- Miss OBG
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
Let’s jump right in, shall we? My FSIL is one of my three bridesmaids, along with my best friend and my sister. All three girls live far away from me and each other (Boston, NYC and Washington, DC), so it was tricky planning out a bachelorette party. While my sister and best friend talked about renting a place in South Carolina or something like that, I said I’d love to just meet up in New York (convenient mid-point), and go out and have fun there, all crashing at my sister’s place. So aside from drinks and whatnot, it’s essentially a free night/weekend, and easily reachable by train. Everyone worked out their calendars, which was tricky, and we landed on a weekend in April, where Bestie and FSIL would just come into town for Saturday night.
Well, I was napping and got a call from FMIL, telling me that FSIL felt horrible, but her boyfriend’s office was throwing its annual spring party (think corporate, dancing, drinking, food, etc.) and it was the night of my bachelorette party. She felt bad missing my night, but she really wanted to go, and she hadn’t gotten a hold of my sister yet.
What was I supposed to say? First, she didn’t call me and had FMIL do it instead, and while I’m on great terms with her, I’m not going to be mean to her or badmouth her daughter. And I understand the party’s a big deal, but I’m marrying her brother, and I would think she’d feel my bachelorette party was a big deal too. I didn’t know what to say, and I don’t want to have to guilt her into hanging out with me, so I told her mom that that was too bad, and we’d try to work out a different weekend, otherwise I guess she’d just have to miss it.
I then texted my sister, who had apparently been talking to our mom and Bestie to try to figure out what to do, and she didn’t want to stress me out or call back FSIL until she had a plan. I just feel awful making my sister scramble, and I’m pissed about it, but it was literally supposed to be the four of us going out, and I feel like dropping down to three changes the dynamic a lot. We all had a weekend together back in August for the girls to meet, and we had so much fun that I was really excited about this.
What should I do? I’m not going to start off my sisterhood/daughterhood with FI’s family by calling his sister selfish and inconsiderate and then forcing her to come, but this is a big deal and I’m upset that she doesn’t care enough to make it a priority. Meanwhile, I feel bad putting extra pressure on my sister and Bestie, who are insanely busy as it is.