Post # 1
I saw the thread today asking people about their biggest wedding regrets, and many, many women commented to follow and thanked other brides profusely for sharing because it provided valuable insight. Although this is a personal and intimate subject, I thought we could maybe start a thread just like that one, but focused on the MARRIAGES instead.
We’ve all heard the ‘statistics’–50% divorce rate in this day and age. Many bees have been posting on here for years, from Waiting, to The Engagement, to the wedding, then home buying, babies, and more. Some have suffered great losses, some marriages have fallen apart, some have moved across the country or even the world, many are still very, very happy.
I want the updates, I want the stories, I want to hear about your highs and lows. I want to hear your regrets. I want advice that you give to all future married couples. I want to hear how youd change things if you could grow back. What has challenged you the most as a married couple? Did marriage change anything? Do you still have a marriage? If you do and it is happy, how are you staying happy?
Most of all, I want this thread to stay as respectful as possible, and be a space for venting, advice, support, AND shameless bragging about the best and happiest things that have happened to you.
So ladies, some may call this nosy but tell us…whether youve been married a few weeks, a few months, or years…how is your marriage???
Post # 2
It’s only been ~4 months for us. Marriage is great, the relationship hasn’t changed much at all since before the wedding, but we had already lived together for over a year by that point.
The biggest struggle we’ve had is that we were TTC, got pregnant, and then lost the pregnancy. I spiraled into a big depression and gained 15 lbs pretty quickly. That obviously has an impact on how I feel about myself, but I still feel that our marriage is very strong. We survived a loss that soon after the wedding, and he was my rock through it all!
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens
ChicoryCreek: This is a great thread. I can’t wait to follow the responses. I don’t have much to add right now as we are NEWLYWEDS (married just under 2 months). But I will say that getting married and saying our vows was such an eye opening moment for both of us and we now take extra measures to help make sure our union is successful.
Post # 4
We’ve gone through a rough time, but it wasn’t our relationship. Our relationship has gotten better. There has been times where it felt like the only positive thing I had going for me.
Post # 5
I have been married a mere 7 weeks and I am ashtray filing for divorce.. Sadly, my biggest regret is actually getting married :-/ We had some issues before but I don’t know what happened after we got married. it’s been the most horrible 7 weeks of my life and he has truly shown me I do not mean anything to him. This is not at all how I would expect this to be.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza
We’ve been married for only 10 months (1 year in September!) and everything is going great. Like a PP we dated and lived together for many years before getting married, so not much changed after. We were able to setting in to our new home after the wedding which is wonderful – it’s our first home for both of us and we love working on projects together. Also, we did decide to get a puppy together, which has definitely been challenging and exciting – she’s a real handful.
Post # 7
ChicoryCreek: It’s only been 2.5 months, so no time to really fall apart or get rocky. I do expect the rocky times, and the adventurous times.
We’re in the process of selling the home I brought into the marriage and finding a new house that can be ours. He’s in the process of looking for a new job because the one he has makes him miserable. We’re hoping to join the big adventure of TTC & rearing a household sometime soon.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We’re coming on on our 3rd wedding anniversary and we are stronger than ever. The last 14 months have been trying, and we are finally starting to come out of that period. We’ve dealt with a job change that lead to some workaholic issues, a chronic illness, a significant lifestyle change to address said chronic illness, and being on very different sides of the TTC fence. We’ve argured more in the last year than we have in the previous 4 years of our relationship combined. And we’ve weathered it all together. We show up to our marriage every single day with love in our hearts and patience in our heads. I am more in love with Mr. Lk now, after bearing witness to how he has fought for us, than I ever was before. It’s easy to be in love when things are generally smooth sailing. It’s much harder when you are at odds on a huge, life-altering, emotionally charged issue. So to know that he was willing to work through all of that for me and with me… that makes him even more amazing in my eyes. I never doubted that he was the right life partner for me, but he still manages to confirm that conclusion every single day. I’m so glad that I married him.
