Post # 1
I’ve never really been a ‘baby person’ – I understand from a lot of folks that this will change when I have my own kids, and that’s fine, but for now, well, I just don’t really know what to do with a baby. I’m capable of changing diapers, giving bottles, etc., but have never held a baby younger than a few months, and don’t naturally gravitate towards babies the way many of my friends do.
I guess you could say I’m more of a parent person than I am a baby person, if that makes sense. (To clarify, just in case anyone misunderstands, I do NOT dislike babies, I just feel no particular affinity towards them. Clear?)
This weekend, I’ve signed up to drop off a meal for a couple from our church who just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I’m really excited to see the couple, but kind of nervous that they’re going to be like, “Do you want to hold the baby?” because, well, I don’t really want to hold the baby. I don’t know how to hold a newborn, I don’t have the natural reaction to coo at babies and talk funny to them the way I see most women do, and when I’ve held older babies in the past, generally it’s just been awkward for everyone involved, because I’m uncomfortable, the baby is uncomfortable, and the parents quickly become uncomfortable.
Is there a polite way to say, “Oh no, that’s okay.” when/if I’m asked whether I’d like to hold her? If not, how do I graciously give back the baby after holding her for a few minutes? Help! I’m baby-clueless!
Post # 3
If they offer, just laugh and say something along the lines of “Oh, thank you so much – he’s just precious but I’m all thumbs and I’m terrified of holding tiny babies!”
I doubt they’ll insist after that!
Post # 4
I don’t see why you can’t say no to holding a baby. I think they would prefer the baby being held by someone who knows how to hold it instead of someone who doesn’t and is uncomfortable around babies.
Post # 5
I am sure if you said ” I am sorry, he is a real sweetie, but I am just not comfortable holding new babies” or something along those lines they won’t be mad or pressure you. I know I wouldn’t pressure someone who said they were nervous to hold my newborn 🙂
Post # 6
I’m uncomfortable around any baby except for my own, so I can understand. I’m not a baby person at all. If they offer, just say ‘no thank you’. I know it sounds awkward, but I don’t think they would fault you for it. The only time I’ve ever offered someone to hold my daughter is when they obviously want to, such as my MIL, mother, or SILs. The only other time is when someone (obviously someone I know) asks to hold her.
I know how strange it is. My MOH basically plopped her 6 week old in my lap when I saw her once. I just kind of sat there like ‘what am I supposed to do?’ until she took him back. Even when I saw her son about 4 months later, I never asked to hold him, and she didn’t offer. I think she knew I was uncomfortable with it.
Post # 7
1 – she, not he 🙂
2 – oh my freaking gosh! you guys are amazing – I totally thought there was no polite/inoffensive way to say no thanks, and I so, so, so appreciate the reassurances!!! YAY!!! (and THANK YOU!)
3 – So, because I find babies and pregnancy fascinating (I really do! just not sure if I want my own, definitely sure I’m not ready yet!), I read this board pretty regularly (as evidenced by my number of idiot-questions, haha), and end up knowing waaaaay more than I should about pregnancy, send my pregnant friends emails about sales on bumGenius diapers, etc. and this friend in particular is CONVINCED that I’ve got the baby bug and keeps hinting that she “knows” we’re TTC now that we’re married. Nothing could be further from the truth though, haha. Maybe after she sees how awkward I am around her daughter tomorrow, she’ll finally get it that I’m not lying when I deny having caught the baby bug!
Post # 8
I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I’m the same way, I’m also NOT a baby person and never understood the whole hub bub about babies. I’ve refused plenty of times to hold newborns, all I’ve said was no that I wasn’t comfortable holding newborns (still haven’t held one in my life time and I am only 21) no matter who’s baby it is. My family understands this, and friends have been good about it which I appreciate. As for my boyfriend, he understands that I’m uncomfortable holding newborns but doesn’t understand why I dislike babies so much. If I had a newborn or a baby and someone refused to hold my baby, I would understand and tell them of what I was like (IF I ever have a baby). When you honestly think about it, which would you rather? Someone hold the baby and be uncomfortable the whole time holding the baby? Or, someone hold the baby and be comfortable and relaxed about it?