- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
We are having a vow renewal which is something that the majority of my family members agree with and are happy about. They were a little mad that they weren’t there and I especially want to make it up to his grandma who favors my husband. This isn’t a thing where we met for a couple of years and then got married at a JOP. We were together for 10 years and went through a lot so in a sesne, it is a milestone but whatever.
The problem is my grandmother. She was there at the JOP but made a point to annoy the crap out of me on that day. She was my mom’s ride to the JOP and my mom wanted to be there in the morning to help me get ready but that didn’t happen. They arrived to the courthouse an hour late, I had to move the wedding to accomodate THEM. Then while my grandmother kept taking all these pictures during a time I was stressed out her husband is telling us to hurry up and get the wedding over with because they have to drive back home. All our pictures show me just nervous and wanting to get the hell out of there and my husband was beyond pissed at him. So, we had the wedding and got out. My mother desperately wanted to go to my husband’s house where my fiance’s family (bless them) had a small barbecue waiting for us. No can do. My grandmother’s husband had to get out now. So, with my mom crying they left.
Cut to today. The decision to have a VR didn’t come lightly to me. My husband (surprisingly) was all for it while I felt uncomfortable but I secretly wanted it so we are making plans by not only setting a budget but finding elegant but inexpensive things (wedding favors warehouse online does wonders) our budget is way smaller then we planned for the never-happened wedding (it was called off) but we are not inviting many, wanting to keep it intimate is a big deal. The budget is our secret BUT that doesn’t help my so-called sweet grandmother from trying to pry. We don’t own anything too expensive and have planned our finances taking into account emergencies and what not but that doesn’t stop her from harping on “this thing is too much money” How would she know, I never told her our budget because it was none of her business. Besides that she thinks the ceremony we had was lovely..but I can put money down that if she wasn’t there it would be something else to complain about. I really made a mistake inviting her to the first one because it just added stress.
Personally I want to confront her. I want to tell her it’s none of her damn business WHAT we do with our money, how we want to have this thing (she never gave any ideas) because she simply doesn’t know. I don’t want to tell her our budget however because its just more ammo with her. I don’t want anything to do with her because its not just the VR that annoys her but everything I do or don’t do pisses her off. Her constant remarks about my weight despite the fact that I am losing it hurts, the fact that I don’t visit her (we live across the ocean and besides why would I want to visit someone like that) my college ( I am going but not what she want me to be) and my job (she constantly tells me to work at Borders. No. I have a good paying job that actually helps me in college not just financially but with my portfolio) I am never good enough but once I or anyone tries to confront her she does this sweet voice thing that makes everyone pity her and then she is crying about how its not her fault.
Should I not invite her or grin and bear it because she is my grandmother.