Not engaged, but we have a wedding date. Is that weird?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1189 posts
Bumble bee

@simplicitea:  you’ve been together for 10 years?! I don’t think that’s weird at all!


My SO and I have already picked our season and year for our wedding, and we are not engaged either.

Post # 4
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It would be weird for me. We didn’t start planning the wedding until after we were engaged. But if it works for you, go for it.

Post # 5
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Well I don’t think it’s weird, but I do think it means that despite what you think, you are engaged 🙂

Post # 6
8478 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@simplicitea:  It seems like you’re unoffically engaged (as in you’re planning to get married), so it’s not that weird.  However, I didn’t even think about weddings until after we got the ring.

Post # 8
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@simplicitea:  I would say then you are engaged, just without the ring at the momoent! DH & I were together for 8 years, mutually decided it was time to tie the knot, and set a date. I got the ring and traditional proposal a few months later, but we were still engaged between then. Congrats!

Post # 9
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Knowing when you want to get married is fine and even thinking about it is ok, but I think it’s weird when people start putting deposits down before telling anyone (including their family) that they are getting married.

Post # 11
214 posts
Helper bee

@simplicitea:  I have a wedding date set and Im not engaged yet. My SO knows my plans too and agrees. 

We started dating on May 7, 2011. Ever since I started thinking about weddings, I had always wanted our wedding date to mean something. I didnt want to just pick a random wedding date. I got to looking at some future dates on the calender on my iphone and realized that in 2016, May 7th just happens to fall on a Saturday. Got my wedding date 🙂 We will be together exactly 5 years on May 7, 2016. 

I originally wanted to have the wedding in 2015 bc I just didnt want to wait and 2015 was the soonest we could get married. I found a date that I was semi-happy with, Sept 7th. It wasnt the same month when we started dating but at least the same day. Then I looked further into 2016 and realized that May 7th fell on a weekend which is a date worth waiting for 🙂

Post # 12
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@simplicitea:  Remember, just because you don’t have a ring and aren’t in the “deposit” phase, doesn’t mean you can’t look! We wanted non-traditionl venues so we started visiting all kinds of museums/gardens and such before we were engaged. It was a fun way to see our city and window shop before the official engagement.

Post # 14
2970 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Sounds to me like you are engaged then.

Post # 15
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@simplicitea:  Um, we have our venue, caterer, my dress, and not officially engaged! So I guess I’m in same boat. Ring is picked out and deposit put down, but the official asking hasn’t happened so I don’t consider myself engaged.

Post # 16
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s only weird if you think its weird, or if the two of you didn’t agree on it.  Every couple is different, so as long as their process/timeline is making both of them happy then more power to them 🙂


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