- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
my friend sara and i got engaged within 2 months of eachother last year. we have been great friends about 5 years (we met because we were dating guys who were roommates). ive always considered her a very close friend. she has a daughter who i pick up from school from time to time and if i were to run out of gas i know i could count on her for help. we used to hang out everyday until she started her new job, i even have a key to her house!
when we got engaged she was the first person i told and the first person i asked to be a bridesmaid. i have other close friends too, but she was always around when fiance and i first started dating so i was excited to tell her. It was a little awkward when she didnt ask me back but back then it didnt bother me. she mentioned in different conversations that she wanted a specific number of people and that she had to include her sister and her close friends she has had since grade school, and her cousin. Then she added in this other girl who she complains about ALL the time. I had no idea they were that close because i never saw them hang out and never heard anything about her except complaints. I was shocked she picked her over me but thats my problem.
Here is the awkward part. She complains about all of her maids non-stop. Anytime we chat she is complaining about how she fights with her sister, no one is helping or buying their dresses etc. Then she complains to me that her fiance wants her to choose another maid! I was thinking “ooh maybe she has room for me afterall!” but no, she went on to say that she never planned on having more than 5 girls total and that she told him no. That showed me that she must have no clue that i might be upset i wasnt a maid? I don’t see how she could be that oblivious since i asked her to be in my wedding so i must think of her as a close friend ya?
She is so busy planning her own wedding (and stressing about everything) that she has not been able to get together at all in months. She finally agreed to meet me for coffee yesterday and i realized, once i got there, it was only because she needed a ride to work :-/. One of my maids lives out of state and will only be in town once before the wedding. I told sara months in advance that i wanted to look at bm dresses the weekend she was here (so she could get off work). She didnt even try! She says whatever we pick out she will just buy online.
I know i am being dumb but i cant help feel jealous by the millions of facebook posts by her bridesmaids ALL the time, about lunchs and dinners and their dress shopping (she has already chosen her BM dresses now) that i am not a part of and she cant even make time for one dress shopping appt.
I shouldnt have asked a bride to be a bridesmaid, but do you think i should offer her to opt out of being one since she is so busy? And should i ever tell her that i am bummed she didnt choose me (although at this pt i realize maybe we saw our friendships differently, despite the fact that she only wanted 5 girls).
just need someone to tell me im overreacting so i can just move on!