no strings attached affairs with married men

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m confused… what kind of an affair involves no sex?

Emotional affairs can turn physical fairly easily.

My thoughts are that this is playing with fire. And of course he has no connection with his wife… that’s what they all say!


Post # 5
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I’d say if there really was “no connection, no love, no intimacy” he wouldn’t still be married.  


There’s no such thing as a no-strings-attached affair.  Affairs by definition are all about strings (that’s what makes it an affair, he has too many strings).  


That being said, it’s never a good idea, under any circumstances. 

ETA: Oral sex IS sex. 

Post # 6
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s wrong, and I have a hard time believing oral sex wouldn’t lead to intercourse at some point.

Post # 8
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Omg what kind of person would do that. That’s disgusting

Post # 9
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@sesame:  I say if he is unhappy in his marriage then he should leave it.

I don’t judge the non-married participant but I do judge the hell out of someone that cheats on their partner.

Post # 10
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldn’t, because this type of situation can only end badly. There are inevitable hurt feelings that are going to happen and it is best to get away while you still can and there are not emotions complicating things.

However, one side of the coin says that it is his marriage, not yours, to respect/disrespect and therefore in his court.

But, I don’t know what my feelings would be on a man who was clearly discontented in his marriage and not taking strides to make the situation right, like counseling or a divorce. Having an affair is a cop out in my book because it is a clear symptom of a not-good relationship situation and it is an act that only makes the situation worse. That is the part that makes me loose respect for people who have affairs.

Bottom line IMO is that it is best to steer completely clear


Post # 11
9652 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is wrong on both sides! You are setting yourself up for heartbreak….. And why is this man even married?? 

I think he might be telling you what you want to hear…… Run run run the other direction!!!! 

Pretty sure this thread isn’t gonna end well……. You are on a weddingsite asking if cheating is ok????? 

Post # 12
3433 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

@sesame:  Yes, he could.  Most people in this kind of a sitaution are full of it. If there was truly no connection, he wouldn’t stay with her.  He has a reason to stay (whatever it may be) and that means he has strings, and it’s no longer a no-strings-attached affair. 

Post # 13
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

Your other thread was about a third date. This is a wedding forum, perhaps a different forum would be a better fit for you.

I have no pleasant things to say about knowingly participating in an affair, someone is getting cheated on.

Post # 14
515 posts
Busy bee

@sesame:  i would think he was a lying POS. he wants to use you for connection and love? nope. the fact that you said it would involve oral sex raises a huge red flag. sounds like his wife does not want to give him oral and he is looking for it elsewhere. he is not interested in any “connection” except the connection that would bring your mouth to his package. sorry if this sounds harsh, but you WILL end up hurt and he would be the only one that would benefit from this situation. disgusting. dont do this to yourself. you deserve more

ETA: Oral sex IS sex and if yourself admit to seeking out toxic relationships then it’s time to take a break from dating and perhaps seek a counselor.


Post # 15
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@MrsN14:  agreed.

Why would any woman be willing to form a bond with such a decrepit human being? Yuck.

Post # 16
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@sesame:  Fire, fire!

I have to say back off, regardless of what strings you think aren’t there, they really are. Cheating is cheating, oral sex or sex, its still a full-blown affair. You think that poor woman would feel better if he said “but, it was only oral sex and kissing and an emotional connection, no real sex”?

Course not. The only thing I can say to someone who would,be part of am affair, is to realize this is not a relationship between you and him, this is a relationship between you, him AND his wife, regardless of if she knows it yet.

One day you will have a husband, imagine how this feels from her end, please.

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