(Closed) Nobody’s Excited or Helpful [VENT]

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
48 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am sorry you are going through this. I have a similar experience. We are handling the wedding ourselves. My family is happy for us but that is it. No one wants to help, be involved or even go dress shopping. His family does not approve of the marriage (because I am not Asian) and may not even attend. This was NEVER how I envisioned my wedding to be. There was a moment that I wanted to just scream and give it all up. But I realized that I had a choice. I could either make the most of it and try to have a wedding with the people that I knew would want to be there. Or elope and do something simple with just the two of us. I decided on the first because personally we both felt we would have regrets with the latter.
So, I guess you just have to sit down and decide what is important to you. I have found that when you have expectations of others you are usually going to be let down. So i have decided to just do what I need to do and pray that in the end it is a joyous event.

On a side note…someone once told me that a wedding is almost like a test of your marriage. You will both be faced with a lot of decisions and stresses that mimic reality. Your ability to adapt and respond as a couple is a prelude of how you will interact and communicate in the long run. For me personally, I have seen BOTH of our weakness’ displayed during this whole process. This gives us the opportunity to improve. You may want to consider this and approach your Fiance about his communication and input. That is just my 2 cents and advice that was handed down to me =).

In the end, this is all about your commitment between you and your hubby to be. So do what feels right to you both.

Post # 4
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Im sorry you feel like you are all alone in the planning process – I actually did alot of the wedding planning by myself – dont get me wrong i had alot of support – but people are busy. Fiance actually turned out to be a huge help, he was my support system through the whole thing. Keep your head up – it can be done alone…as long as you have someone to bounce things off of you should be good and it sounds like your dad is the perfect person for that, and us here on the bee too!

If it makes you feel any better my Future Sister-In-Law is preggo also, and they just got married in august – talk about taking a backseat. I have already had 30 regrets from his side of the family since everyone travled to his sisters wedding a few months ago.

Post # 5
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry you going through this! Its definitely hard when you don’t have a lot of family to help you along the way in the planning. My situation is similiar, me & my mom aren’t very close, my sister is in this huge screwed up situation so right now our entire family is focused on her screw ups, my dad is happy for me but of course him being a man you can only shove so much wedding talk down their throat! 🙂

 If your fiance is content with eloping & you aren’t set on having a wedding then just do that. It’ll definitely be enjoyable & you can get away from the stress of everyone else. Or try to have some of your friends help you with the planning. My best friend lives 9 hrs away & my aunt who I’m really close to 3 hours away so I’m pretty much stuck planning mine alone or through numerous emails of what do you thinks..

Post # 7
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@ama0219: Unfortunately you can’t make people be happy for you. Is there a particular reason you think moving the date back will make them happier?

Post # 9
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

That’s weird, when I first read your post I thought you were still a teenager from the way your family was reacting.  Now I think they’re just trippin’.  I’m sorry you’re having to go through that.  🙁 

Post # 11
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@ama0219: I’m really really sorry your mum feels that way. Don’t let her lack of enthusiasm dim yours. Not every family is the same. I know your friend’s engagement seems as if she has more people excited for her than you do. Maybe after your FSIL’s baby is born, they will focus on your wedding? And you made me laugh about your future that you would be giving up, the one of a sexy librarian/James Bond sidekick. Keep your chin up. *Hugs*

Post # 12
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you have to feel so alone. But I do have some good news for you relating to your FI’s lack of wedding planning enthusiasm: It’s completely normal. He’s a boy, they don’t care much about weddings. Give him a few tasks to do that you know he’s good at (my Fiance, for example, is picking out the music and writing the wedding website) and he’ll do them. But guys generally just don’t care about centerpieces or linens. 🙂

I’m sure his family will be very excited once the baby comes. The first grand child is the thing a parent looks forward to most. (At least in my family, the only reason they’re excited I’m getting married is because it puts them one step closer to grandbabies.)

Good luck!

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