Post # 1
The headline may be confusing 🙂 One of my bridesmaids just had her destination wedding a few weeks ago and did not have any bridesmaids. She told I am a “would be” bridesmaid, as in if she had a wedding at home, I “would have been one.” I ended up not going to her destination wedding at the last minute b/c I was recovering from the flu. She luckily, understood and wasn’t upset.
Here’s my question: She spent $150 on her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for my wedding and contributed $100 towards my shower (not sure if she is having a shower), and spent about $200 on a wedding gift. I feel that I should spend more for her wedding gift, since I didn’t have to buy a dress for hers. She is having a home reception in the summer and I was planning on giving a gift to her then (that’s what she prefers I think). Should I match what she overall spent on me? For reference, average wedding gift for a friend is about $200. The Hubs doesn’t think so, but I think he is wrong!
Post # 3
I don’t think that you necessarily need to “match” what she spent on you, but I think that you should get her something nice that you can afford. Maybe there is something extra special on her registry that she would want? Or maybe, there is something that you loved as a wedding gift that you would like for her to have as well.
Post # 4
i would but that is just who i am. if you are really close which it sounds like u are i would pick one of the expensive gifts off the registry or a check for the amount..
Post # 5
@Mrs. Cooper: i don’t think you need to match, per se, but I would definitely pick out one of the nicer things on her registry that show that you care, and know what she really wants!
Post # 6
I was thinking about buying her the kitchenaid mixer from her registery as I know she would love it. It’s about $350 but with the 20% to BBD, I can get it around $270. Is that too cheap? Should I spend more?
Post # 7
DH’s sister and her fiance were in our wedding, but we weren’t in theirs. They gave us $300, and we spent about $100 per person on wedding party gifts, and paid for their hotel for three nights otherwise they couldn’t afford to come, and DH’s parents paid for their attire. They then had a destination wedding, and we gave them $100, and felt like that was fair enough, considering it cost us a lot of money to have them at our wedding AND to attend theirs.
Post # 8
There is no reason for you to ‘match’ her contribution to your wedding. If you went to the Destination Wedding, I especially think you don’t need to spend as much on the gift. Even if you did not attend, just buy her something you can afford.
Post # 9
@Mrs. Cooper: No, I think the mixer is very generous! Presumably you’re getting her a “thank you for being a BM” gift, too, to thank her for buying her dress & throwing your shower, so I don’t think you necessarily have to spend $450 on a wedding gift for the sake of being “even”.
Post # 10
I totally don’t think you have to match. BMs pretty much know they’re going to go above and beyond, and not having them means that you’re not having people in those roles, if that makes sense. I think the mixer would be a lovely gift, though, and definitely generous!