No thank you card even though I was in the wedding party

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We gave thank you notes and gifts to our bridal party (for being in the bridal party) at the rehearsal dinner. Did they get you a bridal party gift or anything? If you listen to Emily Post, couples have up to three months to send out thank you notes after the wedding, so I’d cut them a little slack.

Post # 4
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@cmbr:  +1- I gave the bridal party thank you cards along with gifts for being in my wedding. I only sent out separate thank you notes to those that gave gifts which wasn’t everyone.

Post # 5
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@bluefrog33:  I didn’t send my bridesmaid a thank you card. I gave one of my bridesmaids a silver knot ring for “helping me tie the knot” at the rehearsal dinner. I thought that was more than a card. I personally told her thank you. I also bought her dress, was not picky on shoes (just told her they had to be nude, didn’t care about the style) and I paid for her gas to go back and forth from her hometown to my hometown. So I spent a lot of money to have her there, but I wanted her there so it didn’t matter. 

She didn’t get me a gift, but I know she’s strapped for cash and sometimes forgetful. So if she is offended that she didn’t get a thank you card I would be flabbergasted. 

So if the bride gave you a gift, I can see how she wouldn’t get you a card. Also, she still has time to send you one anyway. Thank you cards are tedious things. 

 

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She didn’t sent you a thank-you card because you didn’t send a wedding gift. You sent a Christmas gift.

It doesn’t matter that the gift was late (you have up to a year to send wedding gifts and she has up to a year to send a thank you card.) But IMO you shouldn’t have combined it with Christmas. You should have simply said “Enjoy the wedding gift, it was a beautiful day!”

Wedding and Christmas are 2 very different occassions. She will probably still send a card anyway … and why are you so upset? Her wedding was only 2 months ago! She still has tons of time.

Post # 8
Member
5287 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@bluefrog33:  I was in a wedding 2 years ago and never received a verbal thank you or a thank you card in the mail. I helped the bride out alot and gave a very generous gift considering I had to spend so much to be in her stupid wedding. Lets just say we are not longer friends..

Post # 9
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yeah … I don’t mean to attack you. But I don’t plan on sending my bridesmaids thank you cards JUST for being bridesmaids. I will just send them thank you cards for the gifts, should they send any. (And they better.)

Why send bridesmaids separate thank-you cards? I’ve never received one and have been in 2 weddings. It’s just a fun honor to be IN someone’s wedding. IMO nobody needs a thank you card for that.

Post # 10
Member
7084 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Did she give you a gift at the time of the wedding? If so, I don’t think an additional thank you card is necessary.

Post # 11
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

@sweetchiquita12:  yeah, she should have SAID thank you or found some way to acknowledge your hard work and friendship. And she should have sent a thank you card for the gift! Your (ex) friend sounds like a bridezilla.

I’m just saying I don’t think seperate thank you cards to bridesmaids is necessary. This is honestly the first I’ve heard of this trend.

Post # 12
Member
5287 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@rahwaybride:  Yeah she was terrible bridezilla and I vowed to never ever be like her when I got married! She is just a selfish person in general which is why we are no longer friends

Post # 15
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bluefrog33:  oh well …. hearing all this. It sounds like she IS pissed at you about something considering she made these special cards for all the BMs. Best course of action? I think you should nicely ask her in person if she is angry about something. Just be like “i saw everyone got that really sweet card and I just wanted to make sure you aren’t mad at me!”  If she says she’s mad your wedding gift was late, tell her you have a YEAR to give a wedding gift. http://www.realsimple.com/weddings/registry-gifts/guide-to-buying-wedding-gifts-00000000027876/index.html

trust me, my FI gives his friends late wedding gifts all the time. Nobody cares and they are all still friends. at least you gave something. Men are just laid-back like that.

If she complains, tell her you were crazy busy helping plan her wedding before the wedding! Sheesh. if she can’t see that, that is her problem.

Post # 16
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Are people SERIOUS about not sending their bridesmaids “thank yous” unless they recieve a gift???

IMHO, a “thank you card” is a THANK YOU FOR BEING PART OF OUR WONDERFUL DAY, IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. 

Not thank you for the gift. Thats selfish. Bridesmaid or not, I believe everyone deserves a thank you for attending. What if someone couldn’t afford a gift? Especially a bridesmaid who shoveled out hundreds of dollars to be in attendance for YOU and spend money on YOU not for something she wanted herself.

Just my 2 cents. I don’t expect gifts from anyone, yes they will be nice to have but if someone doesn’t get me something I’m sure it’s for a reason other then just “not wanting to get me something”. 

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