Not engaged yet already planning.

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Am I totally nuts to be planning without a ring?
    You are totally insane in the membrane! : (37 votes)
    30 %
    If you're nuts then I'm on the same boat make room. : (45 votes)
    36 %
    You're fine. : (20 votes)
    16 %
    To each their own. : (23 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    A classmate of mine had her entire wedding planned from the venue to her dress to decorations, etc. before her boyfriend actually proposed. Now they’re engaged and getting married in August, and from what I’ve heard have had to do very little additional planning since their Christmas “official” engagement.

    Post # 4
    1631 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I bought my bridesmaid dresses last summer and I was engaged on NYE. I looked at venues and realized getting married in a barn was a no-go and that I needed to find alternatives.

    You are fine 🙂

    The only thing I waited to do was buy a dress. I am not sure why I thought everything else was fine – but I was sure that would jinx me lol.

    Post # 7
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    To me, the ring is just a formality. If he’s sitting there saying “I love you and want to marry you and be with you for the rest of my life” like my DH did, then there’s the hint that you need to start planning. DH let me pick my ring. It took me 2 months to find the ring and while I was looking for the ring i was planning the wedding. He helped me pick colors and helped plan (a little) as well before the ring.

    Post # 8
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    For me, what it comes down to is that any major wedding decisions should be made as a couple (season, formality level, size, theme, etc). So if you’re both on board, and planning this wedding together, then a ring doesn’t really matter. But if you’re planning things by yourself before an engagment, that may not be the best. 

    Post # 9
    8503 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I planned some.  I researched all the venues in the area and we booked our venue and photographer before we announced our engagement “officially.”  I wanted this date so I wanted to make sure we booked it before they filled up.  I started about 14 months out, which was 2 months before we announced it.

    Post # 13
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @eecuadrado:  Unfortunately everyone may not feel that way 🙁 His sister freaked out when he announced his engagement on FB the night of Christmas 2011. She already knew I had purchased my dress and was looking at venues back in Oct. plus I had my ring for 3 weeks before we announced it on Christmas and she wanted to act like she had NO idea we were getting married. I guess she thought I bought the dress to play dress up?

    Post # 14
    3806 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @eecuadrado:  I did something similar to this. I had a contract and deposit in for our venue before FI proposed but it was done just days before he proposed. We were together for 5 months when we started discussing getting engaged and by month 6 we were engaged. He said he wanted to be married before the end of 2013 so I had to move quickly! lol 

    I chose a venue within a month of starting the discussion, then bought a dress 3 days after we were engaged. I moved on to booking a photographer and then a florist, then a DJ. It’s June and we’re pretty much done with our planning – just tweeking things here and there. It can be done in a short time span! Just focus and make decisions quickly.

    ETA: There’s nothing wrong with getting an idea of what you like. So even if you aren’t signing contracts and paying out money, there’s nothing wrong with getting things lined up if you KNOW a ring is coming.

    Post # 15
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have a lot of things planned in my head and written down. No official deposits down but I have my photographer picked out, narrowed down my venues, Bouquets planned (even made a practice one), center pieces planned, wedding party picked for the most part, and my dress nailed down (not bought or even tried on yet). I am not engaged but we have done all of this together. We are getting married in October of 2014 and I am planning everything.

    My wedding bouquet will look like this but bigger and different accents.


    Post # 16
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Squaw Valley

    @eecuadrado:  I/we are basically “pre-planning”.  SO wanted me to pick my ring, but he also wants to wait to talk to my dad once he has the ring in hand.  We started ring shopping early May.  Now that the stone and setting have been purchased, we’re a few weeks out while it’s being made.

    Once we got the stone, I went into “pre-planning” mode.  I’m a big time planner, so I figured we may as well use this time to get a head start.  I’ve been doing a lot of research and we’ve talked venue, size, decor, etc. together.  He knows that the minute the ring is ready, he’s talked to my dad and we can officially announce that we are engaged we will me making a trip to check out some of the venues we’ve discussed.

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