Post # 1
Like the title says, this is really just a rant to get it out of my system, because I know if I complain about it to DH, it’ll just make him feel bad. Also, I have no intention for anything to change and it’s not even that big of a deal. You’ve been warned!
So my husband’s best friends (and a pretty good friend of mine too) is getting married next month. He’s been dating her a while, and the crazy part is he’s marrying one of my marching band students from years ago. Luckily it’s the only one I liked! 🙂 Anyway, DH and I have both been super supportive and helpful through his dating life and are very excited to see him settle down.
We helped him stage a big proposal. Okay, let me rephrase. He was cluless, I made it pretty and beautiful and wonderful. I worked my butt off the night and day before for him, with a couple of friends help, and staged and picture perfect proposal with both photos and a nice recording of it as well. It was lovely. The good news? DH is in the bridal party along with EVERYONE else who helped.
Me? They gave me the job of being the “reception photographer” cuz they don’t want to have to pay a professional to walk around and take pictures of people there. Oh, but don’t worry, “I can be in some pictures with the party, if I want.”
GAH. Like I said, just a rant and it’s not that big of a deal, I just feel snubbed after putting in that much work and such for them. I know that being in the party isn’t something obligatory for hard working friends, but still. It’s lame.
Post # 3
You should help them for the sake of helping them and because you love them, not to try and get in the wedding party.
Post # 4
I think it would be odd if you were in the bridal party for your husband’s best friend. Also, since it’s a former student. All they really owe you is a thank you.
Post # 5
@GooteyBootey: I don’t think this “snub” would be as noticable if they didn’t include EVERYONE ELSE who helped except you. That’s a little weird… but like you said, it’s no big deal, but I see where you’re coming from.
Post # 6
@GooteyBootey: Hope you feel better after the rant.
Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it doesn’t sound like you are really close to her, and she is the one who picks the BM’s.
Luckily it is never an expectation that we pick your BM’s based on who helps the most with the proposal.
Post # 7
@GooteyBootey: I completely understand. It seems you were willing to do all of that for them, but their actions show they might not value the friendship or appreciate how much you helped. I’d just re-assess how much I’d be willing to help them in the future. I’m sure they have their reasons and it isn’t being spiteful but I just wouldn’t go out of my way to help out so much again!
Post # 8
@ValerieBee03: That’s what I thought. It got really awkward when we were all together talking about the bridal party and plans and I was the only one not included. As said, it’s not a big deal, but it still doesn’t feel very good.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I would have declined and told them that I’d rather just be a guest and enjoy the wedding than to have to work.
Post # 10
I would also decline the “invite” to photograph the reception. “While I may snap a few photos and I will certainly send you anything I take, I don’t feel comfortable taking on a huge responsiblity like wedding photography.”
Post # 11
Generally it is wise not to do things for others with expectations of something in return, but rather because we want to help them.
I don’t think you’re in any way obligated to be the reception photographer though. Personally, I’d rather enjoy myself then be tied down to a camera all night. I’d tell them you have to pass on that one.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
I’m with a couple of PPs, I can understand you not being in the bridal party, but to ask you to work seems just rude, IMO.
I would politely decline.
Post # 13
@LMD: that was my first thought.
Post # 14
Yeah, you are under no obligation to work at their reception as a photographer. That is not a bridal party or wedding party duty.
Post # 15
@GooteyBootey: I’d be like, “I get the shakes so I can’t take pics!” and just enjoy being a guest. Wedding parties are over rated!
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
@thenewmrsmax: +1. So much pressure in someone’s wedding photography…and you won’t get to relax and have fun!