- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2010
Because my family is so big I am having a destination wedding this year followed by an informal reception in my hometown 2 months later. The destination wedding is going to include immediate family a few close friends.
Two of my friends have just recently offered to throw me a bridal shower where I live (which is about 4 1/2 hours from my hometown.) It would be just for friends that live near me.
After doing lots of research, ettiquette states that mothers should not throw showers for their daughters. However, that has been done a lot in my family! I haven’t even thought twice about it. That being said, my mom has not offered to throw a shower of any sort back where I grew up, inviting relatives and friends in that area. I am really hurt. Maybe it’s because she has shown very little interest in the wedding, but easily threw a baby shower for my brother’s girlfriend who had his child, even though she has 3 other childen of her own.
I’ve also read that lots of showers are surprises. I know that is not the case here because I work a second job on the weekends and they would need to let me know way in advance to get off of work.
I am wondering if she doesn’t think she should do one because it is a destination wedding and most of the people attending are only invited to the post-wedding hometown reception. Or if it is because we have been together so long and already “set up house” and are not registering for traditional gifts.
This is not about the gifts, it’s about my mom wanting to celebrate this part of my life with me and the rest of my family – like she did when she knew there was a grandson coming into her life.
I’ve already told her about the shower my friends plan to throw for me for my local friends, too.
I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to just get over it. Maybe I should talk about the wedding more and ask for her input? Maybe she is hurt because I’m not asking for that from her. (We are just trying to keep it as simple as possible.)
P.S. FMIL lives 12 hours from where I live and 7 hours from my hometown and fiances family is very small and not very close.