Not a bridesmaid. Drama.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@pinkrose23:  Tell her that you were hurt after your fight and didn’t think that you would resolve your differences. You moved on and picked other people. Its your wedding, you get to make that decision. If she can’t accept that, I wonder if its worth salvaging the friendship. 

Post # 4
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@pinkrose23:  I guess my questions is, what did this friend of yours do that was so very awful and horrendous?  It seems like she’s an important person, you’ve always pictured her being in your wedding, she seems just as invested…I wonder if your decision regarding whether or not to ask her to be an attendant isn’t somethin better decided AFTER the two of you have this discussion.

Post # 5
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

well my dear, this is a tough one. Weirdly enough, i am going through the same thing.

 

Unfortunately, if she dont understand the situation and decides not to come to the wedding because she isnt in your party, that should be a deciding factor for you. But dont make any decisions yet, sleep on your discussion with her when you meet. THink about it and decide after. Everyone makes mistakes and regrets things they do and if you feel you can move forward, than maybe you will want her there with you. 

Just remember everything happens for a reason and do things with ration. 

Post # 6
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Nona99:  +1!

Not trying to minimize what the fight was about, or your hurt feelings, but friends fight all the time. It sounds like the two of you value each other’s friendship enough to resolve it and hopefully move on. Just keep this in mind…..you only get married once. Assuming you two work it out, will you look back and think to yourself, wow I was being silly, she should have been a bridesmaid? 

Did you previously ask her to be a bridesmaid before the fight? I ask because if you didn’t then I’m not entirely sure why you have to tell her she can’t be a bridesmaid. It sounds like that conversation would complicate what your original fight in the first place. Personally, I would meet with the girl, talk stuff out, and not bring up the wedding.

I guess what I am saying is go into it with an open mind and not plan to bring up the wedding at all. If push comes to shove and you have to have the conversation with her at some point then just say “Jane, we were in the midst of a terrible fight. I wasn’t sure what happened to our friendship and I had to move forward with the plans. It was a very difficult decision.”

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