Post # 1
Hello all! Getting married on 8/31/14…my dad passed away on 01/05/13…I find it extremly difficult and can hardly fatham the thought that he will not be there on this day!! How will we get through the day…I know all of the cliche lines…he will be there in spirit and all…I know that but it still does not change the facts…I’m an emotional person naturally…so should I not even attempt wear any eye make up lol
Anyone have a similar family situation? I don’t want my wedding day to do so emotional…I want it to be a joyous occasion but I just fear it will be emotional for so many different reason!!!!
My brother is going to be giving me away…if anyone has any suggesttions on a good song for he and I to dance to that would be great appreciated as well.
Post # 2
I feel your pain, but my Dad passed years ago, and I STILL cry about it. I am having a moment of silence in the ceremony for him, my uncle, and my aunt who just passed last week… It is rough, but it is ok to cry. Try to remember that it is a joyous day to be celebrated. I am sorry for your loss, dear.
Post # 3
bebelicious1: Thank You!!! That’s a nice idea…I am getting married at the church his funeral was held…by a priest who was at the hospital the night he passed so it all has a nice sentiement for me. I’m sorry for your loss as well…i’m realizing time doe not heal…just forces us to adapt to this new reality.
Post # 4
Sarah415: I’m very sorry for your loss. I can relate to the situation, my dad passed on October 22nd last year and I’m getting married this September; my brother is walking me down the aisle too. He was diagnosed with cancer in January and by October we were facing the end of it, so even though we had a few months to cope it was still pretty sudden and of course very emotional.
I think one of the hardest parts will be what would be the father/daughter dance. It’s a difficult situation, I go through the roller coaster of emotions: ecstatic that I’m getting married and devastated that he won’t be there.
I just try to remind myself that he would want me to enjoy my wedding day, and even if I get emotional at some point in the day, the happiness of the occasion and all the positive feelings will help with him not being there.
I’m sorry for the long reply, but I hope that you find a way to cope that works best for you and that on the day of your wedding you are able to focus on all the positive things and enjoy every minute of it.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry! I’m in the same boat, except my dad passed away three years ago and I have a wonderful stepfather to give me away. But I was daddy’s girl so it’s really sad for me. We included my dad by having the wedding on his birthday at one of his favorite spots. We’re also doing a moment of silence for all we’ve lost: my dad, then his dad, my stepmom of 20 years, and my aunt. Basically everyone on my dad’s side passed after him, it’s really so so sad. I mean, my aunt just died suddenly last weekend, so it’s still so raw. Buuut, all you can do is have a beautiful wedding, and remember them, but don’t dwell on your loss. Let yourself be happy on that day.
Oh, also…instead of preserving my bouquet, I’m leaving it at the cemetery on my dad’s grave.
Post # 6
That must be so hard. I just went to a wedding this month and the grooms mother passed away suddenly in February.
They mentioned her in their vows, speaches, and the bride and a little photo of her that was clipped to her bouquet.
Post # 7
Sarah415: I’m so so sorry for your loss 🙁 *hugs*
It will inevidtabley be a very emotional day but he will want you to enjoy it so make sure you do! You’re allowed to still have a wonderful time despite such a loss.. Find a way to ackowledge him that makes you comfortable. Whether that’s playing a favourite song of his, saving him a seat, having a candle/picture of him.. whatever brings you comfort.
If you are geniunely concerned about smudging your make up (i’m not sure if you just mentioned that off the cuff if you’re actually not sure what to do!) but let your make-up artist know and consider getting false eyelashes – you don’t have to wear mascarra with them and you’ll still get the same look. If you’re wanting to wear eyeliner etc your make-up artist can use waterproof products and i’m sure they will anyway, but using a setting powder will help keep everything as it should be.
Again, i’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to still have the wonderful day you deserve xx
Post # 8
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I think I would definitely avoid any father-themed songs for the dance. (All of them make me cry.)
Was there a song your dad liked that would be appropriate?
Post # 9
Just reading all of these replies gets he all teary eyed! Oy Vey!! Flowers at the cemetary…OMG I love that!!!! I am preserving my bouqet but maybe I’ll have one made for that too!!
Thank you everyone for the kind words…it’s all very bittersweet!! I’m so excited for the future…just really sad he won’t be thete the way I want him to be!!
Post # 10
as for the song…he loved the bodyguard so there’s always that song but again I don’t want it to be a huge reminder and ball of emotions.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry about your loss. It is difficult losing a parent and going through a huge milestone like a wedding without them. I agree with Miss E—choose ways to honour your dad that make you comfortable. And they don’t all have to be sad ones—is there a happy or goofy song that he used to sing along to?
I have a similar situation–I lost my mom 9 years ago and my grandfather 2 years ago and I’m doing subtle things to honour them. I had rosary beads made from the flowers at my mom’s funeral and I’m wrapping them around my bouquet. We’re having family wedding photos at cocktail hour.
One of my favorite memories of my mom was the trip to Hawaii she took with her girlfriends. Her face would always light up when she talked about it. Soon after she passed, my grandfather heard “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by the Hawaiian guy Iz and always thought of her. From that day I knew I wanted to dance with my grandfather on that song. When he passed, I decided I’d dance with my dad to it and have my sister join in at the end of it and make it a family dance—its just us 3 now.
I think its perfect for me–I live Somewhere Over the Rainbow in Australia–my mom always knew I wanted to come here—I moved after she passed so she never got to see me go. And not everyone will know the muliple signifcance of the song choice, but I think it will make it even more special.
Oh and I plan on donating flowers to my grandmother’s retirement home after the wedding, and some of the other flowers to the cemetery where my mom, grandfather and nana are–they are all together in the same place