Normal seperation anxiety or trouble with daycare…?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
6617 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it’s unreasonable of her to not let your 15 month old have 2 naps. My MIL is a licensed daycare provider and has a schedule, but obviously you have to be a little flexible. I would find a new provider.

Post # 3
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I used to run a licensed centre with 25 children and 9 employees. Number 1, here in Canada a child is an infant until 18 months NOT a toddler. Yes, at 18 months we will begin to wean a child down to 1 nap a day, but we only encourage what is naturally happening with the child at that age. If they need a morning nap sometimes we allow it, but we gradually shorten the length ie if they normally sleep 1 hr for 2 week we let them sleep 45mins then wake up, then 2 weeks of 30 mins then wake up etc.

 

You are doing a lot of great things by bringing in toys from home maybe bring in pictures of you and your husband laminated for the baby to hold. We had children who screamed and screamed every day all day, redirecting them to other toys, games/ activities is the best thing the daycare provider can do.

 

Sometimes kids just want their parents and that’s that. It can happen for weeks, and stop. It can happen for months and then stop. Only once did it never stop and the parents pulled the child from our care to stay home with them.

 

Children arent identical. No two children need the same things. Im curious what happened to trigger the change from happy to these behaviors. Are they trained in Early Childhood Education? If you have any specific questions feel free to PM me.

 

Post # 5
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

If this was a facility then I would say it would definitley be a no-go on the two naps. Facility’s DO have a set schedule that is set in place by state mandated standards. Also, it would be difficult for him to nap because children usually stay in one room and all of the children are together. However, seeing as this is a person’s home, I do not see why she couldn’t just let him nap in another room away from the other children. And it is concerning that he was fine for a little while and has just now started to return to the screaming and crying. I work in childcare and this behavior usually only tends to last 2 weeks at most. If the provider is loving, patient, and kind the child will eventually calm down. I think it is time to find a new daycare 🙁 sometimes, you have to shop around a bit before you find the one that best suits your childs needs.  

Post # 6
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

From the outside perspective, it sounds like the daycare provider might not be the best fit for what your child needs right now. Given her unwillingness to manage the baby’s routine, her seeming to be stressed and not willing to try different things to help fix the situation. 

 

I’d go with your gut on this one. Are there other daycare options you can explore?

Post # 7
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sunshine09:  this is not normal separation anxiety and I think you hit the nail on the head with routine. I would think that a home provider would be more flexible in nap times. Maybe it is unusual for a child your son’s age to need two naps but it isn’t a crazy notion. He need that nap and depriving home of it is throwing off his entire day. I think you are correct in assuming that he is over tired by the time he does get to his nap which is why it is unsuccessful. I worked in childcare for many years before I started nursing (where I also work with children) and this is not a common problem for kids. He should have adjusted by now. 

The only thing I can suggest, short of finding a new care provider, is trying to eliminate the 1st nap from your home routine but that is really no preferable here.  I think it is best for your child if you find a new care situation where his individual needs can be met. Have you looked into a private nanny?

Post # 8
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

I have am 11 month old in daycare. I read until the part about the naps and I got angry. 6am is EARLY for that age, he needs another nap and your daycare provider should be allowing for him to nap. I would be looking for a new daycare. My daughter has had a few hard days here and there and we’re always jointly looking on how to make her day better. It’s hard enough as a mom to have to bring your child to daycare, I can’t imagine how hard it’s been when your provider tells you every day is a bad day.

 

Post # 10
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sunshine09:  The lack of sleep is most likely the cause of all the other behaviours, not eating etc as the child is mentally exhausted and therefore unwilling, frustrated and grumpy. Poor little one!! I reccomend looking for other care if possible. 

Post # 11
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

Ok I went back and finished reading your whole post since this situation really hits home with me. I think it’s your provider that is the problem. When we first started at our current daycare the main woman in the infant room was not my favorite (and that’s putting it nicely). She seemed detached from the kids and on one occasion when I showed up to pick up my daughter I found her kind of like bitching to herself about a crying baby. It really rubbed me the wrong way. I mean in order for you to work at a daycare you have to REALLY really love kids and your job and it was just apparent to me that this woman did not. On another occasion, I walked in to find my SUPER EASY GOING HAPPY  baby sitting alone on the floor (before she could crawl) while this same woman played with the only other child in the room who was super happy and babbling away. All the toys had been cleaned and put away for the day and they had not given her a bottle in over three hours. She was hungry, bored and ignored. I WAS MAD. Fortunately the woman that was there left her job the next day and the two women that came in as her replacements have kept me at the same center and have made a HUGE difference in how my daughter responds to going to daycare. These two new providers are just warm people and really are loving. There’s no more teary good-byes in the morning or finding a hungry ignored child at the end of the day. She claps and waved when we arrive. This is how a child should be responding to people she sees 80% of the week. It took about one to two weeks for me to see a change in my daughter with the new providers. So long story short, I would defintely be looking for a new center.

Post # 13
Member
6623 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Your provider is not being flexible. We have our 3 year old in a in home licensed daycare. She lets the kids nap when they need to nap. For example at that age my son still needed 2 naps. He was able to nap those times. I would try to find a new provider that is flexible on routines

Post # 14
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Unfortunately, if the baby is anywhere besides his own home, then he’s going to have to adapt.  Even if he goes to a different daycare center/home, there’s going to be other kids and the teachers have to keep schedules or else there’s too much chaos.

In your case it sounds like he might be best suited to have a nanny that can watch him at your home.

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