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Why on earth would someone say something like that? That's very judgemental. What do you tell them?
You make out in public in highschool or at drunken frat parties. You sound much more mature than your firends, so hold your head high dear!
You need to hang out with a new group then lol! Come hangout with my SO and I! We never show public affection. When we are in public we act more like friends then we do a couple. I get grossed out by public affection.
Psh, people are so insane. You do not have to makeout in public to prove that you are dating/engaged/married. So irritating. I think we all know "that couple" that insists they are perfect and everyone else is clearly doing it wrong. Ignore them, THEY are wrong...and I tend to believe are over-compensating for something. But you know, wouldn't want to be hypocritical. ;)
I do show affection towards my husband in public but it's pretty tame. A peck on the lipe, a hug, hand holding and the raciest I get is I sometimes pinch his butt in Walmart,
I will admit that seeimg a couple cling to or climb over eachother is a little to much for me.
My FI is the same. He is not affectionate in front of others. If I initiate a kiss, he'll kiss back, but not open-mouthed (not that I'd want that in front of people). He never walks up to me and starts kissing/groping me. I'm okay with that, though. I love him. He loves me, and I know it. However, certain people comment on it like they think my FI doesn't love me, or something. FI's cousin is one of those people. She thinks that because my FI isn't always all over me, that something must be wrong with our relationship. She text me on my birthday and asked, "Is (FI) getting you anything? He better be or I'll kick his butt!" I just thought to myself, why wouldn't he be getting me a gift for my birthday? He's my fiance!
Who actually makes out in public? I mean I haven't done that since I was in my teens. I guess if your all punk rock or if your party alot, but I think everyone else saves that sort of thing for when your alone with your SO/FI.
I can relate! My SO is kind of shy/quiet. I'm more outgoing,talkative and bubbly...sometimes loud lol. So I could see how some people would think i'd have some crazy affection guy running around. He's not huge on PDA. But he's not afraid to show it, and I am also the one to usually initiate, but nothing really too 'mushy' in public.. a quick kiss or hug. I have gotten questions/comments from other people in relationships, and I just tell it like it is.. I love the way SO is. I'm happy with how we are. I personally (and many may disagree..) would not want someone constantly hanging all over me and breathing down my neck 24/7.. and I sometimes think that people who are like that, are trying too hard or something? Gimme' my space! lol But every relationship is different and if it works for them, kudos! We cuddle at home all the time and show affection.. It's us, and that's how I like it. :)
That's my point! This isn't high school or college. We're 26 and 27 so many of our friends are the same age maybe a little younger. I don't really say too much to the person/people who make these comments what's the point? I'm not going to convince them anyway and I shouldn't have to.
Pinksapphire I can't tell you how much I can relate, either our SO's were cut from the same stock or our friends, not sure. But sounds like a situation I've been in before.
Ugh, I hate PDA; I don't think 'how sweet' I think 'yuk, get a room!'. The most we ever do in public is hold hands, or have a quick peck on the check/lips. I like my personal space, and couldn't be dealing with arm linking/etc.
On a similar note, 2 of my friends recently made some snide/snarky remarks over the fact that my OH and I have just ordered a 6' wide bed. We both like our own space at night, and have different sleep patterns, so can't wait for the extra space (my current bed is 4'6"). My friends both made comments along the lines of 'Oh, you don't like sharing a small bed? How strange! I love snuggling up with my OH. I didn't use to, but he's just right for me, you know?' Now, maybe I'm overeacting, but the insinuation there is that if my OH was 'right' for me, I'd suddenly be cool with be squashed, hot and uncomfortable in bed. Umm, first, no; I need space when I sleep. Second, these girls have been with their partners for 9 MONTHS and 3 WEEKS respectively. Coime back in a couple of years love and tell me you still like a disturbed and uncomfortable night's sleep... lol
I agree. I've been around some pretty immature couples who, when provoked, will literally stomp the ground and say that their relationship is better. (yeah, we're not friends with them anymore). I wonder if it comes from a sense of insecurity on their part, needing to prove that they're in a super relationship, or maybe it's just a very young relationship.
Either way it's their relationship, and if they want to PDA it up, whatever.
@barbie86: hello, passive aggressive friends! geesh. We have a queen, but we want a california king. I like to cuddle with him, but I can't fall asleep like that.
