Non-Existent Plus 1 (guest) RSVP

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you respond to this guest?
    Close out RSVP Sept 5th : (20 votes)
    63 %
    Let her add guest last minute : (12 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @bridepen:  If you offered a +1, and you know she wants to bring one and is definitely planning to bring someone, do you really need the name? It seems like this is hurting your relationship, and – while I think it’s lame that she doesn’t want to come to your wedding without a date – it’s clear that having a date is that important to her. If you can afford to give her the +1 (which you already offered), I think you should be the “bigger person” and go ahead and let her bring someone TBD. But only you know how tight your budget is, and how close your relationship with her is! Is your friendship worth “bending your rules”?

    Post # 4
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    She’s being really rude. “It’s never been a problem for me when RSVPing for a wedding.”… That’s uh… yeah…

    I would just say to bad so sad. I’ll put you down as a no then.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Why do you need to know his name? I’m baffled. I hope you trust your named guests not to bring an axe murderer as their accompaniment of choice. I would be insulted in her place, and not attend.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1116 posts
    Bumble bee

    @bridepen:  I can understand the frustration, yes you gave her a +1, but she either knows if she’s bringing someone or she’s not. You shouldn’t have to pay for her date if she can’t find anyone last minute. Also shouldn’t have to pay for her if she can’t find someone and then decides not to come herself. It won’t ruin her life to come alone or to ask someone she wasn’t interested in asking at first so that way she can have her date and you can stop worrying about things like this 🙂 hope it all gets resolved. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think you’re being really reasonable and she is pushing her luck. I would just call her bluff.

    My response would be something along the lines of “Well, it’s too bad that our deadline for RSVPs is that much of a determinant of whether or not you attend (with or without a date), but it’s something we just can’t budge on and have tried to accomodate you as best we can. We’ll be sad not to have you there, so hopefully you get it figured out by the deadline!” 

    Post # 12
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    On second reading, for the guest’s part, she should be clear that she is not planning to stick you with an empty chair, no matter what. once that’s clarified though, it seems ungracious to pester her about who exactly it will be.

    Being single, especially when your friend is getting married, isn’t always a barrel of laughs. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree with most pp’s, bit according to your wedding date, you are asking for an RSVP two months before your wedding… Which seems pretty far. Except that i am torn because I feel like they should give you a name within a reasonable time..

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