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My husband and I bought a house before we got married. A lot of people dont go 'in order' anymore.
HE is an ASSHOLE. Things happen, life happens. He needs to grow up and get a life (and suck a big one!!)
Not that it's an excuse (it's definitely not), but is he somewhat older? We bought a house and moved in together before our wedding. Even though it's a pretty common and practical thing for people from our generation I still dreaded telling my parents and everyone else their age...they definitely still sort of look down their nose at you even when they don't outright condemn you for it.
What a jerkface...You are right, it is none of his business and he's a jerk for acting like that. And I'm saying that as someone that did do everything in order...down to "waiting" before we were married. People just need to realize that not everyone lives by the same rules so to speak. None of my friends were like me and "did things out of order" and if I was a royal stick in the mud like that guy, I wouldn't have any friends. lol Just be happy you have your guy, your little cutie, and your house...I bet that grumpy guy's ugly cats don't even like him!
What a butthole. Why is it bad to have a house together before you get married? Or why should anyone at any point in time try to make you feel bad for having a child? Stupid people.
Of course! I'm still amazed at how many people frown upon living together before getting married. I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but it was a great choice for us to live together beforehand and we wouldn't have it any other way!! It's been a great experience!!
What a JERK! I can't even believe someone would feel its their place to comment and to blatantly judge. You're better than me, I would of followed up with a snotty comment- which doesn't do anything. I've never been one to think there is a right and wrong order of things. I mean, my mom was a single mother, sooooo- that wasn't ideal either, and she was an amazing role model. It just happens that I've chosen the marriage before the kids and house- who cares?!?
Sorry you had that experience, don't ever let that kind of ignorance get to ya!
Thanks girls! I shook it off like it doesn't bother me, but it really does! More of the fact that he judges me when he has no idea my situation! People are so rude!
Ugh, ignore him!
No kids here, but my FI and I bought our house last year which was waaaay before our wedding. I think there is no "right" way or order to do things. FI and I bought a house that we love together and we are committed to each other.
For you, yes, you have a child, but you provide him with a safe loving environment so I think it doesn't matter that you are not married.
Yeah, my FI and I have been living in OUR house for three years.
What a jerk.
Ohh yeah.
We've been living together for three years. And our son turns 3 this fall (about two months after we get married)
Whatever. I did it "the traditional way" the first time. And ended getting a divorce.
If they get real snarky I've been known to say "If I want your opinion I'll ask for it, until that point go sit on a tack and wait."
Seriously, his life must be pretty lame if he feels the need to pass judgement on yours..jerk.
"Our kids" have a wonderful 3 1/2 y.o. daughter and got married last year. It didn't matter to us about the order! We adore "our little family" and we all laughed together at their wedding about their "doing things backwards". What matters is the LOVE!!!
My folks didn't like the Mr & me living together either, but it was the best thing we could have done for ourselves. We've been married nearly 30 years! ;)
Just ... wow. I'd be tempted to ask him just what exactly he expected you to do now that you're aware of his disapproval? Put your toddler up for adoption? Kick your FI out of the house and struggle to make the payments alone? Look, everyone has their own opinions on the "right" way to do things, and not everybody agrees on what that is, but what's to be gained by judging you? Besides, plenty of people do things his "right" way and still end up divorced or widowed or miserable, so it's not like he's got a magic formula for success. Plus at this point, like you said your life is what it is, and you're thrilled with it, but even if you weren't, it's not like you can undo having a child or whatnot, so what was he possibly hoping to accomplish? Just be satisfied in the knowledge that he must be a very unhappy person to be spreading negativity like that all the time.
I agree people are jerks! My FIand I did things so out of order that it's probably illegal in some states! Lol. I ha d my son at the age of 16, met my fiancee at 19, we moved in together and had our daughter at 20, bought a house (this january) at 22, and are getting married next June at 24. It may not work for everyone and we definitely did not plan things this way, but this is where we are. And obviously if we were able to purchase a nice home at 22 then we are doing something right. It's hard sometimes, but I have learned to brush off naysayers who no one could possibly please anyway. Good luck to you and your family!
I think the 'right order' for doing things, is the order that is right for you. And if that means child-house-wedding or house-wedding-child or wedding-child-house then who cares! If it works for you then its the right option. I wish people wouldn't be so judgemental about things that are none of their business!!
I walked down the aisle with a baby bump, $4k dress and all. That guy can STFU. We also owned a house first.
Agreed with Roux ! If it's right for you, it's right. Look at how happy you are ... and he's probably miserable as anything.
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I was sitting at work, and this guy comes in. In general, I don't like him, think he is an ass. But anyways. He asked me what my plans were for the summer, so I said: We are working on getting a lawn going since we just had our house built, and planning our wedding. He goes: Wait, so you have a house together and then are getting married? I said yes. And then he says: Let me guess, you have kids too. I was like, actually, yeah, a 2 1/2 year old. He like made a sound, and left. WTF?! First it really isn't any of his business and second, what is so wrong with that? Maybe it isn't ideal, but its life and I love every part of mine.
Have you ever gotten really rude comments about not doing things "in order"?