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Is there something else you could do to honor her like having her do a reading? That way she doesn't have the responsibility but she still gets to feel apart of the wedding.
If she is unreliable do you want to trust her with your photography for your wedding? I guess it all depends on what you expect from your bridesmaids. My bridesmaids won't get her til probably 2 days before my wedding so everything will be done by then. All they would have to do is show up. Ask her if she is up for it or not
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, and hope they understand. I went through the same situation with my (supposed) BFF when choosing my bridal party. I wrote about it here if you want to read it.
She may take it badly, but you have to do what you feel is right.. and, hopefully she'll come around in the end.
Good luck!
I agree with a PP, if she isn't reliable enough to stand up as a bridesmaid, then you sure as heck don't wanna trust her with the photography!! The photos are one major thing I see a lot of brides talk/post about and how they wish they had focused more on that or have regret that they didn't get all the pics they wanted.
Also, you'll have a lot to stress about between now and the wedding... pick whatever will cause you the least stress, whether it's including her or not. It sounds like worrying about her reliability is one more thing that you could do without when you'll have a lot on your plate as it is, so include her in a role that doesn't "make or break" your day (just in case she flakes out on you).
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Hi,
I was wondering if anyone could help with some advice on my bridesmaid situation.
I have 2 close friends from my home town, however for the past year or so one of the friends has been very unreliable. I've only seen her maybe twice in that time and been let down time and time again when we made arrangements to meet up. We have known each other since we were little kids and I don't want to lose her as a friend as I'm sure it is a phase she will get past at some point.
The other girl has always been a very good friend and made time for me. I want to ask her to be a bridesmaid however if I ask her and not the other I feel it would really upset the 'unreliable' girl to the point where it may end our friendship. At the same time, it would be unfair to not have my 'reliable' friend as a bridesmaid through no fault of her own.
I was considering maybe insinuating that I can't stretch to have both of them as bridesmaids and asking her to do duty on the day instead (she's a photographer) however I'm worried that she might still be upset that I essentially chose the other over her.
Can anyone suggest a good way to handle this?