Post # 1
i got married about 4 months ago, and got no gift from my coworkers, not even a card. i was a bit down because of this as i get on well with everyone and have been with the company over 2 years. another coworker got married about a year ago and also got nothing, so i figured they just do not do it at our company, so i didnt feel that bad. another coworker is getting married next week, and we got message yesterday asking us to contribute towards a gift for her. now i am feeling so bad, and i feel like i am being petty as i like the girl alot and do not begrudge her a gift but do not feel like contributing as i did not even get a card. apparently it was the boss’ idea, and when someone asked her about this she said i do not work under her and my boss should have organised it for me. but i used to work for her fairly recently then got moved to a different dept, and my direct boss is high up in the company, he is even her boss too but my dept reports directly to him. anyway he is very seldomly there, and we all work together in the same building an with each other everyday.
Post # 2
cadi12345: Just like what you said, I am assuming that someone has to organize this in order for it to happen. I wouldn’t take offense – this girl’s boss chose to do this. It sounds like none of them actually attended your wedding, so you can’t expect to get a gift from them. A card would have been nice, sure, but maybe there is no one in your department who thinks like that.
Since it offended you – perhaps you can be the one to circulate a card for the next member in your department who gets married so no one else feels this way.
Post # 3
cadi12345: It can be very hurtful when people are treated in different ways at the workplace when it comes to birthdays, weddings etc.
Post # 4
cadi12345: I 100% agree with weatherbug: There’s nothing you can do to change the fact that you didn’t get a gift/card, but you CAN make sure that no one else in your company feels slighted in the future by taking the responsibility upon yourself.
As for how to handle the current gift/bride. Give if you want, don’t give if you don’t want…just don’t make that decision based upon your feelings about your own wedding. It’s not her fault.
Post # 5
I felt the same, however others before me were the ones who got gifts/cards/parties so I was sort of looking forward to/expecting something. The last day at work before my wedding, I got called down to the front desk to cover the receptionist while she went “somewhere” and I was like oh I wonder if this is their way of getting me downstairs to surprise me with a little gathering.
NOPE! There was a gathering, but it was for a woman who just had a baby and came back for her shower. I was crushed and even started crying when I drove home. I felt so selfish for even being upset, so I totally understand how you feel.
Post # 6
cadi12345: I know how you feel. Same thing happened at my work. My boss got me a card, and all my co-workers signed it, which I got after the wedding (which I thought was a little weird but whatever). We had a new guy start right after that and he was getting married about 6 months after he started. When his wedding rolled around they made sure to get him a card before hand, and a gift, which was paid for from our Staff account. There seems to be no rhyme or reason around here as to who gets what. I do like previous posters suggestion of taking it on yourself so no one else feels slighted, like you did. I am however still bitter about my incident so I cant blame you if you dont want to. Im actually expecting my first child now and am intrigued to see if any of them do anything in regards to a gift/baby shower.
Post # 7
This happened to me too. All women who had weddings got a little party and a gift. I got nothing and I was bummed, I’m not going to deny it. I am not the loudest person in the office and apparently some people didn’t even know why I was gone for three weeks! When I came back I got a card.
This also happened to my then fiancé but he was the recipient of a party and cake. Apparently that day another coworker had come back from his wedding and honeymoon and he got nothing, not even a card. To make it worse, he brought wedding favors for every person in the office. Awkward!
I don’t have anything to say other than I sympathize with you!
Post # 8
I get where you are coming from, this happened to me when got married and with having a child. Nothing was done for either and others have gotten married/had babies and had gifts/showers for them. It sucks, but you really can’t do a whole lot about it unfortunately