(Closed) No thank you card received for wedding gift, should I follow up with couple?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Clark Gardens

It took me almost 3 months to get the lasts of my Thank You cards out in the mail. I ran out halfway through, had to order more, had to get more stamps, etc. I sent out batches of them at different times. 

I’d give her a little more time, if you can! I’m sure she’s trying to get to them and feels horribly about the delay. I know I did.

Post # 4
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think there’s a large possibility she hasn’t done it yet… we once got a thank you card six months after the wedding! But you could check with your friend to see if she got one!

Post # 5
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d give it a little more time.

I got married 2 1/2 months ago and I’m only half way through my thank you cards. So some people have received thank yous where others are still yet to be written.

Maybe wait until Jan or Feb (since you know they got it) and see if a thank you materializes.

Post # 5
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I didn’t get my thank-yous out until almost 3 months out. I just got a thank you this week from a wedding in mid-July. They probably don’t have them finished yet.

Post # 6
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t say anything. The fact that she brought up thank you’s means that she’ll probably be sending them out soon. Many brides take quite a few months to send thank you’s. I’d give it a few more months!

Post # 8
3264 posts
Sugar bee

Also, it is rude to point out others etiquette blunders.  Letting them know you didn’t get a proper thank you is pointing it out. 


Post # 9
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

So something like this happened to us. We gave Darling Husband friends a very nice gift with multiple kitchen appliances/utensils. Our thank you card on listed one or two of the items. I ended up emailing th ebride and low and behold they had become seperated and they had no idea who they were from.

I would give the bride a couple more months, you know they got it so its not lost, and then have Fiance casually mention it to the co-worker, just to make sure that it hadn’t gotten seperated or something.

Post # 10
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@andielovesj: I see your point, however not sending one is just as rude. I’ve been to 5 weddings in the last 3 years for Darling Husband best friends and not one of them ever sent out thank you notes. I found that completely rude and yes after #5 you bet I said something! 🙂

Post # 11
3264 posts
Sugar bee

@MissGreen: It is absolutely rude to not send a thank you.  But pointing it out is equally rude.  Stooping to be rude to just point out their error is possibly even worse. 

Post # 12
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011 - Blossom Heath

We just finished addressing all of our thank you cards for our late August wedding. So she just may not have gotten them all finished yet.

Post # 13
56 posts
Worker bee

@andielovesj:  I don’t see anything wrong with asking if someone got a gift.  If I didn’t receive a thank you, I wouldn’t automatically point out that I didn’t receive a thank you.. I would just ask if they recieved my gift.  It’s a polite way to point out a thank you wasn’t received which means they didn’t get the gift or they haven’t sent thank you’s.

Post # 14
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Out of the 6 weddings I’ve been to (4 of which I was actually in the bridal party), I have only ever recieved 2 thank you notes. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m satisfied if I at least get to see the couple face to face, and they thank me for coming before I actually leave.

That said, I still plan to be old-fashioned and send out thank you’s when my wedding is done.

Post # 15
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I looked up the proper etiquette, and the couple has up to a year. We went to a wedding, and 11 months after the wedding we got a thank you. Weird.

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