Post # 1
What can I do about super noisy neighbors? Any suggestions for the best way to approach them?
They first moved in about 2 months ago. At that time, they woke up at about 5:30 am every day and yelled profanities at each other until leaving for work. Annoying, but we dealt with it without saying anything because it was only a little earlier than we had to be up anyway.
Last week, they started working second shift–so they’re now up watching movies (action movies with thumping bass turned up LOUD) and talking loudly until 4 am. We’ve got fans running, doors closed, etc, but it’s still loud enough to wake us up. So last night, we finally banged on the floor, hoping they’d quiet down. Instead of quieting down–they started STOMPING all over the house.
I really want to be polite and take the high road by talking to them and asking if there’s anything we can do in the mornings so that they can sleep well, while also asking them to turn their speakers down on their tv at night and try not to slam the doors when they come in. I really want to be polite so that we can all get our sleep and have a happy home life, but I’m a little skeptical about how they’ll react and I don’t want to make things worse…
Post # 3
I’m assuming you live in an apt complex? Call apt management. If that doesn’t work, call the police and make a noise complaint. You obviously tried to do it the civil way and they don’t want to play. So now I’d let a third party step in.
Post # 4
Do you live in an apartment building? ARe they right below you or next to you or above you? Unfortunately I would not advise approaching them directly because they will most likely get defensive and if they aren’t breaking any rules they will continue to be loud and obnoxious. Even if they are breaking actual rules, they won’t listen to you since you aren’t the ones who enforce them. It would be like your sibling telling you that you broke curfew and to get in earlier the next night.
If you’re in a complex, check with the management company to see if they have any rules about quiet hours and obviously you can call the police if they continue to be loud in the middle of the night. Slamming doors when they come home, most likely not breaking any rules. But if they continue to get in trouble for it from management or the cops, they might slam a little softer in the future.
Post # 5
I would speak to them in person first. You haven’t tried to do it the civil way, banging on the floor is rude (not to say that they didn’t deserve it). Next time it gets a little loud I’d knock on the door and say hey I’m sorry but we don’t work the same schedules and we really need to get some sleep, could you please at least turn the bass down on your tv/surround sound and if there’s anything we can do during the hours you’re sleeping please let us know. If that doesn’t work then you should contact the management company. If you go straight to the management company and file a complaint they’ll probably just file one right back against you. But at least if you try to be civil about it and give them the opportunity to talk to you about it they might realize it’ll be easier to try and work together to achieve a living situation that works for everyone. And if you just automatically call the cops you’re going to have an enemy sharing a wall with you until someone’s lease is up.
Post # 6
Find out if your apartment has a “light’s out” type thing. At mine (it’s a house converted into an apartment), everyone is supposed to be out (visiters, that is) by 11pm. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean everyone at the place obeys it (myself included).
The point is, if they aren’t obeying the “lights out” rule of thumb (quiet after a certain time), you can complain to the landlord/apt management.
If that doesn’t work, call the cops and file a noise complaint. The obviously know what they’re doing (stomping of the feet after the banging on the door) and don’t care or enjoy making others miserable.
I wouldn’t approach anyone who yells profanities at each other before work. It doesn’t seem the brightest thing, to me. But then, i’m also a petite female who doesn’t look very menacing, lol. (my FI, exact opposite, lol).
good luck and I hope you get a resolution to this soon!!!!
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice ladies! We live in a 100-year-old house converted into two very thin-walled apartments. We’re on the top floor, they’re on the bottom. I agree, my DH banging on the floor last night was rather rude–it’s true. He shouldn’t have. But we want to be civil today and take the high road. DH is at work all day and our neighbors will be gone by the time he gets home, so I think we’ll bake some cookies and write a note to leave for them when the get home.
I think the note will say something along the lines of, “We noticed you guys started working 2nd shift lately and we know how hard that can be. We’ve been trying to limit our noise in the mornings by keeping our voices down and not wearing shoes and we’ve also moved the smoke detector so we don’t set it off while cooking breakfast. Since we sleep at night, we’re wondering if there’s any way you guys could keep the volume on your tv/music down as well as your voices. We all need our sleep, and if we are conscious of each other’s schedules we will be able to all live in this house happily.” How does that sound??
