Post # 1
My SO and I live fairly far away from each other. Because of this, we spend a lot of time on the phone together, since we can’t see each other all the time.
Lately I feel like a lot of our phone conversations become stupid arguments. Sometimes it will start because there will be an awkward pause and then we will get into an argument over who should bring up a new topic…like I said, really dumb. Sometimes I feel like we inadvertently get into these arguments just to have something to talk about. Not that I’m trying to say we have nothing to talk about, it’s just when you talk everyday after work, there’s nothing super exciting to mention all the time, just the same old stuff but different day type of thing.
Another thing I hate about the phone is that you can’t see the person and so all you have to go off of is tone, and that can often be mistaken for something it wasn’t meant to be.
Does anyone else have these types of phone issues? Or, does anyone have really good phone conversations with their SO and have any tips to share?
Post # 3
Could you skype instead? I hate talking on the phone but somehow skype isn’t as bad to me. At least then you can see the person
Post # 4
@dontstopbeelievin: I don’t have much to add except to commiserate — my husband, god bless him, spends a lot of his daytime hours bored (he’s in the Army and we’re moving to another base soon, so someone else has basically already taken over his job). So how does he entertain himself? He calls me. Constantly. He will call me eight times in a day, and sometimes he has some quick piece of information to share, but other times he has nothing at all to say. He just wants me to entertain him.
So, yeah, lots of long moments of silence. We live together; it’s not like I suddenly have new topics of conversation! It’s pretty annoying, but what can I do — I love the guy and I’m glad he likes to talk to me so much, even if we have nothing to talk about
Post # 5
My H and I are currently long distance. We prevent these kinds of issues by limiting the amount of time we talk on the phone. We stay on the phone long enough to share about our day and things that are going on in our lives and talk about our relationship, but we make sure to end the conversation so we don’t run out of things to talk about or feel like we’re spending all our free time on the phone.
Post # 6
I am a girl who went from seeing her guy almost everyday to not at all and I HATE talking on the phone. What worked for us was texting, I know it’s not the same but neither is talking on the phone. We would only call eachother when something really interesting or when we had something to talk about as soon as silence hit it was “well I’m gonna get off now, I’ll text you in an hour or so :)” If you don’t like texting then plan out what you want to talk about and if you starrt to run silent get off asap! It sucks not seeing him but if the phone is causing the problem then something needs to be switched up. Good luck and i hope everything works out 🙂
Post # 7
There are books of questions, hypotheticals, either ors, etc. Maybe pick one up and agree to answer 1 or 2 or night. Itll give you something to talk about and maybe you will learn a bit about each other in the process.
Post # 8
I’m so glad you posted – I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. For me, having the flexibility to get off the phone after a short call (10min-ish) seems to help. And sometimes we talk much longer, but not often. I just don’t like the phone when I don’t have much new to say!
@ThreeMeers: Yes, books! I ordered a couple on amazon (1001 questions to ask before you get married, and questions for couples), and SO and I both really enjoy answering the questions! We’ll do some over the phone, or on long drives, or while we’re hanging out in a park (if I happened to bring one of the books in my purse). It sparks interesting and meaningful conversation, and is also a really neat way to talk about some of the deeper issues!
Post # 9
@MrsFeatherbottom: We just tried video called and I think I prefer this, too. It feels a lot more personal than the phone.
@ThreeMeers: @whydoesithurt: Thanks so much for the books suggestion! I never would have thought of that, that is really a great idea.
Thanks to everyone who replied. I’m hopeful this problem will get better, and if nothing else it feels good to know that others can relate! 🙂
Post # 10
Do you text a lot during the day? I found that if I text SO less we have more to talk about later in person or on the phone. So maybe less text= more talk?