- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’m very excited to have my first (and hopefully the last) big day at 36. But at the same time feel very sad/guitly that I let my family down…
The story is that neither my Mom nor my sister (my Dad passed away when I was 17) want me to marry my bf of 6 yers, the reason being “he’s not good enough for me”.
I was raised in a country where social status is No 1 priority and my parents rejected a lot of decent guys in my yonger years as my potential dates. Our family was very well known back home and to be honest our Mom did all she could to give me and my sister the best of everything.
In case you wonder, I was not allowed to date anyone until I was 21, and after that I could date only with the approval of my Mom, which never happened. It goes without saying that I was sneaking out of the house just to go for a movie or smth, ot leave work early so I could go for a date. In the evenings, when I was home, I couldn’t even speak on the phone with my date…and that’s in my late 20’s.
Don’t get me wrong, I could go to a night club, take a seaside trip, go pretty much anywhere anytime and wear anything I wanted, but only accompanied with someone my Mom trusted.
After I moved to Toronto, I met my bf who is almost 8 years yonger than me, but nevertheless we have a great relationship and we are getting married in September. All these years my Mom tried to break me up with him, calling him names, not talking to me, blaming her poor health on me etc. You name it, she did it – everything to prevent me from marying him.
Now when its only 3 months left to my big day, my family has not helped me with anything, they avoid the subject of my wedding when they talk to me. My Mom refuses to tell my family from back home that I’m getting married (because she feels ashamed of my poor choice). My sister (whose wedding I planned and prepared from A to Z years back) is busy with her kid and purchase of a new house. I feel left out and guilty that I might let my family down, and all I want to do is cry 🙁
I am sorry that the story is long, but I do need your advice and thoughts. Thank you!