Post # 1
Do you guys think I’m being entitled/presumptuous here?
So last year, my husband and I became pretty friendly with our neighbors from a few doors down. We moved in a little over a year ago when they were still engaged, so we were honored to receive an invitation to their wedding. My husband and I decided to give them a cash gift, as they had told us that they had been living together for some time and didn’t need many household items. We gave them $100, which didn’t cause a huge financial hardship, but still was a pretty sizable hit to the wallet.
This was at the end of May, so it’s now about three months with no acknowledgement. After their wedding, we haven’t seen them too often anymore. They had a delayed honeymoon and got back at the end of July, so I would assume that they had plenty of time to get thank-you notes out between the wedding and honeymoon. It’s not that I feel entitled to a thank-you note, but it makes me a little annoyed for the following reasons:
a) I’m worrying they didn’t get my gift<br />b) Not to sound high and mighty, but I busted my ass as soon as I got home from my honeymoon immediately following my wedding to get those notes out. It only took an afternoon to just sit in front of the TV and sign, sign, sign. We just made the most of it.
I’m also slightly annoyed that I keep on seeing the wife post on Facebook about all of her gardening and activities with their three dogs. She had told me before the wedding that she was planning on taking a leave of absence from her job for three months so she could go on the honeymoon and just “spend some time at home.”
So you had all that time between your wedding and honeymoon and one of you is at home all day and you can’t even get any thank-you notes out for all these people that spent time and money to go to your wedding? Yes, I KNOW things happen, maybe they’re having family issues, blah blah blah, but really, I think it is just obnoxious and rude. I also asked my other neighbor (who also went to the wedding) if she had gotten a thank you note, and she said “no.” What do you guys think? Am I just being uptight?
Post # 2
Well, I think it is important to write thank you notes in a timely manner. I hate having them hanging over my head. That said, I have given gifts many times and never received a thank you note.
Post # 3
This happened to my FI once. We went to a wedding for one of his cousins (not someone he’s particularly close to), my FI gave a $400 cash gift for the both of us (but the value is beside the point), and he never received a thank you note. He casually mentioned this to his mom in the context of “oh wasn’t that rude”. His mom not so casually, and without my FI’s knowledge, mentioned this to his aunt (the mother of the groom). His aunt sent him a FB message that the thank you had been delivered to XYZ address. My FI wrote back with his correct address. It’s 1 year later and still no thank you note. My FI was deinitely offended. It’s rude, but there’s nothing to be done about it except not to be that person yourself.
Post # 4
Yes and no…there may be circumstances that you don’t know about.
I recieved a Thank You at the end of July for a wedding I attended August 2013.
Post # 5
Yeah, it’s very annoying, and like you and Mrs.Sawyertobe said, I personally hate having that stuff hanging over my head. I bust my notes out asap when I need to. But, sigh, too bad not everyone is as perfect as we are. 🙂
ETA: My rule now is that when I give a gift, I just give it and forget about. Like I try to completely clear my mond of all traces of the thing. That way I’m not thinking about the thank-you note. It’s the only way to keep myself sane is this world of imperfect people.
Post # 6
Justbrynne: Wow! I bet that nore surprised you!
Post # 7
Ilovewine: I would give it a little longer. I read that etiquette dictates that you have a year to send out thank you notes. I’m ‘that guy’ who will write them the next day, but not everyone is.
When we had our engagement party I wrote all of the thank you notes the next morning. I was planning on hand delivering to my family (who live 4 hours away) when I went home to visit. I forgot them, then went up north for the summer, so I still have a bunch of ‘thank you’ notes on my desk at home… from MAY! they’ll get them in September when I go home. Whoops. Things happen some times, maybe she’s lazy, maybe she forgot, maybe she is just trying to enjoy some down time and doesn’t want to even look at anything wedding for a while.
Post # 8
I would be annoyed. I think that thank you notes should be sent out promptly. Three months is an incredibly long amount of time, and I think it’s very rude that you haven’t received one.
Post # 9
winterwoodlandbride15: I read that etiquette dictates that you have a year to send out thank you notes<br /><br />That’s actually 100% wrong. Guests have up to one year from the wedding to send gifts. Thank you notes should be sent promptly as soon as the gift arrives, so the guest knows their gift was received. While you have quite a few thank you notes to write after a wedding, waiting a year is rude and absurd.
Post # 10
Although I personally like to send out thank you’s asap, traditional wedding etiquette does allow for up to a year to send thank you notes. Who knows maybe she is following this? Also, some people are just not as considerate as we’d like them to be (I get annoyed by this a lot), but all you can do is not let it get to you. I’m sure they are very grateful you attended their wedding, and for your gift, even if they haven’t sent the thank you card yet
Post # 11
Ilovewine: Think you’re being a little uptight. While there is an etiquette guideline that couples should be following, it doesn’t mean that if you have not received the TY card by x date that the couple are not appreciative of your gift. As you said, there may be other things going on that you’re not aware of.
I have been to several weddings and showers (at least 5) where a TY was never received at all. In another instance, we received our TY card about 13 months after the wedding took place. I knew the Bride and Groom were very appreciative of our gift, so I didn’t think twice about it. I appreciate getting the note, but even a verbal thank you and acknowledgement of the gift goes a long way.
If your neighbors haven’t even verbally thanked you, I think that’s pretty rude. But sometimes you have to let these things go and not stress about them.
Post # 12
I don’t understand people who don’t send thank you notes. It’s just rude. It’s not a relationship-ending move and it doesn’t change much, but I do remember if I got a thank you or not.
Post # 13
I had a friend get married on May 30 of this year, and still have not gotten a thank you note… and I was IN her wedding as a personal attendent. I am not too concerned about it, but is just interesting that she hasn’t gotten them out.
We went to a friend of FI’s wedding last spring(2013), and it took them 5 months to get their thanks you’s out… and they weren’t even handwritten. That, I thought was a little rude.
Post # 14
Ilovewine: There’s no reason they can’t get you a thank you note. It’s rude.
Post # 15
It’s rude and personally I feel like 3 months is long enough to write thank you and post it. It literally takes a few hours and her husband can help. my future sister in law got married in dec and still havent sent a thank you card. Her reason is that she’s been “busy”. So many people have made comments about that.