I know we don’t have any authority over them, but I think it’s right to approach them before we go to our landlord. If it comes down to it, our lease says, “Tenants and guests must conduct themselves in a manner that is not disturbing to others,” so I think our landlord would help us enforce it.
Post # 8
@lindseyrose: it sounds like a good letter and worded nicely. here’s hoping it works!!! the only problem I can see is them claiming they didn’t get the letter if you end up going to the landlord.
Talking to them in person would be better.
Post # 9
I agree that you should try to talk to them, but I wouldn’t expect much since what they did when you kind of said something, haha, they didn’t take it too well, but after that if the noise isn’t getting better, then I would talk to your landlord or the police, but I also agree that they may claim they didn’t get that letter, so I would just talk to them and say exactly what your letter says.
Post # 10
The problem with talking to them in person is that we would have to get up at 2 am to do it… Because DH is at school all day and I’m not going down there by myself!
I think we’ll do the letter, then if it’s still bad we’ll talk to them in person (or this weekend when they’re home/awake during the day). Then, if that doesn’t work, we’ll call the landlord. I just don’t understand how some people can be so rude?
Post # 11
@lindseyrose: I still don’t think talking to them is a good idea, but if you think it will work then give it a try. I would honestly file an anonymous complaint with either your management company or the cops. Because if you talk to them first and they don’t listen, then you try the ‘anonymous’ complaint it won’t work. They will know it was you and you will have an instant enemy. If they are the type of people to yell profanities at each other I just really find it hard to believe they would reason with nice cookie baking neighbors. Good luck!
Post # 12
Hey, this is random but I did some mediation for neighbor disputes, and one was a similar situation.
The ‘noisy’ client was actually really offended when the ‘quiet’ client gave him a note instead of speaking to him directly. We ended up having a conversation about cultural differences regarding communication. I think its a good idea to try to meet with them in person- I know its hard, and I’d probably try to avoid it if it was me ’cause I suck at that kind of thing. But if you meet in person, and just say the things in the letter, use a lot of “I statements” and welcome them to the building too, you’ll have definitely taken the “right” first step. Do it with your partner together.
If the noise continues, even once, give them a letter. While you’re doing this, I’d also check with your landlord about his/her policy re: noise.
Filing a noise complaint should be the last resort, but is totally within your rights if they are disrespectful to your polite and reasonable requests. Its hard to evict someone, so they will probably be your neighbors for a while and getting a noise ticket will piss them off.
Post # 13
@moderndaisy–I see what you mean about filing an anonymous complaint, but we live in a house with two apartments (ours and theirs), with empty lots on all sides. If we file an anonymous complaint, they’ll know it’s us because no one else can hear them. If we were in a normal complex, I would totally agree with your suggestion though.
I doubt they’ll respond to cookies either based on how they treat each other/how rude they are… But maybe?
@ellyt–Thanks for the input. I’ll talk to DH about going down there tonight and talking to them in person. I think we both just feel uncomfortable talking to them in the middle of the night, especially with the nasty yelling they do and sometimes it sound like they physically fight with each other (though for long enough to call the police)… Maybe we can put a line in our note saying, “We wanted to talk to you in person but with our differing schedules we just thought a note would be easier. If you’d like to talk, give us a call at your convenience or let’s talk this weekend when we’re both home/awake at the same time.”
Post # 14
In case anyone is curious, we left chocolate chip cookies and a nice note telling them that we’. And we didn’t hear a peep last night!
They put the cookies back on our doorstep though. Really, I didn’t expect them to like/want the cookies–it was more of a gesture. Because seriously, if they left cookies on our doorstep, I’d be thinking–what did they do to these?!
Hopefully things will get better from here. I’m praying! I feel way better today after actually getting a good night’s sleep.