Not even PG yet and IL's already annoying me with "their plans" for our kids…

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It sounds to me like both you AND your FIL are way ahead of yourselves. He’s probably just dreaming, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s nothing wrong with you feeling like he’s a nut case. But the fact of the matter is, there are no kids yet, and you are far off from the situation of actually all camping together. If this is bothering you and you aren’t even PG yet, you’re going to need to put on some armor because people are going to get much worse when you actually get pregnant with their “our baby”‘s and their big dreams and their things they want to buy for the baby etc… And you will have to learn to just smile and nod and let it roll off your back. Until your baby is actually of age to GO camping? Who cares about the mold.

Post # 3
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It sounds they their expectations are WAY out of the ball park. Why buy something like that, )  to use with children who are not even concieved yet- its just really ODD. I wouldnt say a word because  they’ll probably come to the realization that it isn’t appropriate… considering they’ll have YEARS before those plans could see the light of day. 

So much changes with time- When soemthing is that far off, its best to not to make waves before its needed. If they do start purchasing other stuff… then yeah maybe say something. 

Post # 4
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

If you are getting worked up about the stuff your inlaws are doing now, by the time you are actually pregnant and have children everything is going to snowball. You see here often people who have not found a ways to adjust to their inlaws different family styles. THey post about EVERY little thing their ILs do, and it appears to be nothing to everyone else, but to them they can’t do anything right.

I would curb talking with them about these things for now. Maybe your DH could make it a a project to help your FIL if he is really set on redoing this camper. Try to remembr them having excitment for your future children and wanting to have a strong bond with the is not a bad thing when the time comes.

Post # 5
Member
7258 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

This is nothing to worry about right now. Just be happy that his parents want to be involved and already love your baby that doesn’t exist!

Post # 13
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

shanbp:  Sounds like your husband is a bigger issue than your in laws! I’d absolutely work on that first. You two need to be on the same page or you don’t have a hope with the in laws! This needs to be a joint discussion and both your views are valid, you just need to find some sort of compromise.

Post # 14
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Is the order for these posts all screwy for everyone else?

Post # 8
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

shanbp:  Well I understand a bit better now why you are already worried about this stuff, if they are typically a pain etc… Maybe the words “yeah that might be fun” or “some day maybe” would work for now. That’s not a promise, it’s a maybe 😉

Post # 9
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

shanbp:  I think you’re putting your cart about 10 miles in front of your horse! I’d go with the smile and “we’ll see”, then change the subject, approach until it’s a more immediate issue. Overbearing in-laws definitely need firm boundaries, but I don’t think the need to be set before you’re even preggers! But I think it’s a good idea to use these opportunity to be sure that your husband and you are on the same page.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors