Not being acknowledged… would this bother you?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Overly sensitive.  They probably just thanked your husband bc he’s the sibling’s brother.  Not to purposely exclude you.  Try not to take it personally! 

Post # 3
715 posts
Busy bee

hspw714: I think you definitly deserve a thank you too. 

I assume you both signed a card for the money? or said something like “this is from us?”<br />Did they thank your husband and not you because you were not with him when they thanked him? (then probably i could see why they only thanked him at the time – it’s still not right but more excusable)


Post # 4
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

was it a verbal thank you or a thank you card?  maybe they verbally thanked your husband and a formal note is on its way to the both of you.

Post # 5
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

If there was a card only addressed to him, or they only thanked him while in your presence – yes that would bother me! It seems kinda chauvinistic, like assuming the man is automatically in charge of financial decisions. 

Post # 7
1116 posts
Bumble bee

I think they should have said thank you to both of you, especially if it was obvious it was a joint gift. Having said that though I think you need to try and not let it bother you too much.

Post # 8
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If the money was sent to the couple and signed by both then I would be bothered by an exclusionary verbal thank you if I was standing there when my husband was thanked or if I was left off a thank yiu note.


If the money was given solely by my husband like hansed to the couple I would not expect to be thanked. 


My husband put up his family at a hotel when they came ti visit us. He had to go to the hotel for their check in. Although it was our money that bought the hotel room the gift appeared to only to come from him. My family doesn’t thank him when I pick u the tab at a restaurant. 

Give us more details to determine if you were truly slighted.

Post # 9
6448 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it was just a verbal thank you than yes, you are being over sensitive. If it was a card that was addressed only to him then I think it’s strange.

When I call up my grandparents to thank them for a gift I typically only speak to my grandma and tell her thanks instead of talking to both of them. However, I usually also follow up with a card to both of them.

Actually same goes for our parents when we send them something. My mom will call me and thank me but doesn’t call up my husband. I think they probably just thanked your husband because he’s the sibling. 

Post # 10
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oversensitive. That wouldn’t bother me in the least. A simple thank u to my husband for our sacrifice would be just as appreciated as a huge showering of thanks to both of us.

Some ppl have a very hard time expressing gratitude and thankfulness, even in the face of substantial contributions, whether it is monetary or materiel. A simple thank u is all I would need, whether to me or my husband.

Post # 11
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t be too upset. Even if it was a written thank-you.

Post # 13
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Meh it’s Facebook. Maybe they forgot to tag you or just kind of lumped you into a thank you with your husband since its his sibling. I would try not to take it personally.

Post # 14
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

hspw714:  I think it’s very definitely rude and I would be hurt as well. But to be honest I would let it go. Maybe vent to your husband, if you need a vent, and then let it be. People can get so caught up in the excitement (and chaos) of weddings etc., that I think there are hurt feelings quite frequently. Hopefully this was just a one-time oversight 🙂

Post # 15
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Home

It would bother me. You both earn that money as a family. It was rude. One of my husband’s friends sent us money for our wedding, and he didn’t put his fiance’s name on the card, but I sent a thank you to both of them as they are engaged. If I wouldn’t have, I feel like that would have sent a bad vide and would have started a rift (it’s usually the little things, you know?) If it bothers you, talk to her. If you aren’t sure how to approach it, there is a really good book called Crucial Conversations that helps with difficult conversations. I hope this helps and I’m sorry she left you off the thank you.

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