Post # 1
Ok so I have been with my BF for 3.5 years. We have been living together for a little over 2 years. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and recently my bf adopted her. I am so sad I am not engaged yet. Recently my cousin just got engaged and I’m devastated bc now who knows how long it will take him to proposeto me!!! We talk about this constantly and how sad I am that it hasn’t happened. Basically it’s financial reasons for him. Everything is about money with him( in a good way). He wants to pay for a wedding with no loans etc. that is smart and I love him for that but in the mean time my heart is breaking. I can’t pretend to be happy about ths anymore. He tells me to have patience,but we’ve been talking about marriage for 3 years already. I have no patience left in me. Just sadness!!! How do I get over this! I mean he adopted my daughter for goodness sake.She doesn’t have the same last name as me anymore. It’s killing me! Help! Anyone have any advice? Or words of comfort? Lol
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
Would you be okay with having a simple, civil marriage and then having a celebration later when you’ve saved up the money? If so, drop some hints that you are okay with this scenario and maybe he’ll be more likely to pop the question. I mean, clearly he already plans on spending his life with you. He wouldn’t have adopted your daughter otherwise.
Post # 4
: i can see where you have pain. words of comfort- just bc he seems to be patient doesn’t mean he isn’t itching on the inside to marry you, too. adopting your daughter is a HUGE commitment. admitting that he doesn’t have sufficient funds to provide you with the wedding you deserve can be something even harder to do! just remember that we all have different expectations of getting married. a year ago i swore i didn’t want to get married until i could afford a house, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t wish i could marry my bf asap! i believe he’s just trying to make sure he has enough saved to get you EVERYTHING you deserve.
just keep remembering how beautiful your relationship is. i’ve heard of worse situations :] keep yourself busy by planning your wedding and think about it this way– everyday you can add something to your wedding list and feel secure that your FI will have $ to buy it!!!
hope that helps <3
Post # 5
As pp suggested, have you two talked about City Hall? If what you really want is to be married, and not a wedding, this may be your best bet. You could always have a reception in the park or a restaurant with just your closest friends and family.
Post # 6
Justice of the Peace weddings are cheap. I am having one on the 9th, and our “formal” wedding on the 16th of June. You don’t need to have the big shabang right out of the gate.
Post # 7
He actually has an amazing job, we bought agrouse atear ago and his savings is amazing. In my eyes financially were good. I told him I don’t care if we have a small wedding,but he doesn’t want that. I just don’t know how to stop the pain in the meantime. I know it will happen but not soon enough lol
Post # 8
I meant to say we bought a house a year ago
Post # 9
@Nicash22: I agree with PP’s this is a hard situation but this man is clearly committed to you. Waiting sucks, so hard, but I think it might also be worth mentioning if he doesn’t already know this, how long you are happy to wait to get married after the proposal? Some guys just think “proposal = wedding” and they have to be ready to be married right then and there when they propose. My SO knows he has roughly 2 years after he proposes of ‘being engaged’ and planning before we actually tie the knot, which has helped him enormously because his biggest issue is he feels we are “too young”.
Good luck & **HUGS**
Post # 10
@Nicash22: he ADOPTED YOUR DAUGHTER!!! Honestly to me, thats more of a committment than being engaged! He made a lifetime commitment right there.
He is smart, and unfortunetly my SO is the same way (darn them :p) He doesnt see the point in spending money on a wedding if you cant afford to buy a house. He doesnt want to be in debt over it either, so for us its defintely waiting until we can financially start our lives together.