(Closed) not asking close friend to be a bridesmaid- touchy situation

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Why wouldn’t you ask your friend if she just wants to come along to the pedicure party? she’ll kmnow she’s a reader and if she flakes out, oh well! But if she’s still a good friend of yours, I can’t imaigne not wanting her there

Post # 4
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think the fact that you have family only as your bridesmaids really helps you out in the situation.  I would just explain to her that since you are having a small wedding, you wanted to keep the bridal party small and you have chosen to go the family-only route.  I think if you explain this to her, she wouldn’t mind joining you guys for the pedicures and stuff.  If I was her, I would understand and not feel slighted.

Post # 5
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

One, you shouldn’t feel guilty about the people you’ve chosen to stand up with you. Just tell her that you’re keeping it to family only, and you’re having a small wedding party. Just say it was a decision you and your FI made together.

Maybe you can ask her to make a toast at the reception? I would think that would be more meaningful than having her do a reading or something else just to give her a job.

Post # 6
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree that the fact that you’re just having family is a completely legit excuse for not having her. She should be happy that she’ll be involved in the pedi party (the most fun part of being a BM, IMO). Is she usually dramatic about stuff or is she generally a chill person? You may just think she’ll be upset when she may actually not be, especially given your family-only bridal party. If you want her to do a reading, then ask her, but don’t just do it just to have her doing something.

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the others.  You don’t have to feel obligated to ask someone to be in your wedding.  Ask the people you know will be there for you on your big day.  I’ve been in 10 weddings now as a BM and there always seems to be that one girl who doesn’t show up or complains or whatever the case maybe that the bride regretted asking from day one.  So save yourself the much harder more complicated heartache by handling it now instead of later. 

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I, too, agree that the fact that you’re having an all family bridal party is a good excuse for not having her be a bridesmaid. I think having her be a reader is a great idea and you should invite her to the pre wedding pedi’s and the day of festivities. I think miss chapstick made a good point and maybe you should also have her give a toast or something.  

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