Post # 1
My FI and I decided to have a civil ceremony. We don’t want to mention anything religious, but we want it to be meaningful and memorable–both for us and for our guests. We have an idea of incorporating a subtle "theme" into the ceremony, but I am just feeling really nervous about writing it ourselves.
Has anyone written their own ceremony? Can you recommend any tips or resources? Have you ever been to a wedding in which the people wrote their ceremony and it was terrible (i.e., what NOT to do)?
Post # 3
If you check out Mrs. Cherry Pie’s posts, she wrote her own ceremony. I have a word doc of a religous ceremony, if you want to see it and tweak it to be what you want. PM me if you want me to send it to you.
I think if you give yourself plenty of time (and ask someone to help) it’ll be great. My FI and I wrote our own vows (we’re still saying the same thing though) and I ran it by our pastor who was really impressed. She thought they were super sweet. So I guess it just depends how you do it. Good luck, and I know you can do it 🙂
Post # 4
Hey! We’re doing this too! Do you have an officiant yet? If it’s somebody other than a JP, sometimes they’ll have different ceremonies written out that you can choose from. Ours is letting us pick and choose what we want and re-word it, which is great.
We’re incorporating a few traditions/rituals into the ceremony to imbue it with more meaning, such as handfasting and a wine ceremony with a German wedding cup. We’re also writing our own vows.
I haven’t been to any terrible ceremonies where people wrote their own (and I’ve been to several), but I have been to some pretty awful religious services where the priest/pastor went off on a tangent during the homily and spoke out against gay marriage, or talked a lot about babies when the couple didn’t want them, etc.
Post # 5
Here’s the link to Mrs. Cherry Pie’s wedding ceremony stuff. Hopefully it’ll help!!
Post # 6
Hi, Kara321, I saw this post yesterday, but had to do a little research before I replied. There’s a Knottie by the name of JBloom (she hangs out on the Snarky Brides board) who had a very cool civil ceremony. They wrote their own ceremony, and the words were beautiful. Also, they invented a "pants cutting" during the ceremony where the officiant asked them to cut a pair of pants in half to symbolize their partnership. It was really funny and sweet, but I don’t have the exact words. You could probably page her over at the Knot, but I included a link to where she talked about it to other people on the boards.
Post # 7
Post # 8
Have you thought about who you would like to perform your ceremony yet? Many civil/non-religious officiants and Celebrants will have a lot of resources for you, and will work with you to write the ceremony. It may be something you want to look into before you right your entire ceremony out.
Post # 9
I agree with Gilneas above – we’re having a humanist perform our ceremony and he provided us with both a traditional and modern version of his typical ceremony, and we’ll just personalise our vows – it’s a huge help!
Even if you don’t already know who you’re going with, when you inquire you can request to see a sample ceremony, they should be able to email you one!
Post # 10
I tried a few different officiants, but I haven’t gotten call backs. I haven’t even gotten to the point of talking with someone and getting a price!
One officiant, Carissa Templeton, said she would call me back and never did. (I called her several times) Another one, mr. benjamin, was very rude and told me a I had to raise my kids catholic or he wouldnt officiate. He’s not a catholic priest!!
I am getting very frustrated. Will keep the faith and keep searching though. Any input would be awesome
Post # 11
Wow, grankis! I guess the up-side is that at least you’re finding out that they’re not very good communicators *before* you hire them! We found our officiant on weddingwire.com. We searched in the "officiant" section for our area and read a few reviews. Have you tried that route?
Post # 12
Sorry you’ve found some flakey officiants. I’ve begun looking for officiants for my wedding and have been having a really hard time too – and I’m a wedding officiant myself! I think some people aren’t as professional as they could be, which is kind of unfortunate.
You’re in NYC? Are you getting married in New York? I’m in NJ and have some contacts in the city I could Private Message you if you’d like!