!
Hhhmmmm ... I'm still all about making the wedding easy for guests! That means a stamp in my book ... but that's just my opinion. I think if you are going to go the route of email/website RSVP then it is okay, but if you expect them to send it back to you, then I would put the stamp.
I agree that if there is an option to RSVP electronically or over the phone explicitly stated on te RSVP card, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's a good idea to include the stamps. It's hard enough to get people to return RSVPs when there are stamps on them! This would just be another excuse to procrastinate or forget to mail it back in on time.
I think that if you want people to mail you RSVPs, you need to put the stamp on them. If the only option is online and you add cards for the people without internet access, those should be stamped. I wouldn't offer a lot of options: you either RSVP online or you RSVP by mail. It makes it easier to make sure you're not counting people twice.
Reply stamps are a relatively low cost for the wedding. I know every bit adds up, but as mary-alice-me noted, you don't want to leave guests with a bad taste in their mouths. It's under $50 for 100 invites--even less if you do RSVP postcards.
I would include the stamp. This is going to cost you maybe $50 total! If you believe that etiquette is about thinking of your guests and trying to make things both easy and pleasant for them, then you include a stamp. If you really want people to RSVP by phone or email, just don't include an RSVP card at all. That would actually be a more significant cost savings, if the money is really a concern - not including an RSVP card, the RSVP envelope, and the stamp probably saves you more like $2 - $3 per guest.
In non-bride mode, I rarely mail things -- I pay bills online, I send emails, etc. As a result, I rarely have stamps on hand. If I received a response card with no stamp on the envelope, it would probably go in a to do pile. It would almost certainly take me longer to send the rsvp back.
I agree that unless you have an online option clearly indicated on the response, you should include a stamp.
If you make it easy for them (ie include stamps) you may actually get more responses. We decided to forgo them after hearing about how so many people on our guest list would likely forget them anyways. So our options are a) the knot's list or b) call us. But if it isn't easy for them to RSVP, you know it'll end up in a pile on the kitchen table.
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You should definitely include the stamp. I am not someone who mails stuff often so I never even have stamps so its quite a hassel to go the post office to buy one when I could just stick it in the mail.
Buy the "Forever" stamps before the price changes. If you buy them at their current price, even when the stamp prices goes up, they are still good to use and you dont have to add the difference. AND if you are doing postcard RSVP's, the price is cheaper overall.
I'm feeling you bees on this one. If I got an RSVP card that didn't have a stamp, there is no guarantee it would ever go out the door! And I'm really looking forward to getting those little cards back in the mail, so I think I'll skip the email response. I was more curious if this is a sign of changing times than a way to save money (as many have pointed out - there are a lot of ways to save more money!) Keep those opinions coming!
Put a stamp on it. In the grand scheme of how much you are spending give the post office a few dollars and remember it isn't going to make or break you.
I had a slight issue putting stamps on my rsvps as well! My fiance is from the UK so half of the invites are international. I went to the post office to figure out the best way to do this. The postman said that I would have to purchase international redeemable stamp coupons which meant that the English Post office would have to take these in exchange for stamps. Meaning basically that all the guest would have to get to the post office anyway. MY FI's parents said that is not traditional to put stamps on return address envelopes so I shouldnt bother with the coupon. Besides, who wants to stick an ugly post office coupon in their beautiful invitation? Right choice?
I think that you need to put a stamp on the RSVPs. Not only is it more convenient for the guests you're inviting- but it is also goign to make your life easier. This way you are able to keep track of the number of people who are actually attending. Without the stamp, it is more likely that they will neglect to send it out on time, or even at all. Stamps are only increasing by $.02 on May 11th. The extra dollars you have to hand over won't be that substantial...
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I have gotten wedding invites that ask us to RSVP online, which I think is a sign of the changing times. But I agree with many of the above that if I received an RSVP card with no stamp I would think it was in slightly poor taste.
