Non traditional vows?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

We wrote our own. We made sure to talk about it before though – I’ve been to some weddings where people didn’t agree on their vows and they were totally different. For example, one talked for 5 minutes and the other one said a few words or one person was all jokes and the other person was really emotional. We decided to say 3 or 4 things that we loved about each other and then say 3 or 4 things that we promised to do in our marriage. 

Post # 6
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

@LincsMama:  My daughter’s were something like that.  She is on her honeymoon right now! As MOB, I was a little dazed that day so I can’t remember them exactly.  I just remember at the time I thought they were lovely.  I don’t think they wrote them though, I just know they were different from the standard but not too far off.  Just enough to make it a little bit interesting.  They also had a love letter vow box ceremony.  It was very nice too.  Most people hadn’t seen that before. 

I’m a night owl too but the rest of the world isn’t.  I shouldn’t be either.

Post # 8
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We wrote ours. But we both work in occupations that pay us for creativity and writing so that helped.  It was cute, a few of our friends actually were able to recall parts of our vows afterwards because they were so personal.

We started off making 5-6 promises to each other that were mostly light hearted and personal little things (e.g. DH promised to make me coffee every morning and to respect my love of shoes, I promised to tolerate his smelly gym gear and tolerate cold climates so he can ski.)

We had a friend officiate so then he talked about how we met and how he’s seen our relationship develop.  Then we exchanged rings and it was more serious.  DH said

> You inspire me.
> You’re my best friend and the love of my life.
> I’ll be your travel buddy.
> Whatever you want to do in life, I’ll support you.
> I’ll help you be the best you can be, and to live your dreams.
> I love you just as you are, and everything you could become.
> I’ll be there for you through thick and thin, for better and worse,
> sickness and health, and maybe some shopping. But not too much shopping.
> I’m looking forward to sharing years of fun and adventure, and to becoming grumpy old people together.

and I said

> You inspire me and you’ve helped me climb mountains, both figuratively and in reality. (Because we hiked the Inca trail the year before we were married)
> You’re my best friend and the love of my life.
> I’ll be your travel buddy and your personal shopper
> Whatever you want to do in life, I’ll support you.
> To help you be the best you can be, and to live your dreams.
> I love you just as you are, and everything you could be.
> I’ll support you through thick and thin, for better and worse, just like we always have.
> I’m looking forward to a future of fun and adventure, to exploring the world with you, and to being one of those adorable old couples that grumble about how New York was better when we were young.

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We actually did BOTH!  Our written vows were just short messages to each other about what we promised and wished for in this marriage.  I did read that you should share them beforehand to make sure the other approved, so we did share ahead!  We did our own vows first, then the traditional vows.

Post # 10
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

@LincsMama:  There are several different versions but most include letters wrtitten to each other by the bride and groom, a bottle of wine, maybe glasses and a locked decorative box of some kind.  All the items are put into the box and locked. The officiant will explain that the box is to be opened on their 10th anniversary and they will read each others letter and drink the wine and reminisce about what they love about each other, then write new letters and lock the box again.  If for some reason before the 10 year anniversary they find themselves in serious relationship trouble, they are to sit down and open the box together and do the same as above with the hope that their original love letters will get them back on the right path.  My daughter and her husband used a special gin that they drank on their first date.  I’ve read that some people open them every year, read the letters and add new ones so by their 25th anniversary they have written letters documenting their long marriage. They say to display the box somewhere prominent in your house so that you are reminded a little everyday of your vows.

You can basically make it specific to you as a couple but the sentiment is usually similar.  It was very sweet. 

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