Ugh I'm on your side hun... I hate PDA and have actually told our friends who think they are in HS still (they are 27 and 30) to tone it down when they are with us because it makes us uncomfortable. Let's ditch our "high school" friends and hang out. ;)
I completly agree! We are the exact same way, and always have been. A few weeks ago at school we were with a couple of girls from my class and when FI went into his classroom I just simply said "cya after class" and went to my class. Well everyone we were with thought we were arguing or something because we didnt have a big make-out session in the hall way.
@barbie86: UGH YES! We want a California King size bed SO BADLY. We share a Queen right now and it's just not comfortable sometimes, especially in the summer as he's a furnace. It's funny thinking back...we've shared a TWIN bed before (back in the college days) and even then didn't claim to love it. Fast Forward 3.5 years of bed-sharing and our Queen is much too small! haha. It doesn't mean we are grossed out by eachother's touch, jeez! People are so silly.
@barbie86: I'm right there with you. My husband and I are going to be putting in an offer on a house soon, and if we end up buying it, our very first furniture purchase will be a bigger bed. We have a queen right now, and it's nowhere near big enough.
Agreed! I actually had a good friend tell me her husband mentioned DH "Didn't seem like he was in love with me" because we aren't into PDA. Umm he is the most caring sensitive loving person I know. My friends husband was into PDA but also into completely ignoring her and doing whatever he pleased most of the time... take your pick on which sounds better but I choose my husband! We do not need to make out in public and cling to each other to be in love, and how rude to tell me that!
ETA: Oh, and we have a king size bed too! =]
I think people that show excessive PDA feel like they have something to prove.. to themselves and others.
Some things are very 'aww' worthy in public, which my DH and I do. (Holding hands, pecks on the lips, cheeks, etc. saying I love u baby, holding each other's tush 'gently'.)
Some things are very 'eww' worthy in public, which my DH and I refrain from. (Super-duper french kissing, groping, spanking, fake-humping, etc.)
My FI and I aren't into PDA either. It's just gross! We hold hands and give a little peck now and again. If it's cold, I'll link my arm with his, but to be honest, it's just to get his warmth. I agree with PPs, people only do lots of PDA when they're in high school.
Right now, my FI and I have a full bed, but one day, I'd love a bigger bed! However, I do like to snuggle when it's cold. But, again, it's a warmth thing.
Yeah I agree. Many people aren't very affectionate in public. My husband and I aren't normally. Sometimes we are when we've had a few drinks, like at this years Christmas party. But everyday when we're out shopping, no. He hates holding hands, it reminds him on being 12, and I hate his arm around me, it messes up my hair, and is so uncomfortable to walk. Also, we don't really kiss in public, and if we do, it's usually a little peck here or there, nothing anyone would really notice.
Oh girl, that's messed up! My FI isn't crazy affectionate in public. Sometimes he will lean over and kiss my cheek or put his arm around my shoulders, hold hands etc. In private is another story!
Don't listen to your friends, they've got no clue what they're talking about!!
DH and I hold hands and kiss hello and goodbye in public, but that's where it ends. I don't think you're weird at all for toning down the PDA, in fact, I think you're doing civilized society a favor!
I feel the same way! And the same goes with digital PDA. I'm sorry but I don't need to post a billion times about our relationship. I always feel like these people are trying to compensate by "showing" everyone how in love they are. Psshhh
My SO is the same way and i am too to be honest. We will give a kiss here or there but in general we dont really do the whole PDA thing. Tht is something we would rather keep private. I wouldnt even acknowledge anyone who had anything to say about it. it just doesnt matter to me. or i would openly roll my eyes at it and move on. It can be frustrating but as long as you two are on the same page thats all that matters.
@Sasha2011: i actually tend to think any grabbing of a body part in public is very inappropriate. But thats just me. What works for each couple though is different i guess. I think you just got me at the "grab of the tush" thing...thats a bit too far and would make me uncomfortable if i saw a couple in public doing that lol i dont wanna see a couple touching each others butts gently or not! o_O im not trying to say whats right or wrong for you and your DH of course! but im just throwin my .02 in
I am completely Anti PDA as well so you are not alone. FI doesn't care but I do. holding hands and hugging is about as PDA as it gets for me in public.
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Must vent a little. I get a little annoyed with people who question mine and SO's relationship. SO doesn't really show tons of affection in public he will but I have to be the one to initiate it. This is completely different from when it's just the 2 of us. I hate it that people try and compare our relationship to others who may show more affection in public. They think theirs are better because they "make out" in front of a group of people. I have the sweetest, most fun loving, caring guy around. This sounds so cliche but don't judge a book by its cover!