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Just got a stampless RSVP card yesterday! How timely. I think that times are changing especially now after seeing how many comments this post has garnered. My first response to the relatively traditional invite that arrive with a reply card AND ENVELOPE but no stamp was shock. Especially knowing the relative formality of the event. The website was listed on the RSVP, so I deduced that it was a subtle hint to reply online, but I am in the full throws of wedding planning - most people are not and probably would assume that they should use the provided envelope and reply with their own stamps. Personally, I don't think wedding invites are the place for sublte hints.
I agree with the other posts that RSVP method should be clear - either be traditional and include a stamped envelope or be non-traditional and non-confusing; make the website the only option. Not only does this make things clear for your guests, you won't have to keep track of two systems.
On a personal note, we've decided to go with exclusively online RSVPs. This is not because stamps would break the bank but because it's a nice way to cut down on the carbon footprint. We think it fits in with our semi-relaxed DIY invitation and does not send mixed messages about our "green" Vermont wedding.
Again, in my opinion, consistency is key and it is part of ettiquette too. Pick a method and stick to it. Other thoughts?
Wow, I must say I'm a bit surprised people have such strong opinions about stamps! My fiance and I just finished doing all our invites today and we went stampless on our RSVP cards. I never thought it would be a big deal and I hope our families are laid back enough not to think it's poor taste. I think that as long as you give alternative options (phone, email, website) it's acceptable to leave the stamp off.
For us, we sent out save the dates a while back with a link to our wedding website and we've gotten a lot of hits. I think most of our guest list has already seen the website and a little over 20 guests (out of 120) have already RSVP'd online before even getting the actual invite. Since we put our website address on the bottom of the RSVP cards we chose not to add stamps. It seems a bit silly to me to add stamps when people have already RSVP'd, we think most of our guests would choose online over paper anyway, and we're on a very tight budget. But that's just my 42 cents :)
I sent RSVP postcards without stamps because I wanted people to RSVP on the website. I included that info on the postcard and only included them for the few people who wouldn't know how to do it or just didn't have internet/computers. We recieved aroun 15 back out of the nearly 100 sent with most guests RSVPing online. So it worked out well for us and I didn't waste what little money we had on stamps that didn't get used. If you know certain guests don't have access to internet or they are into doing things traditionally than I'd include a stamp for them on theirs. I'd also say that if you are having a total formal wedding than stamps should be included but if you are having a low budget, laid back or intimate wedding than I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just do what suits your needs, after all it is your day and you can't make everyone happy. What matters is that YOU are happy with your wedding.
sorry but that's not okay. stamps are on the increase--but its just a couple of cents. in the grand scheme of thing its not that much.
for the sake of your guests! please put a stamp on it! 
We are not going to put stamps on our RSVP cards. But we do have a website, and a phone number. The save the date cards had the website info on it, so people have already started RSVPing even though the formal invitation has not gone out yet.
I once received an invitation that held a stamp-less RSVP envelope and I know it's a terrible ettiquete sin, but it took me about 3 weeks to finally get a stamp to put on that sucker and get it in the mail. Just sheer laziness. I'm sure there were many other guests who were just as lazy as me, too.
So, I'm definitely pro-stamp-on-the-RSVP. It helps to deter procrastination by people like me.
Definitely include the stamp...I'm not one for wedding tradition, but if I'm a stickler for anything, it would be that!
We are including the stamp on our RSVP postcards. I think this helps the guest out that all they have to do is fill it out and mail it. I too do everything online, but there are still some people who don't. I don't have stamps on hand either, but I did go and buy the Forever stamps now, so I saved a couple of cents before they go up in May. If you do buy stamps, do the Forever stamps and I would get them before the price increase.
I cant even believe it would cross your mind to invite people to your wedding and reception, and be so cheap not to put a stamp on the rsvp? Sorry if "cheap" offends anyone, but really is there another word for it? You dont invite people to come to a wedding and reception and not shell out money for the stamp. Unless you are doing strictly online rsvp's it is my opinion, poor taste.
