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I'm going to challenge myself not to say anything about getting married for three months - so until Christmas, basically. I've noticed an alarming trend in our relationship where talk of getting engaged has become something of an annoyance to him, which is obviously the exact opposite of what it should be. He knows what timeline I'm comfortable with, he knows my feelings about the subject, and I just don't think there's anything else to say about it now that wouldn't just be me pestering him. So, I'm going to just keep mum on the whole subject.
So, anyone else want to jump on the "not talking about marriage" train with me and pledge not to say ONE WORD about getting married until Christmas?
I will join!! It will be hard especially since I really want to hit him upside the head with a huge e-ring so he can see the light! But yes, I won't bring up marriage ever! lol
I did this to my fiance and a few months later he proposed because he was afraid to lose me, lol. Silly boy 
I wish I could, but I failed the 2 week challege miserably. I will stop talking about it for as long as I possibly can!
I'm down! So is this no wedding/engagement talk at all? Or just no when will we get engaged?
OK, I'm in. I'm going to try my hardest since today I was gonna bug my BF to go look at rings lol 
@crebre80, I'm going to remove wedding/engagement/when? from my vocabulary completely. Unless it's like, "so and so invited us to a wedding," it will not be a topic of conversation. I can see that it would be a little harder if it's part of your job, though!
I'm on board ladies! I've been rockin the zipped lips for a while now and our relationship definitely feels lighter, happier, and much less prone to me feeling all stabby :) Added bonus, much like little ms. violet, the boy is now the one dropping hints....
Here's hoping I can make it through the end of the year.... no promises though :)
I'm in! I'm helping 2 friends with weddings, so it's really hard not to relate everything to how 'i would want it' when i talk to him about the planning.. to him (and me) it comes across more like this:'i wish we were getting married so i could put together our wedding and not everyone else's wedding!'
Ha... good luck to me and everybody else!
I've done this but HE REFUSES TO QUIT discussing things.
I throw my hands up.
Love the man so much but he's gotta slip it on soon or else I won't have adequate planning time.
I'll do it with you guys!!!
I can totally see me on Christmas morning though, wearing my Nick & Nora Sock Monkey Pajamas, all the presents are opened, wrapping paper on the floor, and then all my head spins around and I spew out eggnog and rage:
WHERE IS MY RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG????????????????????????
But what do we do when he brings it up? Like "I can't wait to marry you!"
I think I'll try for a month first. 3 months is a long time. Especially since he just told me recently it will be "sooner than you think"!
lol yeah it is hard since he is my sounding board on all things male related in weddings, but i can bring it up in the context of a client and he would be cool. i have stopped speaking about when we get married because we have so much other stuff going on (moving, custody issues etc)
I actually brought it up last night but he is really being so tight-lipped! He will talk all day about planning but it seems like when I ask, "So did you buy the ring yet?" He turns and gives me this angry look and says I am not telling you! 
So I won't be bringing up anything about weddings.
**Sidenote*** But I have received two phone calls this week saying that two of my friends have gotten engaged! (SO HAPPY BUT SAD AT THE SAME TIME)
@chaotic bliss: that has to be hard!! most of my friend's is married and i secretly want my best friend/cousin to be engaged before me because she's older and would take it hard if i were engaged first but she's not in a relationship at the moment :(.... and for some reason i really am over the engagement affliction. I have no idea what happened but I am seriously over it. I am just really happy I mean I have spent the best 16 months of my life with this man and it seems like we only started dating yesterday!! I have been in LTR before but they felt like it was a long time lol! I love being loved by M and loving him.
@texaslawgirl- omg the visual i just got. you should youtube that, seriously!
@msmamabear- my bf started up with that. we were at a wedding and HE kept saying "we should do this at ours we should do that" to the point where someone at the table asked us when the date was. So I looked directly at my bf, then at the nice person who had asked and said: we don't have a date because i don't have a ring and he hasn't asked!
he started up again a few min later and i told him: i'm not talking about the wedding until there is a wedding to talk about
that put the kibosh on that :) he still hints, but we have had not open discussions really about the wedding since then (may).
@corgitales: way to go! I probably would have snidely remarked: Yes M when is the date? Am I invited?
He knows he has until Christmas...or the day after new year (at the very very last second) to do that b/c I require 8 mos at a minimum and if it's not there by then then it will not happen in 2010.