Post # 9
ChicoryCreek: Well, my current marriage is GREAT! I finally made the right choice. We’ve only been married a couple months, but have been living together 2 years. He’s a KIND person. That’s so important. He’s just a good, good person.
I have been divorced and the only advice I’d give, well, a couple things.
1- if you see red flags, RUN. Don’t overlook them “because you love him”
2- if you do get married and it’s not working out, don’t be afraid to get out of the marriage. Life is way too short to put up with really bad stuff (assuming you worked on it).
Post # 10
Married 2 months here. We’ve had some challenges in relation to his mother and father. However, he is improving how he handles them.
Our relationship is pretty similar to pre- wedding. We are happy. We miss each other a lot due to our shifts. But we are happy. We have struggles but none are directly a relationship issue, it is outside sources causing conflict. We have a good understanding of each other right now.
Post # 11
Andthepupmakes3: Im so sorry you guys went through that, but its amazing youre working through it together. Best of luck to both of you and I wish a stork to fly upon you very, very soon! 😉
BreezyBride24: I can imagine the vows are a very powerful moment. Congrats on your new marriage!
Post # 12
Been married for almost 9 months and it’s been wonderful. We started our marriage living together for the first time as well as in a different state. It’s been fun, exciting, BUSY, and really the best time of our lives. We went on a belated honeymoon to France in May, and got a puppy in June. The only hard time we both had was missing home, our family and hometown friends. We’re a great team and work well together at home. I’m a lucky girl and very happily married!
Post # 13
AB Bride: Im glad your marriage was your anchor 🙂
JazzyGirl85: I just got finished reading your thread about this. Was it really like taking a mask off? I dont understand how he went so long acting like someone else and fooling you. How long did you know him before your marriage?
Post # 14
Well, we are newly married, almost 3 months, and are still getting the post wedding question: ‘How is Married Life?!’ And my response, THE SAME!!!
I was blissfully happy before the engagement, thru the engagement, and feel the exact same way post marriage. (We, too, lived together for 1.5 years before we were married…) What I mean by blissfully happy is that even when he irritates me, or annoys me, or pisses me off (which, he does), he is the only person I want to be irritated at, or annoyed with, and then lay down in bed next to him. Beyond that, we returned to our normal day-to-day life with new shiny rings on our fingers – marking the biggest ‘change’ in our lives!
With that said, there is a bit of an internal struggle that nothing, at all, changed!! I did not expect us to change, or things to change really, but I guess I thought I would feel different. It was quite shocking to – post marital events – wake up at the same time, do the same things, head into work, come home, cook dinner, etc. Maybe I expected a ‘honeymoon’ period to last longer?!
I had gotten over that ‘disappointment’ quickly, and now I can say that there is definitely a greater feeling of safety. I have a husband, and together we will conquer the world, and this relationship – because we are legally bound and cannot just walk away quickly!
It sounds so cliche, but it is honest
Post # 15
The last year has probably been the hardest for us, but nothing to do with our relationship, just the situations we’ve been put through. TTC since we were married almost 3 years ago, a miscarriage in August which of course broke both of our hearts, and we’re both still hurting from it. I just can’t seem to move on, and not getting pregnant since has been really hard. A lot of tears, but DH has been such a rock. I was also laid off from a job that I loved in March and started a new job which I hated and put me into a bit of a depression. I would come home from work and just mope around all night and it was really starting to put a toll on both of us because I’m normally so positive. I don’t mind it now, and I started taking the courses to become a real estate agent, so I have a plan that is getting me through. My DH was also at a low point with his career – after being with his company for 11 years and being promised many things which never happened, and seeing all his best buds leave the company, he didn’t know what he was going to do. Luckily due to new management, he’s loving his job again and is actually excited about it again. We also both lost a grandpa in 2012. But we are just as strong as ever, and I really do love him more every day.