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Okay, I gotta chime in and say that Miss Manners (who I've recently decided is the be all end all of etiquette -- she's so cheeky!) would be aghast at this conversation. From what I gather, RSVP cards -- and their stamped envelopes -- came around in the '80s or 90s -- so they aren't really 'traditional'. As far as etiquette goes they are not considered truly proper. Instead, people are supposed to put "RSVP" in the bottom corner of the invitation, and the recipients are supposed to write back using their own stationary (and stamps).
Oh, the silly research I have done.... Somebody's gotta stop me......
Agreed with bluegreenjean. Why don't you set up an online option? We sent out stamped cards and are now SO annoyed because 2/3 of our guests still haven't responded (5 days before the deadline!), or they've emailed us or rsvped via word-of-mouth through other people. I think an online choice would eliminate the need for a stamp.
Agreed with amysue with the online option as well! We've only gotten about half the cards back (five days till the 'respond by' date). I wish we'd just asked people to respond by email and provided our addresses. We wouldn't have gotten that many fewer responses most likely, and we could have saved some money (cards, envelopes and stamps) and effort (calligraphy).
I've even been good about sending out my thank you notes immediately after receiving gifts, but I'm going to have to start sending thank you emails right away, too. People have been confused by my not emailing them to let them know the gift arrived.
The days of pretty stationary are slipping away. Next to go will be the books. (the lone tear is trailing down my face....)
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i would buy the forever stamps and stick it on the reply card. I wouldnt send the rsvps without a stamp
Reading all of these make me kind of upset...some of my RSVP envelopes extras that did not have stamps got mixed in with those that I was SUPPOSED to use and so some people didn't get RSVP envelopes with stamps...
To automatically assume its in bad taste - or they are cheap - or otherwise is rather assumptive... perhaps they just forgot or it was a mistake!!!!
I considered including a stamp, but not sticking it on the envelope. I hate waste, and I have called to RSVP at friends weddings more times then I have sent it in the mail. Also for those who are not going to come. At least then they can use the stamp. Yes I am weird.
I was told that you have to put a stamp on the RSVPs. I grumbled about it and tried to find other options, but in the end I'm glad I went with that, otherwise I"m not sure that I would have gotten many responses. A few people did hand them back or tell me in person that they were coming, but the majority mailed theirs. And I did postcards so it ended up being less for stamps.
I always find the whole rsvp thing funny. I'm going to put stamps on mine (and even get Canadian postage for the invites going to Canada). HOWEVER, traditional ettiquette would never have even considered an RSVP card. Guests knew that they were to write a handwritten formal note of acceptance of such a formal invitation. (All ladies of the house had formal stationary exactly for this purpose.) I think that as the formal rules became more lax and brides and other hosts wanted a reply, they made it easier for the guests by including the card (and hence a stamp). If you think about it, if you're invited a to a kid's party, you would RSVP. Then it moved to "regrets only" for certain events.
I would do stamps, just because I probably wouldn't even look for them and assume it was there, and then you'd never get my RSVP.
I put postage on ally my response cards esxcept for foreign ones, since I couldn't get those stamps and we only have a few.
I'm not sure about the e-mail reply rule but whenever I get one and it has no stamp I get peeved...and it takes me longer to send in then because it goes into my purse so I can get a stamp then I forget about it...and well you know. I wouldn't think it was cheap or anything, I just like it for convienence.
I just realized as I was looking for Wedding Stamps that I sealed all the nicely addressed invitations without the stamps on the response cards. So, fiance and I are going to try to steam them open to place the stamps on but are now trying to rationalize NOT incuding the stamps on some of them. I only have about 30 extra outer envelops so that leaves 33. We are also thinking of handwriting the email address of our website for the reply as well.
We also had to do another supposed no-no - we had to put labels on the response envelop as the pre-printed nice envelops were ordered in August and we realized we had to move in October so will not be at the same address. ARGH!
So, I would rather go with the other person above that said don't always ASSUME the worst of the bride, but sometimes mistakes happen!
Keeping on the stamp topic.. is it OK to hand deliver save the dates to close friends (to save money on stamps) or still worth putting in the mail?
My friend didnt have a stamp on hers but she had the option of stamping yourself or emailing her
I don't trust people to rsvp without it!! Plus i made custom stamps with our e-pics.
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