Post # 1
my cousin asked my 1 sister, but not me or my other sister to be a bm. but the bride explicitly told me that she would never ask ANY of us because it was unfair to choose just 1 sister and not all 3. Funny thing is, she is only have 3 bm and 1 is co-worker who she has known for 6 months. also, my sister who was chosen has lived in France for the past 8 years and has not been inccomunicado with the bride (we are 26)… but I have been there taking day trips with her, dinners, and dress shopping. My sister and mother both feel my cousin is being “classless” and have said i have a much stronger relationship with the bride. my other sister, who was also not asked, is likewise hurt. The bride has yet to say anything to me or explain her decision. She asked my sister and left it up to my sister to convey the message. I don’t understand. My sister who was also not invited to be a BM thinks its because the bride is overweight and is self-conscious and prefers the sister who is more like her in stature…I have no other theories. I know she is the bride and it is her day, but I honestly do not wish to attend her wedding if she does not appreciate me enough to choose a 6 month co-worker and foreign soil sister over me.
Post # 3
I understand how that’s hurtful for you, but there are some positives here. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, and a lot of money. At least you won’t have to deal with buying a dress, shoes, jewelry, shower, bachelorette party, etc.
Post # 4
Choosing bridesmaids is a difficult and very personal decision. I’m sure she has her reasons for choosing who she chose, and it’s not very nice of you to be upset at her for her decisions. It hurts when you’re not chosen, trust me, been there, but no one has a “right” to be a bridesmaid. You should not cause her stress or try to retailiate at her for not choosing you or your other sister. It’s just a title, maybe just try to be supportive of her.
Post # 5
You seriously wouldn’t attend her wedding because of that? That’s kinda jacked.
I would be so happy not to have been asked…being a bridesmaid is such a pain in the butt!
I’m so glad I saved myself the drama of choosing amongst my girlfriends/hurting feelings and just picking my brother as my Man of Honor.
Post # 6
Wow… I’m sorry but your post just comes across as whiney and entitled. I truly hope you are just posting out of anger rather then what you really plan to do.
Post # 7
I agree with no one has the “right” to be a bridesmaid. She picked who she picked for her reasons. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate you. That is saying because I didn’t pick every single girl in my life that is one of my best friends then…I clearly don’t appreciate them. That isn’t how it is. I hope you are just posting out of anger too…and that you will still help her, be happy for her and attend the wedding.
Post # 8
I understand that you’re disappointed but don’t let it get the best of you. Be sad, shake it off, and get back to being happy for your cousin.
Post # 9
Honestly, you’re being extremely petty. And if you’re the type of friend to sit around and judge her choices, particularly ones like this that do not affect you and are none of your business whatsoever, and discuss it with your mom and actually go to the trouble of making an account to whine online about it, you don’t sound like such a great friend. Seriously, why can’t you just be happy for her and her wedding/marriage? Why the need to make it about you?
I mean really, ‘foreign soil sister’? And threatening to not attend the wedding? Whether or not you are in her wedding really should not affect you, and the drama you are trying to create is completely unnecessary. Let the grudge go. She is getting married and instead of having her family be happy for them she just gets them trying to stir up trouble over stupid crap. I feel bad for her.
Post # 10
You get to pick your bridesmaids, why can’t she do the same without such harsh critique? There’s a lot of stress in planning a wedding without this judgement from family. I’m sure she has valid reasons for choosing who she did.
Goto her wedding and enjoy yourself. There’s worse things in life than not being picked to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 11
The last wedding I was at, I wasn’t a bridesmaid, and I didn’t care one bit. I’ve been friends with her since grade school. She has other friends than me and she knows our strengths and weaknesses.
I may not have been chosen, but I was 100% fully supportive and excited about everything for her. That’s what I felt it’s all about. Surrounding her with love and positivity. It’s for her, not for me. Her vision, not mine.
In the end, being BM, MOH, what have you, doesn’t matter. It’s just a title, you should be happy she’s happy.
Post # 12
Maybe your cousin knows that you and your other sister think of her as overweight and jealous of your and doesn’t want people like that standing next to her on that important day?
Seriously, in a few months go back and read your post again. If you still agree with yourself, do your cousin a favor and let her have real friends who don’t think they are “owed” something for being there for her!
Post # 13
i agree with PPs, you should not refuse to attend the wedding because she didn’t pick you, there are several threads on here about brides dealing with people who get angry about not being chosen to be in the bridal party, and often comments are usually centred around a theme – if they choose not to come because of that, you’re better off without them.
if you refuse to go to your cousin’s wedding because of this, good luck keeping a relationship of any kind with her