Post # 1
Is anyone else going through a deployment having a hard time getting excited about the wedding?
My fiance has been deployed for almost 7 months. He was supposed to be home by now, but the lovely sequester squashed that. We know he’s going to be able to make it to the wedding (thank God!), but we have no idea when he’s actually coming home.
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs during this deployment and while I’ve gone through periods where I didn’t want to plan the wedding, I’ve always been really excited about it. I thought that I would be getting more and more excited about the wedding as it gets closer (that’s normal, right?), but that’s not the case.
I picked up my dress tonight and while I love it, I didn’t have any of the “Yay! I’m getting married!” feelings I thought I would. My response was more along the lines of, “Eh, this is nice.” I feel like I’m going crazy because lately I just don’t care about the wedding. I really, really want to get married, so it’s not that I’m having doubts about that, I just feel like being in the same room as him again is so much more important than our wedding.
Does anyone else feel this way? How have you been dealing with it?
Post # 3
@Ashleigh6113: yikes this sounds rough, I’m sorry that you are going through it. I’m glad to hear your fi will be able to make the wedding though! It sounds reasonable that you might be less excited about the details, because the most exciting thing is that he is coming home. In not sure i have any advice, And I’m not in the same situation, but definitely try to let yourself enjoy this time!
Post # 4
Aww, I haven’t been through a deployment and am not a military wife so take this with a grain of salt. I have, however, done the wedding thing and have spent almost two years doing civilian work in Afghanistan.
Doll, feel what you feel. It’s ok. I can absolutely see how not having your FI with you during this time could easily make it feel secondary or “less real.” You’re doing it all alone, and I’m sure its both exhausting and terrifying. (My husband is going to be working in Somalia all summer so although it’s not military- it is very similarly dangerous to one, if not maybe more so than most areas of Afghanistan so I have a general idea).
In many ways, I can see how getting FI back is more important than the wedding. In the end, the wedding is one day. All of what you’re doing now is prep for your marriage, which will last a life time. I’m sure when he gets home, the wedding will seem a bit more exciting, but even then I’m sure that figuring out how to be around one another and helping him transition back to US life will still probably feel more important and time consuming. (I know it’s always weird for a while when DH and I are apart and we’ve never been apart for more than 6 months).
Good luck! *hugs*
Post # 5
I hate reading that someone else is feeling this way.
I’ve lost all excitement. He’s only been gone a few months and is actually scheduled to come back surprisingly soon and then re-deploy. He proposed 10 days before leaving and we decided on a date right before he left. Unfortunately, the wedding party (his side) didn’t agree on the date and he started to feel stressed about planning so he called the whole thing off for now. He’s suggesting a 20 month engagement and I’m somewhat crushed.
I’ve completely stopped planning and I’ve told him to plan the wedding. If we don’t have a wedding 2 years from the engagement date, the agreement is to elope.
Deployment is terrible. 🙁
Post # 6
@ivoryowl: @Mrs.LemonDrop: Thanks for your kind words ladies 🙂 This week was really rough, but things are getting better. I started getting RSVPs back today and I started to get much more excited.
@RedzyO: I’m sorry you’re having such a rough deployment 🙁 I don’t blame you for not wanting to plan your wedding now. I hope you can figure out a sooner wedding date while he is home; important decisions are always easier to make in person.
Post # 7
@Ashleigh6113 How sweet of you, I’m glad you’re excited again!
He has currently returned (temporarily) and I think we’re making progress!