Not excited about the dress?

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was meh.. for no other reason than I just don’t enjoy the process of shopping.

I like to acquire new things, but I hate the whole trying on things and speaking to sales people. Its so exhausting and tiring. I didn’t hate dress shopping as much as I thought I would, even though it was a stiffling 30 degrees out and I squeezed myself into torturous shapewear.

I ended up being very happy with how I looked, despite knowing that because of an injury I’d be happier if I lost 10 pounds going into it. I think you may surprise yourself, go in with an open mind and no more than 1 or 2 people and you won’t be scarred for life.

Post # 3
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

rachel85:  I just want to hug you! This is the one day that no matter what you are going to feel beautiful. I have a few friends who have gone wedding dress shopping with other people and hated the experiece and ended up finding their dresses while they were out shopping alone, so that may be a blessing in disguise.

As for not being sure about the venue/ceremony I think that could also be a positive! If you pick the dress first, maybe it will be easier to choose your venue after depending on the over all feel youre after.

As for your expectations of how you will look… first of all, you are nothing short of beautiful and you will find the dress. Secondly, my sister had the same worries and the dress she ended up picking turned her very athletic build into a beautiful feminine silohuette so don’t worry about that either.

I am sorry you’re feeling less than thrilled about this. It is a minor detail and if the process doesn’t excite you then it doesn’t but I think it could be a really great thing for you 🙂 Plus all us girls on the Bee will be so excited to see your choice and help you out!

Post # 4
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ll say this- it’s probably best to have your ceremony and reception venues nailed down before you decide on a dress.  I’ve seen too many dress regret posts that go something like, “I bought this dress because it was perfect for what I thought would be an outdoor garden wedding, but now we’re having an elegant ballroom wedding and it doesn’t work.”  

I didn’t start getting excited about dress shopping until I had those details in my mind- I could picture myself in my gorgeous chapel or walking through the gardens wearing certain dresses but not others. 

I will also say that I was at the higher end of my weight fluctuation when I went shopping, and I wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of seeing my far-from-perfect body in the dresses.  It did not matter a bit.  I actually looked amazing in too many of the dresses haha- it made my choice a lot harder!  Wedding dresses do special things to the way you look, I bet you’ll be surprised!     

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - The Fox Hill Inn

rachel85:  I was so excited about going dress shopping, until the actual day came! The first trip I had my mom, FMIL, and 3 bridesmaids. I told them all that I had ideas of what I wanted, but wasn’t looking for opinions. I had also invited my stepmom and was very nervous on how everyone was going to get along and what if someone likes the dress and others shoot her down? I was also stressed thinking I had this very strict timeline because every salon I went to said “Oh, you should really order your dress in the next two weeks to make sure it gets here in time for alterations”, so that didn’t help.

The second trip only my mom was able to make it – I found the dress I had been dreaming about and went after work. I didn’t end up liking it, but found a dress that I LOVED, but when I showed my BM’s they didn’t feel the same way. (I blame the lighting in the salon! haha)

My third (and final) trip was stressful. I just wanted to be done with the whole process and find my dress. I never got an overwhelming feeling or cried, I actually was just “eh” about THE dress when I first tried it on, then I was a total jerk (sorry salon lady!) and basically said no immediately to every dress after. I put THE dress back on, she laced me up like I would be on my wedding day and I got a wealth of compliments from my BMs and mom. After standing there long enough staring at myself in the mirror, I realized that this dress was the best of all I’d tried on and what I was looking for. Never cried, didn’t jump for joy, but had a big smile on my face and was happy to cross this off the To Do list! 

There’s so much pressure with finding the PERFECT dress that it certainly took a toll on me. Will my fiance like it, will my dad approve? How am I going to sit/stand/dance/walk in this all night? Blah blah blah… overall, I didn’t mind the process. The one person who I wish could’ve been there (my sister – the MOH) lives across the country, so she was unable to be there in person, although we sent pics when we were able to. I also threw some totally ridiculous dresses in the mix to try on just to make it more fun for everyone (and me!) and that seemed to help. 

I hope you are able to find some fun in it! Good luck! 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  MrsMcM920.
Post # 7
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

rachel85:  Enjoy it and keep us posted. I would love to see your dress when you say yes! 

Post # 9
Member
842 posts
Busy bee

rachel85:  I was terrified of my first dress appointment on the day of it. The only reason I could convince myself to go was telling my awesome maids of honour that I was having cake afterwards (and preferably a glass of sparkling wine too), come hell or high water.

Luckily the rest of the appointments were less daunting.

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I ordered my dress 8.5 months before my wedding, from a boutique, and it showed up about 3 months before the wedding. They didn’t even want me in for a fitting until 2 months before, so it sat in the store for a month. Don’t feel threatened by a deadline; the bride I’m MOH for just ordered a dress online fron China, having never seen it, and her wedding is just 5 months away.

As for apathy towards shopping, I was the same way. Not excited, just nervous and wanting to get it over with. My mom made a point that really stuck by me though. She said that everyone today makes way too big of a deal about the dress. 200 years ago, people just got married in whatever they owned that was nice. She said I should just find something that I like, that fits me and suits the kind of wedding I’m having and leave it at that. She said not to obsess because really, it’s not about the dress.

I ended up loving my dress, even though I wasn’t nearly as thin in it as I would have liked and finding a good bra was a nightmare. But I never worried about it. I just wanted to get married

Post # 11
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

So I loved dress shopping (and I def do not have a model’s body!), but I get really irked by how much pressure we culturally put on finding THE DRESS. Maybe it’s because of Say Yes to the Dress or just the Wedding Industrial Complex in general. But I would just try to ignore that pressure — it’s just a dress!

And if you don’t find it on one particular day, that’s okay! My bff popped into Neiman Marcus one day on her lunch break, tried on a dress, liked it, bought it, and then went back to work! Done in an hour! And she looked so happy and gorgeous on her wedding day.  You will, too!

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