(Closed) Not catholic, but looking at a church?

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
12565 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m fairly certain you have to be a parishoner at the specific church you want to get married at for a period of time before getting married.  You also have to take pre-cana (the pre-marriage counselling) if you want to get married in the Catholic church.

Post # 5
Member
23 posts
Newbee

@MissHolly:  I’m also having this issue with the lack of time to do the 6-month pre-cana that is required to get married in a Catholic church as I’m also going through the FI visa for my FI.

There are churches that we have contacted that would have let us do the pre-cana separately (in our own countries at our own parishes) as long as they were put in contact with both priests to certify that we had indeed completed it.  We decided not to go this route because trying to plan a wedding on a short timeline at the same time as dealing with all the visa paperwork was already enough for us to handle.

I suggest finding a venue that will allow you to bring your own officiant and hold the ceremony there instead of a church.  There are plenty of officiants that are willing to perform any type of religious ceremony you want.  Through looking, we also found a non-denominational church which allows anyone of any faith to get married there.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MissHolly either you or your Fiance must be Roman Catholic in order to be married in a Roman Catholic church, and you have to go through the counselling.  Most churches will tell you that you need at least 6 months notice, because of the process you will need to go through.

Post # 7
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

Yeah, to marry in the Catholic Church you need to have been baptised, had first communion and been confirmed Catholic. And you’ll need to ideally be connected to the church in some way – go to it, live in the parish, your parents live in the parish. And you’ll need to do several sessions with the priest beforehand to coach you for marriage, where you’ll promise to bring your children up Catholic – and I believe promise to have children!

One of you definitely needs to be Catholic though.

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

SOME and probably very few, may let someone get married at a church without ties to the church, it can’t hurt to ask! I’ve had friends who have no religious ties get married at a church…but they may have had a family member who was part of that church. That may have been their “in”. the rules is yes, you have to be baptized etc., but some priests are more open.

Post # 9
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If neither of you are Catholic, I am quite sure that there is no Catholic church that will allow you to get married in it.

Post # 10
Member
6260 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why don’t you check into Masonic temples? A lot of them have church-looking setups, beautiful auditoriums, etc, and you could have the reception there, too. That’s where I am doing mine, because it looks like a church, but I can choose my officiant, my music, write my own vows, and won’t have to host the reception off-site.

Post # 11
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MissHolly:  If you want to get married by  priest one or both of you needs to be Catholic. So it could take awhile to convert if niether of you are. You would also need to attend service a while in most cases. Thus If you want a church wedding you should probably look at some of the few protestant options you have though even those churches can be hesitant so don’t assume they will do it either. The best thing is to call around and see if any of the churches will do it. @EffieTrinket:  has a great idea there. and yes if you do go the conversion route there is still Pre Cana or Engaged Encounter (the Engaged Encounter oly takes a weekend) but often the priest or preacher wants to meet with you a few times so it is still about 6 months.

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