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The most tactful way to approach this is to not say anything. It sucks but there really isn't anything you can do about it without appearing rude yourself.
Seems to me like the couple may have already broken some etiquette rules themselves by dictacting their gifts!
I never recieved a thank you from my friend for the wedding gift I got her (I was a bridesmaid). I'm sort of paranoid that she never received it, but at the same time I didn't want to appear to be looking for a thank you and didn't mention it. Now too much time has passed to bring it up.
I would say that you should not say anything, at least not yet. I was embarrassingly slow in sending out my "thank you's" (8 weeks or something!) after my baby shower, because I was always too busy or tired to tackle the task. I realized that I was taking too long, and would be been mortified if someone had brought it up to me...
Give them the benefit of the doubt, as they're no doubt busy with moving and unpacking! The next time you see them or speak to them (for an unrelated reason than to ask about the thank you's) bring up to them that you just want to be sure they got the gift.
Two months isn't THAT bad compared to some people. I'd give it another month or two. One couple whose wedding I attended took EIGHT months to do thank yous!
Hmm... are you close to anyone else that's close to her, like MOB or a BM? Maybe bring up to them that you want to make sure the couple got your gift...that way the other person can give them a nudge about your thank you card without it coming directly from you.
According to some other posts here, the couple have up to a year after the wedding to send thank yous...maybe they've been otherwise busy. Hope for the best!
I'd say if you don't hear from them by mid-July it would be all right to call to make sure they received it. Sure, they're probably just behind especially if they're in the process of moving/getting ready to move, but the sad fact remains that sometimes mail gets stolen....
I wouldnt say anything. It took us about 2-3 months to finish our thank yous and get them sent out so 2 months of waiting isnt unheard of. if you dont get a thank you a few months from now you can always bring something up in conversation to allude to the gift without bringing it up directly.
8 months! oh dear!
She's a family member too, I don't so much care to have the thank you card but just want to make sure she got it. We're not very close (but i do love her) We're just not close enough that I can call up and say nonchalantly "did ya get it!".
I'll let it go.
thanks for weighing in!
Oh jeez. Our wedding was 2.5 months ago, and we still have probably 1/3 of the thank yous to do. I'd give them a little more time :)
2 months isn't that bad. She may be waiting on her photography for thank yous. I'm with Kittyachi - FI & I went to a wedding last Aug & got the thank you in April/May!!
I gave a gift last year and I still haven't received a thank you. We were talking one day and she said she received it, but she never sent a thank you note. My mama never received a thank you or a thank you note from a wedding from last year either.
Maybe they are under the impression that they have a whole year to send a thank you note. Some people get confused by this because they think that because guest have a whole year to send a gift, then they have a whole year to say thank you.
I just got a thank you card for a wedding we attended last September, so there's a strong possiblity they're just slow.
However I will say - since I have experience with stuff getting stolen in the mail - that there's nothing wrong with cehceking they received your card. If you're close and speak casually, you could mention the CARD and not the gift like "I really liked the card I sent you and I snatched it up the moment I saw it because it reminded me of you." or something to see if she knows what you're talking about. Of course that onyl works if you recall the card or it was remarkable in some way.
I had this happen years ago. I had friends who got married in Italy, and had the reception at a later date in a city about 4 hours away. I couldn't afford to go at the time, so I sent them a check.
It's like 5 years later, and I never got a thank you. I know that they got it, because, well they cashed the check. Needless to say, they weren't invited to my wedding.
I'd give them a little longer....most people don't get thank you's out within 8 weeks it seems.
Yes, definitely give them longer. I didn't get my thank-yous out until... four months after. Eeek!
There's so many rumors out there that it can be confusing. I've read that thank you's can be sent anywhere from 3 months to a year after receiving a gift. Heck we gave a gift almost 3 years ago and there is no thank you in sight.
I say give them some more time and that there is nothing wrong with asking in a nice way. We were married 6 months ago, thank you cards were sent out within a week and earlier this week a family friend told my grandmother they hadn't heard from us and wondered if we got the card. I told her that we sent him a TY card and she was going to remind him.
It's perfectly fine to check in to see if they got the gift. You aren't fishing for a thank you; you do not know that they ever recieved the present.
I agree with @VeronicaH. I think it's perfectly fine to call and see if they got it! I don't see how it's rude to make sure that they recieved a present? Give them a call, let them know you were thinking about them, and wanted to make sure they got your Gift Card.
Could you ask anyone else who went to the wedding if they received a thank you yet? I would give them a bit more time. I have a friend who got married 18 months ago and still hasn't written thank you cards. Oiy vay!!!
I agree with VeronicaH. I think it is fine to check with them to make sure they received it. There is no need to mention a thank you note. If there was a problem it would be much easier to handle now, than after a year.
In my experience, most people do not send out thank you cards within two months. I've had a few situations where we gave gift cards and never got a thank you and wondered the same as you - did it get lost? Do they think we didn't give a gift? I found out through other people that no one got a thank you from them. Usually you'll find that out. I know you said that you weren't comfortable with cash, but since those occurences, I always give a check instead of a gift card. That way when it clears you know they got it. It doesn't solve the rudeness of them not sending a thank you but at least there is no question that they got it.
Nooo don't call them! That would be so awkward/embarassing for them - even if you are just concerned about whether or not they received it it really would be embarassing. Two months isn't terrible. I'd give it a little while longer and then maybe do it.
Ok o i guess i'm the only one that thinks a call is not bad etiquette. You don't have to mention the thank you card or lack there of, just say " Hey I was just wonderin if you all recieved the card i sent you.... Just make sure you don't sound like your fishing for a thank you but moreof theconcern of he receipt of the gift....because if they didn't recieve it waiting may make it too late to get a replacement
I would give them some more time.. they may have a lot going on :)
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Hi bees,
I went to a wedding in april I did not bring the gift/card with me as it was a destination wedding and there was talk about the new couple moving immediately after and not wanting actual gifts due to having to move them too. But wanting cash for their honeymoon. I personally felt uncomfortable giving cash and preferred to give them a generous gift card to WS.
As soon as we got back I sent a card with the gift card in it. Sent- but now its almost 2 months later and no "thank you", "we got it", nothing. Do I call and say "hey! just want to make sure you got it?" do I wait another month and see if they are just slow in the thank you dept. TUrns out they did not move, so I know that wasn't a factor in the delay. I don't want to call them out on it and make me look like I'm grubbing for a thank you or make them feel bad for the delay in thankyous. What is the most tactful way to approach this?