And I might take a hiatus from the r if it doesn't then b/c I am not waiting forever, and there are things that have to be done, it's not like I can up and move tomorrow or something and my son can either. Schools, home to move, etc.
He knows and if he doesn't by then..woe is he.
He had best not get on my last nerve and wait until then.
The thing that is honestly bothering me now is this..I am sadly feeling that it's taking the romance out of things now. I am not mentioning it. He still is, and I am just not dealing with him on it. My sis has already flown into planning mode and says that "we have to do SOMETHING now and at least have some basics totally out of the way planned b/c HE IS TAKING TOO LONG."
Grrrr. When sis says that, you know it's the truth!
((HUGS)) Belle! I am sure that it is coming. He is probably finalizing all of the details and getting you a much better ring than you could have ever imagined! And I can't wait to see pix :P
Can I join in even though I've got a ring? FI won't even talk about planning right now, and avoids wedding talk altogether. Maybe if I don't mention it until Christmas, he will want to get a move on!
I feel like even though I've got the ring, i'm still waiting. I relate more to you all's posts so much more!
I would totally LOVE to do this, except that we don't talk about it at all. BUT I could not talk about it to my friends! Because I have to talk about with SOMEONE.... but I've actually not mentioned anything to anyone in about 4 days...kind of record! Hoping I can keep it up. I wish we could have a little "cuss box" type set up on here where we could throw in a dime for every time we mention engagements/weddings/marriage...
lrwedd, that's a brilliant (and original) idea.
Everyone always gives up chocolate... that's going too far :)
Im in!!!! I think it will happen anyways by Christmas so this is def an attainable goal for me :)
Hmm...I don't know if I can handle all the way until Christmas!! Plus, I think he might do it before then, and I still have a couple more pointers I need to give him regarding ring shopping! But I'm going to start with a month and see how that goes. :)
I AM SO IN!! I actually was thinking about doing this anyways...so now that i have some fellow bees doing it with me maybe it will be tolerable! We have picked out my ering...so now its just waiting...and no need to talk about it with him anymore! and i think i was annoying him and making him feel pressured also...so as long as i have weddingbee to talk wedding when i want to... i think i can do this!!!
@flipflop: ick money... he probably wants you to have a lavish soiree because he thinks that you want it and you deserve it and he is afraid he can't afford to give you what he'd like for you to have so he doesn't want to discuss it. (am i on point?) you should probably mention that you don't want to spend a huge amount of money because you have to live after the wedding and you want to be comfortable after the wedding.
I'm already engaged, but my advice? Only talk about engagement if HE brings it up! That way, you're not annoying him and also not brushing it off as if you don't want it!
You should create a poll to see if any of you ladies are able to make it until Christmas or get engaged before Christmas. It should be interesting to see your results :)
@remi: that's a good idea (we already have the engagement chicken one) to see if those of us that made it will get engaged in six months (i am pretty sure i won't) but hey i guess we'll see. i can promise you that there is no way i'll be getting engaged anytime soon because of our finances so it's a relief because it's like whew okay i'm sure he won't ask so i can focus on organizing our home!!
Goodness I NEED to do that. For real. I got my blue nile sing sizer in the mail today and it slipped out... "I got the ring sizer in the mail today!" and the boyfriend laughed and said "wow... that was subtle." He wasn't mad, but I am ITCHING to go ring shopping! I dont think I could do it, though, because I'm obnoxious.
I'm in! Not a word. Not a peep. Not a single suggestion. Not a dropped hint or raised eyebrow.
...Unless he brings it up. Communication is important, right? 
Fingers crossed for a 2009 proposal!
I'm already out! Gosh darn-it.....i guess ill start over.
starting.......now.
@KMSull- I got my ring sizer in the mail today tooooo!!! I hid mine in my car though lol
I'M IN TOO!! 
I already started (but miserably failed) my personal challenge- I told bf I wouldn't mention getting engaged until he suggested we go looking at rings seriously. It lasted for about a week... so maybe a little hive group effort is just what I need!
i already started with not mentioning it .one week so far, i havent even mentioned anything wedding related or what i would like etc.i figure got enough time for that later on to drive him nuts ..and oh boy do I plan to drive him nuts hahhahaa
@corgi: LMBO!! that's hilarious... i think i want jewelry for christmas (and another right hand ring) i love jewelry
What an awesome response! For me a little bit of accountability goes a long way, so I'm pumped that we can stick together on this. Hang in there everyone!!
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